I have just experienced my 2nd MMC in a year. Both times I spent hours trawling the Mumsnet threads for other's stories to either ease my concerns, fell less alone in my experience or simply find out if what I was experiencing was normal. I feel that now is a good time for me to give something back. Whilst I am fresh out of an 'expectant' natural miscarriage, I wanted to write about my experiences. I know that each person's experience is different but this shared trauma should be spoken about more openly so we don't feel quite as alone.
My 1st MMC I chose Surgical Management under GA, the 2nd I chose Expectant Management so I will write about both of these. Neither is pleasant but I would say both has it's own benefits so is completely dependant on personal preference when making a decision about how to 'manage' a MMC.
1st MMC was found at an early scan when I thought I was 10 weeks but was measuring 6 weeks but no heartbeat detected. I was told to return after 1 week for a rescan to see if there had been development. There hadn't been any growth in the 2nd scan so I was given the usual options to choose from. I had had no spotting, pain or indication that anything was wrong. In hindsight, the only thing that could have been an indication that something was wrong was that my pregnancy symptoms had subsided from 6 weeks but I thought I was just 'lucky' and it was an easy pregnancy. I chose surgical management as I had had an abortion many years before and I knew the downtime was quick, bleeding after minimal and I thought I would be in and out of hospital quite quickly. I had booked the surgery for about 3 weeks later and in that time I had minimal spotting and no indication that my body was going to deal with the miscarriage naturally. I was so frustrated with my body at the time as I felt like it wasn't doing what it was supposed to- it didn't maintain the pregnancy and it didn't get rid of it either. We were told that the surgery should only take 15 minutes, I would be in and out by lunchtime and home not long after. My surgery was delayed due to an emergency which wasn't an issue but did mean I went into surgery later than expected. I went down for surgery and woke up in the recovery room nearly 2 hours later. They brought my partner through to be with me there (which is not normally allowed) but I had woken from the GA sobbing uncontrollably so I think they felt sorry for me. The surgery had been difficult with possible retained product and some signs of infection. As a result I was put on a drip of Oxytocin which took 4 hours to administer. In this time I was treated beautifully by the staff on the ward. However, I had lost a lot of blood and must have been dehydrated as I was unable to wee in order to go home. I think we got home around 9pm that night. So it wasn't quite the 'In and Out' experience I had hoped for! Saying that, over the next few days, I had minimal pain or bleeding, although that did not stop completely for at least 2 weeks. As the procedure had been difficult, I had to return after 1 week for a scan to check there were no retained products (there were not). I went on to do a pregnancy test 2 weeks after surgery and this came back negative. My cycle came back exactly 4 weeks after the surgery. I was in no rush to start trying again but was glad that my cycle had come back as regular as before. The only few things I would comment on after surgical management was I went to the gym 1 week later (I felt fine in myself but perhaps should have given myself more time to rest) and had a funny turn - I nearly passed out and had to lay down in the middle of the gym for about 20 minutes. I realise now that this was probably due to the blood loss and anaesthetic from the surgery. Also, my periods were heavier in the months after surgery. I am not sure if this is related to the pregnancy, hormones or the surgery.
My 2nd MMC has been slightly different to the first. I found out I was pregnant in April, a day after my period was due. About a week later I started getting some spotting. This was light so I didn't speak to anyone until it had been happening for 5 days. I had to be referred by my GP to the local EPAU. I was checked at the EPAU, had a blood test and a scan booked for the next day. My blood test HCG came back good and in line with my dates. However, I thought I was 6 weeks by this point but my scan was too early to see anything really apart from the sac and pole. I went back 2 weeks later and whilst there had been some development, I was still measuring behind at now 6 weeks with no HB. I therefore had to go back again a week later to see if there had been development. Past experience had taught me that this was not a good sign so I of course expected the worst. But it was difficult to see development and not hold on to a little bit of hope. The 3rd scan showed what can only be described as reverse development. There was less to see than the previous scan. I was told it was as if my body was already breaking down the foetus / reabsorbing it. Again I was given information about all of my options for management but I already knew I did not want to go down the surgical route again. I only found out after the surgery that there is a risk of scarring which I didn't want to increase by having another surgical procedure (this would have been my 3rd in theory). I chose expectant management as it seemed the most natural / non-invasive. I was told I could wait 3 weeks before having to speak with the EPAU again to talk about alternative methods of management. I figured at least if I waited the 3 weeks and then took the medication needed, then my pregnancy hormones will have dropped hopefully and so it won't be so much of a shock to the system. I had read some horrible stories about the medical management and whilst I knew neither option would be pretty, I hoped that waiting might make it slightly easier. 1 and a half weeks went by and I had no spotting, pain or sign that things would happen naturally. Then I had what can only be described as pre-period signs - bloating, poor mood, very light spotting. This lasted 2 days. Eventually the spotting increased to bleeding. I would say this transition from spotting to bleeding happened quite quickly, within a few hours. I was getting some belly pain but it was very manageable and would come and go. Once the bleeding started I knew then that things were happening naturally and I was relieved and felt like I could just go with it to allow my body to do what it needed to. For about 6 hours, the bleeding and pain was that of a normal period for me, perhaps slightly worst than normal but again, still manageable. I went to bed and things progressed super quick. I spent the first hour in bed with increasing pain that went around my lower back, tummy and thighs. I filled a whole night pad in that hour. I managed to get back to sleep for 2 hours and woke to another full pad and worsening pain. I would say that the pain came in waves, I guess like contractions. I had to get out of bed and the only thing that seemed to help was moving - pacing and swaying. I continued to bleed heavily with the increasing pain for another 2 hours. I'd passed clots but I didn't inspect them. I then took some paracetamol and managed to fall asleep for another couple of hours. By the time I woke up the bleeding had subsided to that of just a heavy period and the pain had seemed to disappear. I carried on bleeding the next day but again, no more than a heavy period. I did get some intermittent pains but this seemed to coincide with more clots being passed. I am now 2 days after the bleeding started and whilst I am still bleeding, I know this is normal and expected for up to 2 weeks after. I am still getting intermittent pains but no worst than a heavy period. I don't know yet if this is normal. If it's still related to tissue that needs to pass or just my uterus contracting back to normal. I would say that the experience itself was somewhat traumatic - the blood and the pain were probably more than I expected. However, it is the most in control I have felt under the circumstances. I finally felt like my body was doing what it was supposed to do. And I think I handled it pretty well. I feel that the natural miscarriage has given me more closure than the surgery did as 1, I was obviously awake for the experience and I witnessed it all and 2, it's restored some trust in my body. I guess now it's just a case of waiting for things to hopefully return to normal. Hopefully the bleeding will stop in 2 weeks as expected and the pregnancy test at that point will come back negative.
I know this thread is long so thank you if you made it this far! I have tried to include as much detail as I can of my differing experiences. Whilst I feel like there is a lot more I could say on the topics, I hope this helps someone in the way many threads have helped me at this time. I would like to add that my online ear is open to anyone that might be going through this and has questions that I might be able to answer. Whilst this can be the most isolating experience we have to go through, it doesn't mean we should go through it alone.
<3