Currently having a mmc. What shall I expect?

[RWSS]

Hi guys. This is my second pregnancy, second miscarriage. The first was CP. I got pregnant 3 months after that. Have had such a hard time throughout this pregnancy. On Monday, I went for a private scan as I was spotting, and they said baby hasn't grown and no heartbeat. Due to the threat of me having an ectopic (I'm high risk, stage 4 endo) I had a scan at 6 + 1 weeks where I saw baby and heartbeat. Baby literally stopped growing after that scan. I had epu confirm today my mmc. They gave me option of surgery or medical management. I chose medical management, will have to wait till next weekend to get it started.
I have started spotting again, does that happen when it starts? Will I be naturally pass my baby before next week? How does it work?

Emotionally I have been all over the place. Today better but still gutted. Doesn't help that my sack has grown since Monday but baby is no longer.
I have read that alot of people lose their baby right after a scan, can there be a link?

I honestly don't know what to expect. I had such a hard time with this pregnancy that I know I'll be crazy when I fall pregnant again.

I'm scared I'm gonna keep having miscarriages. I don't know how ill cope. These 2 have broken me.

I guess I just need positive stories or reassurance that it will be ok. 💔

[ThelastRolo20]

Hey, I'm so sorry for what you're going through. I've had two back to back missed miscarriages (one at 12 weeks, one at 10 weeks but baby never got going that time).

It's so important you realise that it's nothing you've done, the scan won't have caused it - unfortunately 6-8 weeks is prime miscarriage time and quite often baby shrinks a bit after passing so they may have carried on for a few days post scan ❤️ there's no chance they'd offer scans if there was even the tiniest hint they caused miscarriages.

You may well pass naturally, you'll get stories here of where it's happened for some, and others where they've still needed medical assistance, unfortunately it's so case by case no one can really tell you what's going to happen. I had one MC naturally, and one via surgery. Both were fine recovery wise.

I also know my next pregnancy will be fraught with worry so I understand, and you aren't alone, which can absolutely feel the case at the time x

[LER2023]

Sorry to hear about this, its such an awful time.

When i had my first natual miscarriage, i started spotting on 24/12/2022.
I then started bleeding fully and really badly on 28/12/2022, went for a scan at EPU where they had confirmed baby was coming away and i was starting to lose the sack, i was bleeding for 6 weeks losing the baby, the heavy bleeding had lasted another week and was 100% confirmed on 05/01/2023 that the miscarriage had almost finished but i needed a bit of a push to complete it so had to opt for medical management.

My second miscarriage was 03/08/2023 after finding out at the end of June.
I started spotting and i instantly went to the EPU and was told baby wasnt growing quick enough for their liking and was looking to be another miscarriage.
I was 5+3 on the 26th of July and was then 5+6 on 03/08/2023, so had to be terminated before anything started properly as i said the first miscarriage was very painful, i was doubled over in agony with each small contraction that ususlly people say is like period pains. I can handle period pains, i can handle toothache and thats probably worse pain for anyone to have, yet i couldnt handle the first miscarriage, i was terrible.

Im now pregnant again as of 06/02/2024 with our rainbow baby, or our special baby that we like to call it.

We've passed a milestone and managed to get to nearly 10 weeks! I havent had a scan just yet or seen the midwife.
Both my miscarriages happened after my midwife appointments. So shes just a bad omen🤣

But im feeling very different this time compared to my other pregnancies that never got past 8 and a half weeks (LMP time) we're now hitting 10 weeks and im due to have a private scan soon! Ive not had any bleeding, just pure symptoms.

Its so hard to think about having another, having the worry in your head about the next one.

They say miscarriages arent common.. because nobody talks about them! Its just such a taboo subject, but theyre more common than you'd think.

You will have your special baby, your rainbow baby and when you do you'll be scared, im not saying it isnt a scary experience, but with the amount of support in your personal life and amount of support people give you on MN is what helps you plod along. Theres a thread, which is i believe support after a previous loss, its an incredibly supportive thread, we have all had losses and we just talk about the worries and what we're currently going through whether its a loss or a current pregnancy, its a support thread, i recommend looking into support threads to help you. Speak to family and friends about whats happened, dont keep it bottled up. Its hard to talk about, but they were still your babies, its still a loss and something that you need to keep talking about to keep those babies alive in your memory.

Sending you so much love and many MN hugs. If you ever need a chat you can private message me and i'll try to get back to you when i can.

Everything will be okay and you will be okay. It just takes time and support, im sorry again OP❤️💐 x

[RWSS]

@ThelastRolo20

Hey, I'm so sorry for what you're going through. I've had two back to back missed miscarriages (one at 12 weeks, one at 10 weeks but baby never got going that time).

It's so important you realise that it's nothing you've done, the scan won't have caused it - unfortunately 6-8 weeks is prime miscarriage time and quite often baby shrinks a bit after passing so they may have carried on for a few days post scan ❤️ there's no chance they'd offer scans if there was even the tiniest hint they caused miscarriages.

You may well pass naturally, you'll get stories here of where it's happened for some, and others where they've still needed medical assistance, unfortunately it's so case by case no one can really tell you what's going to happen. I had one MC naturally, and one via surgery. Both were fine recovery wise.

