TTC after 2 MMCs, losing hope ☹️

[Steffi12]

Currently TTC after 2 MMCs within the last year and AF arrived unwanted this morning so feeling a little delicate. We had our first MMC found at 12 weeks in April 2023 and the second this year in Feb 2024 found at 8 weeks. Each time has come as a shock (although I had tried to prepare myself the second time as I knew what could happen). I still had my pregnancy symptoms both times and didn’t have any bleeding or pain. Went to the scans and the first was an empty sac so not sure exactly when I lost them. The second was measuring 6+3 with no heartbeat and in subsequent scans was shrinking. Both times I had to have treatment as my body didn’t recognise the loss at all. I had medical treatment the first time which I found really traumatic so had the surgical option the second time.

Now onto cycle 4 of trying for our double rainbow but feeling defeated. I know each month there’s only a 20% chance of success but when you feel you’ve got the timing right and have symptoms it’s hard when AF hits. It’s also the unknown. I hope my hormone levels are right as my body had tried its hardest to keep the non viable pregnancies but obviously something is going wrong. Leads me to worry there’s something wrong with me or my husband, eggs and/or sperm wise.

In my area they don’t look into anything until you’ve had a 3rd miscarriage which I also can’t bare the thought of. I spoke to a lovely midwife from Tommys who said I can arrange a referral to their clinic but need a GP referral and am currently awaiting a GP appointment.
Our first baby took 5months to conceive and the second 7months and I’m turning 32 in a couple of months and really feel like time is marching on.

Thank you for reading this far, not sure what Im after just hopefully some success stories and just pour my heart out somewhere I think as I’ve been feeling quite alone in all of this recently x

Hi OP,

I don't have lots of wise words but I am also TTC, number 2 and have just had an early loss, so wanted to send you some love and good wishes.

If you are worried about hormones can you ask your GP for a fertility blood test? I know it can vary in different places but my GP did it all for me xx

I'm so sorry for your losses. I just had surgical management for my third MMC last week. I don't have any advice but my 3 pregnancies took 2.5 years, 6 months and 9 months to conceive and I'm 35 so I understand how you're feeling about how long it all takes.

There was new guidance issued last year that some basic blood tests, such as thyroid tests, should be done after 2 miscarriages if possible - could you go back to your GP and even just ask for this? Thyroid issues are quite common and relatively easily fixed.

As I've also had a chemical I had heaps of tests done and they all came back normal. This time I had samples taken for genetic testing as well so waiting to see if that shows anything but that can take 2 months to hear back.

@Chocpot1986 thank you so much for your reply❤️
I’m also so sorry to hear you’re going through a loss too and also want to send my best wishes and love💐

I don’t think I am worried about hormones but equally I am not sure. As I’ve had 2 missed miscarriage’s I’m kinda hoping my levels are okay. But I have read that progesterone helps with development, and also the use of aspirin in some cases. It’s such a minefield and Im terrible for googling for hours on end🙈 my EPU were great with my treatment etc but as I’ve ‘only’ (hate the only wish we didn’t have to have any!!) had 2 won’t do any further investigations leaving me feeling quite deflated and lonely.

But that’s really helpful thank you, I will definitely ask them about those bloods when I get an appointment

Sending love and baby dust✨
xx

@moosey89 thank you so much for your reply❤️
I’m so sorry to hear about your losses and that you’ve just recently had to have surgical management, sending lots of love and best wishes💐

TTC is so emotionally and physically draining and I’m so sorry you’ve also had long waits to conceive

Thank you so much for the information I will definitely ask the GP about those blood tests when I get my appointment. My EPU were great with my treatment but have now have signed me off unless I have a 3rd and even then I’m not sure what happens

I’m so glad your tests came back normal. It’s like a catch 22 as you want everything to be okay, but also if there is a reason you want to know and be able to fix things so you don’t have a to keep going through this. I hope your genetic testing comes back all clear and quickly

I hope you are recovering okay, sending lots of love and if/when you’re ready for it baby dust✨
xx

@Steffi12 thank you - I'm recovering as well as could be expected. I'm taking some time off work, which was definitely the right decision.

So after my third I spoke directly to the EPU and they did all the blood tests there which was nice to not have to wait and try to get an appointment through the GP.

You're so right about a catch 22 - not having issues should be reassuring but it's so frustrating not having anything to fix! Just feels so out of control.

I really hope the next one sticks for you and you don't end up having to do more tests etc. look after yourself xx

@moosey89 I’m glad your recovering as well as can be expected and definitely right with taking time off work, I hope you are able to take all the time you need❤️

Thats reassuring about the EPU taking action straight away as just waiting for my GP appointment now feels forever! I’m not even sure when my appointment will be my doctors have an online system and I received an email back saying someone will be in contact on the 25th of June. Not sure if that’s a phone consult or to arrange an appointment or what🤷🏻‍♀️

And totally feel your pain with the frustration! I’m the type of person who needs plans and structure and all the uncertainty of what is happening and why is awful! Like you say feels like you’re out of control and it’s a horrible feeling

Thank you so much and I wish the same for you❤️
Please be kind with yourself and also sending sticky vibes xx

@Steffi12
Can I ask if you have managed to conceive your double rainbow?

