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Miscarriage/pregnancy loss

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Waiting to miscarry naturally- handhold

12 replies

Hopefooll · 10/04/2024 12:18

Hi all, I am going through a miscarriage for a much wanted baby. Found out yesterday that baby had stopped growing at 6wks6days and I am 11 weeks and was due to go for my 12week scan on Friday. I am heartbroken, shocked and absolutely devastated. I had a tmfr last year at 16weeks and I was really worrying about all the tests coming back clear but didn’t think for one second about the possibility of miscarriage before getting to the stage of the tests!
which seems silly now because I’m older and I know the risk of miscarriage is higher with age.
I am now at home waiting for the miscarriage to happen naturally. I’ve had slight bleeding which quickly tapered off but nothing. I’ve read that it could take a few weeks.. I can’t even imagine that but after a medical termination last year I am keen to avoid medical intervention if possible.
For those of you who opted for the natural option, how did you cope? Any tips for how you coped with the grief would be great. I feel like I am never going to be happy again! I’m not sure if we will try again and given what has happened with the last 2 pregnancies my hope is depeleted.

OP posts:
H20202 · 10/04/2024 12:30

Can’t give you any advice but in exactly the same position. Just waiting at home for it to start back up after bleeding stopped at the weekend. Baby had passed at 6w and found out at 8+2 I’m so so sorry for your losses and hope this resolves as quickly as possible for you xx hand hold xx

TellySavalashairbrush · 10/04/2024 12:38

Very sorry for your loss. I suffered 2 mmc years ago and my advice would be plenty of paracetamol close to hand, hot water bottles, your favourite food/snacks and drinks at your disposal and rest when required. It is good to have a partner/family member/good friend on call should you need extra support. As for the emotional side of things, that's obviously different for everyone. I was very very low for a good few months and all you can do is deal with things one day at a time until you are feeling a little more positive. My best wishes to all posters currently in this situation.

Bigcatss · 10/04/2024 12:47

I had the exact same some years ago.
Baby stopped growing at week 6 and I didn’t found out until week 11 and half when I had some mild brown spotting which I was told it’s normal.
I had scan and they told me that, I was to go for my 12 week scan in few days.
They told me to wait for the natural miscarriage which started few days later and turned into a major drama as I started bleeding so heavily with inmaginable cramps, so I had to be carried to hospital as the bleed was so heavy that I couldn’t leave toilet for hours, even when they carried me a blood trail was behind us as blood leaked everywhere..
Also I had to have operation days later as not all would come out.
It was truly shocking experience sadly.

StMarieforme · 10/04/2024 13:42

I had this same situation 25 years ago OP. To you and all others suffering this way- we hear you and are silently with you holding your hands, as there are this of us who've been through the same 💐

Hopefooll · 10/04/2024 18:53

Thank you so much everyone, grateful for the handholds. It’s such a tough thing to go through and time seems to stand still. Sending hugs and handholds to all of you. Hope it passes soon for all of us going through it just now💐

OP posts:
whenthelightsgoout123456 · 10/04/2024 19:29

I'm so sorry, it's really tough. I lost 4 babies, I have 3 rainbows to give you some hope. Sending a hand hold too FlowersFlowersFlowers

H20202 · 15/04/2024 09:14

@Hopefooll how are you getting on OP xx

nearly8 · 21/04/2024 21:45

@Hopefooll only just seen your thread. Hoping everything is over now so you can start the rocky process of grieving and TTC again if that is your aim. Sending you a hug 🤗

Hopefooll · 22/04/2024 17:51

Hello all, thank so you much for the handholds💐🙏🏾 much needed.
Unfortunately I am still waiting to miscarry naturally. The last week has been the longest week of my life just waiting. The emotional toll on me has been awful with my moods all over the place. Feeling okay one minute but 1 second from crying. Going to the loo and hoping it’s all starting but nothing except a bit of bleeding that has now just stopped. And the worst thing is I missed a really important work conference away thinking I would miscarry there if I went. But of course nothing happened. That said I don’t think I would have been able to cope emotionally with 3 long days of work pretending everything was normal. Walking around knowing I’m still technically pregnant but with a dead foetus has been heartbreaking. It feels like I’m in a warped dream and I keeping hoping I’m going wake and be still pregnant normally and having my baby.
Hubby has there as he mostly works from home and it’s been hard for him too. Like how long is a piece of string really!
Anyway I’ve decided if nothing happens by the end of this week I will call EPAU and look at my options again. I cant bare being in limbo much longer and not been able to move on.
Sorry for the rant. Sending a love and a handhold to anyone who is going through this and anyone who has in the past💐💐

OP posts:
LF1011 · 23/04/2024 17:04

My heart really goes out to you. I miscarried 7 weeks ago when I was 12 weeks +5 days. I started spotting for a day then bleeding increased and continued for 2 days until we had our 12 week scan where we were told that our baby had no heartbeat and I was told that the miscarriage had already started so I opted for expectant management to let it pass naturally which was recommended by the hospital. When I left the hospital, my cramps started getting quite heavy and a few hours later, the main event happened where I couldn't get off the toilet for over an hour, severe cramps and passing lots of tissue, clots and blood. I don't think anyone can prepare you for what happens in all honesty. I felt a lot better after this but for around 5 day after, I had continuous bleeding but also had random spells of severe cramps, extremely heavy bleeding, passing clots and tissue.

Unfortunately, my process still hasn't ended. I've bled continuously for 7 weeks. I even went to hospital 2 weeks ago for a scan where they confirmed I had retained product, so I opted for medical management which doesn't seem to have worked as I didn't have the severe cramps or heavy bleeding that the hospital said I'd have and didn't pass any tissue, and I'm still bleeding to date.

In fact, for the past 3 days, my bleeding has been extremely heavy which I'm now thinking could be a period but contacted the EPU just to be sure and they have booked me in for another scan!

This post isn't to scare you and do remember that everyone is different so I hope you don't have the same experience as me, but Mumsnet is a great support network and helps you to understand that you're not alone. There are so many success stories following miscarriage so I'm sure all will be ok, it's hard to see the positives when you're down but you will be fine, just give yourself time to heal and grieve. Crying is a healer in my book!

The advice I could give you is to stock up on paracetamol, keep your pads next to the loo, cry, talk about it and rest! ❤

Moonshine5 · 23/04/2024 17:06

I'm so sorry. I hope you're okay 💓

Hopefooll · 25/04/2024 22:09

Thank you for your kindness, it’s much appreciated and it makes a huge difference. So sorry to hear what happened to you@LF1011, sending much love. Sounds like you may possibly have retained products? Hopefully the scan will be able to see if anything and they can then do something to stop the bleeding.

Update from me, I got tired of waiting and wasn’t coping so well so I booked myself in for an MVA. I had that this morning and am home recovering. The process itself wasn’t too bad and the pain was minimal except for the bit where they inject the local anaesthetic. I still have some pain but managing with painkillers.
Its been such draining journey and I think it will take me sometime to process everything.
Thank you everyone for being so kind to me.💐

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