I also know my next pregnancy will be fraught with worry so I understand, and you aren't alone, which can absolutely feel the case at the time x

I've opted to medically manage at the hospital as I want to be able to have pain medication available. My sister had a mmc and opted for it to naturally happen, she ended up losing too much blood and stopped breathing. She needed blood transfusion and a hospital stay. I'm worried that similar would happen.

How did you grieve over your mmc? I haven't started that process yet. Just want this bit to be over.
❤️❤️

[RWSS]

@LER2023

Sorry to hear about this, its such an awful time.

When i had my first natual miscarriage, i started spotting on 24/12/2022.
I then started bleeding fully and really badly on 28/12/2022, went for a scan at EPU where they had confirmed baby was coming away and i was starting to lose the sack, i was bleeding for 6 weeks losing the baby, the heavy bleeding had lasted another week and was 100% confirmed on 05/01/2023 that the miscarriage had almost finished but i needed a bit of a push to complete it so had to opt for medical management.

My second miscarriage was 03/08/2023 after finding out at the end of June.
I started spotting and i instantly went to the EPU and was told baby wasnt growing quick enough for their liking and was looking to be another miscarriage.
I was 5+3 on the 26th of July and was then 5+6 on 03/08/2023, so had to be terminated before anything started properly as i said the first miscarriage was very painful, i was doubled over in agony with each small contraction that ususlly people say is like period pains. I can handle period pains, i can handle toothache and thats probably worse pain for anyone to have, yet i couldnt handle the first miscarriage, i was terrible.

Im now pregnant again as of 06/02/2024 with our rainbow baby, or our special baby that we like to call it.

We've passed a milestone and managed to get to nearly 10 weeks! I havent had a scan just yet or seen the midwife.
Both my miscarriages happened after my midwife appointments. So shes just a bad omen🤣

But im feeling very different this time compared to my other pregnancies that never got past 8 and a half weeks (LMP time) we're now hitting 10 weeks and im due to have a private scan soon! Ive not had any bleeding, just pure symptoms.

Its so hard to think about having another, having the worry in your head about the next one.

They say miscarriages arent common.. because nobody talks about them! Its just such a taboo subject, but theyre more common than you'd think.

You will have your special baby, your rainbow baby and when you do you'll be scared, im not saying it isnt a scary experience, but with the amount of support in your personal life and amount of support people give you on MN is what helps you plod along. Theres a thread, which is i believe support after a previous loss, its an incredibly supportive thread, we have all had losses and we just talk about the worries and what we're currently going through whether its a loss or a current pregnancy, its a support thread, i recommend looking into support threads to help you. Speak to family and friends about whats happened, dont keep it bottled up. Its hard to talk about, but they were still your babies, its still a loss and something that you need to keep talking about to keep those babies alive in your memory.

Sending you so much love and many MN hugs. If you ever need a chat you can private message me and i'll try to get back to you when i can.

Everything will be okay and you will be okay. It just takes time and support, im sorry again OP❤️💐 x

Aww I found out I was pregnant on the 4/2/24. I pray you have a healthy pregnancy and healthy baby 🙏

Thank you for your kind words. My husband has been my rock. He's kept me level.

I have 2 heaven babies. I am awaiting my earth baby now.

Pray I get my rainbow baby ❤️❤️

[ThelastRolo20]

@RWSS oh your poor sister, that sounds tough. Every option has pros and cons so which ever works best for you mentally is absolutely the right option. My first MC I'd chosen surgery but just happened to miscarry naturally beforehand!

It's a tough road, I won't lie. I think actually accepting it as grief helps, I think initially I underestimated the enormity of what I was going through. It's been hard as I have pregnant friends too. Your hormones will fluctuate after the MC so that may make you feel rubbish at times. Quite often it's just about getting through each hour, then each day, and over time you learn how to move forward.

I found having a plan helped me in terms of what our next move is. Which is to not try until after our April holiday - I need a wine in the sun ☀️ the boards here are full of women who get it, I found talking to women who truly understood the best thing. Utilise Tommy's and the miscarriage association too xx

[tulipsunday]

@RWSS so sorry for your losses. I have had two 'naturally managed' miscarriages and both were fine - not too painful and blood loss wasn't excessive - hopefully some reassurance if you end up having them at home before the hospital.

I have had two healthy pregnancies as well and even after two miscarriages your odds to have a healthy pregnancy are still good. All the best xx

[RWSS]

Just a quick update:
My body managed to get rid (oh how I hate saying that about my baby) without any medication or surgery. It wasn't nearly as painful, nor was it a lot of bleeding.
I'm so glad it passed quickly. I'm due for a scan on Thursday to make sure all is clear. If not, then medication on sat. I'm praying I'm over this hurdle.

I did take a pregnancy test yesterday, was bittersweet as the line was nearly gone. Felt sad all day as normally im chasing the line, but now I'm hoping it goes.

I've had a cp and an mmc, so I'm praying my next pregnancy will be my 🌈.

Any tips on what to do differently to avoid a miscarriage?

Emotionally I'm up and down but I feel like I wanna try again as soon as I can.

❤️