I’ve just had my second loss, very similar time frames to you. First loss was March 24, followed by April 25. It’s hard to have hope right now.

@Hopingforrainbow2025
Hi there,
Firstly I am so sorry you’re going through this. It’s absolutely heartbreaking.
Im sorry to say I haven’t, I’ve just been through my fifth loss 😓
I really wish I had more hope and advice but it’s so difficult and the NHS are so slow to act, the rule of three is so wrong.
I have been in the miscarriage clinic since the third loss and did have progesterone for our fourth loss which sadly didn’t help.
I have had the basic blood panels and have been told to take 75mg asprin and progesterone again from a positive test. I did this with this latest pregnancy but sadly my tests weren’t progressing so I had hcg bloods and my levels were dropping indicating a chemical pregnancy. so medication was stopped and the loss followed.

We actually have our first NHS IVF an appointment tomorrow too, so trying to remain hopeful for some answers and a plan as I’m still none the wiser as to why it keeps happening 😓

Again I’m so sorry for your losses and so sorry I can’t offer any hope. If you have any questions though I’m more than happy to answer❤️
I hope your physically healing okay, be kind to yourself 💐x

@Steffi12
Sorry for the delay I haven’t logged on in a while. I am so sorry to hear you have experience so much loss. I feel like the support and testing is just too slow. My GP said they will explore referring to Coventry as had 2 losses but they aren’t hopeful and they haven’t even put it all in 2 months later!

I feel like I will end up going private but I know it’s hard to see ahead and work out how much money I may need to explore why it happened.

im glad you have your IVF app. Can I ask if you had to appeal to get accepted?
As I understand every pregnancy sets us back so they said they can’t refer me now as I got pregnant. Currently feel like I’ve fallen into a gap where no help exists. Only way forward is hope my luck turns around or have 3rd loss and then get referred.

@Hopingforrainbow2025
Hey. I’m so so sorry it’s taken me so long to get back to you. I haven’t been well and things have just been a bit chaotic!
thank you for your kind words❤️

I really do feel your same frustration. After my second I tried to get help via my GP and I asked to be referred to Tommys but they outright refused. It’s really upsetting how they just expect you to potentially continue going through losses, it’s so physically and emotionally painful.

I am still concerned it is to do with me and so even though I am grateful and trying to keep hope for the IVF, I’m also worried that they could put the most perfect baby in there but it won’t take as that isnt the underlying issue. So I too have explored going to Coventry recently as I have heard such good things about their implantation clinic. I’ve been told they aren’t taking on any new patients currently so have been put on a waiting this. The treatment there we would also need to fund ourselves.

I live in North Wales and have been referred to the Shrewsbury IVF clinic. In my area they don’t set anything back for if you have been pregnant. I am really lucky and I’m so sorry it’s like that for you in your area. It makes me so mad how much of a postcode lottery it is!

I hope you are doing okay. All losses are hard in their own ways but I remember feeling so helpless after my second as like you say no one really wants to help unless you have a third and even then everything is so slow

I really wish I had more answers and better news for you. I hope we both get our rainbows soon✨ xxx

@Steffi12
sorry for the delay responding. I know what you mean about IVF, it’s a gamble thinking will you do all of that and still the loss will happen. For me I have low AMH so know IVF would be expensive and may result in low numbers which mentally I would be thinking are they abnormal etc but it’s also a good back up option if i do feel like all else has been tried. I am herefordshire based and our policy is must have been trying for 12 months so losses do affect it. Also my AMH is too low so they will reject me so private would be the way.

i have sadly had a third loss confirmed today. I felt lucky to have fallen again but lost them at the exact point lost my second which feels more than ‘bad luck’ to me now so just looking into what tests I might have.

Hey @Hopingforrainbow2025

I’m so so sorry you’ve had your third loss, I hope you are recovering as well as you can be physically and taking lots of time for yourself ❤️

Im also so sorry in your area the regulations are different and want you to have had no pregnancies for 12months to qualify, that’s crazy and so unfair.
I can totally understand why you want to keep your heart guarded, losses and TTC so so emotionally draining. I’m so new to the IVF process and have had my AMH bloods taken but no result yet. From research I have done on AMH, you could have a low count but high quality eggs, and people who have a high AMH could have lots of eggs but they are poor quality. So I hope you don’t feel too disheartened, it only takes one ❤️

I hope you holding up okay, be kind to yourself ❤️ xx

@Steffi12

I came back on Mumsnet today after a long time. I am so sorry for never seeing your response. Think I was just in the thick of it around then and ended up needing surgery for that loss after retained tissue in September. I did find out my loss was due to Down syndrome and it was a girl which is hard. Only back in the ttc club now after tests.

I wondered how you are and if you are continuing TTC?