Almost 3 months post loss.. Pathology JUST came back. Feeling upset and need some support...

[5UBLIME]

I had a 6 week post op last month, the OB said the D&C procedure went well and my betas dropped beautifully after two weeks. I asked if I needed further blood work, she said no and I should expect my period any time. I did end up getting a period post-op which seemed as normal as it could be.

The OB said the hospital was backed up on pathology, but not to worry as usually the findings are inconclusive and consistent with a miscarriage (the reason is usually unknown). She asked if I was taking prenatal vitamins, encouraging me to try again. I was told to wait one cycle after the D&C.

The receptionist for the OB said something like, the pathology came back.. there's something to worry about.. but don't worry TOO much. They mentioned monitoring something, following up with the OB this week via phone call. They said to refrain from unprotected sex until the appointment and said I should take a pregnancy test. Needless to say, I am horrified.

My vacation was re-connective emotionally with my partner and my own body. I disassociated through most of the miscarriage; the ultrasound that showed no heart rate at 9 weeks (after a slow heart rate detected at 6 weeks). There is a shortage of ultrasound techs, so I waited until 9 weeks when they told me the baby stopped developing.

I had COVID just after the D&C (my partner is a nurse and their work had an outbreak) and I had a sinus infection after that. For the first time in a long time, I was just happy for my health to be on the mend. We decided we would try again for a baby but I wouldn't track my cycle or place too much stress on it. In the last week, we had unprotected sex while on vacation. 

I thought pathology was a formality, the OB was so reassuring at the post-op appointment. My labs were fine, HCG dropped, I had a period, my ultrasounds never indicated anything other than a loss. Everyone medically (the OB, nurses, my family physician, etc.) encouraged me to try again when I was ready. I never would have had unprotected sex if I knew I shouldn't. I'm scared of a potential pregnancy without knowing the full situation. The OB is supposed to call tomorrow.

That said, I googled random stuff and I'm just worried sick it's something... really bad. I'm worried it was a molar pregnancy as they mentioned checking the HCG. The voicemail was the worst thing to come home to. I'm thankful I didn't receive the call before my trip, or have cell service during. I was only away for one week. I listened to the voicemail at the airport and cried the whole way home.

Any advice for how to handle the news? I want to prepare myself for the worst, my partner is optimistic it might not be so bad. I just don't know if I can handle something bad again. I feel on the verge of a breakdown.

[Eloraa]

I have no medical advice, sorry.

But what a horrific thing to come home to. If I were you I’d be flagging the message you were left to PALS, because it’s an awful way to communicate.

[HesDeadBenYouCanStopNow]

Sorry for you loss, it's so hard dealing with the loss of hopes and dreams for your pregnancy

After losing a baby to Edwards Syndrome (trisomy 18) which is one of the defects that often causes miscarriages, my husband and I were offered tests to confirm that it wasn't due to our gene's, but just an anomaly at conception. Almost all birth defects of this type are not hereditary but they still checked before we tried again.

I hope it is something as simple as that, I went on to have 2 healthy children and continue to remember my first child always

[5UBLIME]

@Eloraa

I have no medical advice, sorry.

But what a horrific thing to come home to. If I were you I’d be flagging the message you were left to PALS, because it’s an awful way to communicate.

I'm not sure what PALS is? Thanks for your advice.

[5UBLIME]

@HesDeadBenYouCanStopNow

Sorry for you loss, it's so hard dealing with the loss of hopes and dreams for your pregnancy

After losing a baby to Edwards Syndrome (trisomy 18) which is one of the defects that often causes miscarriages, my husband and I were offered tests to confirm that it wasn't due to our gene's, but just an anomaly at conception. Almost all birth defects of this type are not hereditary but they still checked before we tried again.

I hope it is something as simple as that, I went on to have 2 healthy children and continue to remember my first child always

Thanks for sharing! This was my first pregnancy and my first attempt to get pregnant, so it was also my first miscarriage. I'm not familiar with the process at all. I appreciate you sharing your story, I still want to try for a family.

[HesDeadBenYouCanStopNow]

One awful fact I was told by the doctors was that miscarriage is far more common than we think, as people often don't speak of it. It is more normal to have had one in your life time than not to.

Having had a miscarriage shouldn't negatively impact on your ability to have children 😊 in fact you've proven that you can conceive which is good news.

I've chosen always to talk about our loss as it seemed to help others as they go through such an awful time to understand that they are not alone. It can be such a lonely time

I took a decision not to hide my next pregnancy and to share with the family members that I would want to lean on if something awful happened straight away which I think helps

[5UBLIME]

@HesDeadBenYouCanStopNow

One awful fact I was told by the doctors was that miscarriage is far more common than we think, as people often don't speak of it. It is more normal to have had one in your life time than not to.

Having had a miscarriage shouldn't negatively impact on your ability to have children 😊 in fact you've proven that you can conceive which is good news.

I've chosen always to talk about our loss as it seemed to help others as they go through such an awful time to understand that they are not alone. It can be such a lonely time

I took a decision not to hide my next pregnancy and to share with the family members that I would want to lean on if something awful happened straight away which I think helps

Thanks. Hearing stories has normalized the experience a bit. I connected with a peer facilitator through the hospital as well, who shared their story. I will keep a future pregnancy to myself I think.