Worried about future after Early Miscarriage

[RoseHiker]

Hi All
I had my first and only miscarriage (6 weeks) in November 2023.

We have been trying since and I have not falling pregnant.

I have time as I am only 34 but husband is 38. He already has a daughter so has done the baby stuff already.

I feel he doesnt mind if it doesnt happen for us.

I feel pressure to get pregnant as soon as possible as he is hitting 40 in 2 years time.

We dont want to be in our 60s with teenagers.

Part of me thinks will we just enjoy our lives and travel as much as possible.

I feel such pressure from society and all our friends have kids or trying/pregnant.I wasnt sure about having a baby until I got pregnant and it is only now I am over the miscarriage. It floored me and I was very upset.

Should I just accept kids might not be on the cards for us or keep going?

Sorry for long post.

Hi OP, I was in a similar situation to you back in July - 3.5 years TTC with no success to then have an early miscarriage 5 weeks in. Then got pregnant again in November (currently 24 weeks pregnant).

I took hope from the first miscarriage that I could get pregnant, which is something I'd lost hope in.

If it makes you feel any better, my dad was 42 when I was born and seemed to have plenty of energy!

Try not to put too much pressure on yourself, chances are that it will work out for you ultimately (easier said than done though!) 💐

Thanks so much for the reply.

Congratulations on your pregnancy.

My husband too like your dad is very energetic and loves kids.

Sometimes I think he says he doesnt mind to protect my feelings. Started ttc Jan 2023. Problems then arose with my thyroid and was told to stop from may to july. Started again in Aug 2023 and fell pregnant in Oct 2023.

Nothing since.

I am trying not to put pressure on myself and enjoy the other things in life but its hard seeing babies everywhere:)

I’m sorry, a miscarriage is a terrible thing to go through. I would take time to heal and then try again, there’s no reason why you shouldn’t get pregnant again. If it is of any help, I had my first miscarriage at 40 and I got pregnant again immediately, I’m now 18 weeks.

Are you timing it right? I used to use ovulation predictor tests. I found it took the pressure off as we timed it after they gave the go ahead but could then relax the rest of the month and just do it when we felt like it.

OP if you managed to get pregnant once out of 8 attempts (Jan-April + Aug - Oct) then I'd say your fertility is probably not likely to be an issue! For couples actively trying to conceive, up to 12 months with sex during the ovulation window is still within the realm of normal.

It is super hard seeing babies everywhere though, it seemed like all my colleagues got pregnant before I did and it was hard to not look jealously at their bumps as they walked past my desk!

Thanks all for your replies. @Cinai congratulations on your pregnancy.
@Fernhurst I have tried the ovualtion tests before but found i got stressed using them?
I got pregnant by having intercourse every 2 to 3 days.
@CaribouCarafe I get what you mean. All my friends talk about is baby stuff snd I have nothing to add as not at that stage of my life yet.

It took us longer to conceive after a MC, your body can need time to adjust. I really wouldn’t put pressure on thinking about being a certain age.