Medical miscarriage partner gone to work

[Blondewave]

So I took the second dose of misoprostol last night for medical management of miscarriage. Took it at 1630 and by 17pm the cramps were intense…I was still in car on way back from hospital.

My partner couldn’t really look after me as we have a 12 month old who has a horrible virus and not feeling well at all so he focused on him. He got him into bed however and most of the pregnancy, worst of the pain was over that night and he was supportive. Even checked what was in the toilet for the pregnancy sack etc and was supportive as he had nothing else to do (I.e no work, baby was asleep) he did make one work call in night but it wasn’t long. He works in the US so they have weird hours.

I was still in a lot of pain at 11pm but was EXHAUSTED so I drifted off to sleep at some point. In the morning my partner woke me about 6.30 as our baby was awake and I held him while he made him a bottle etc. I felt exhausted still and could barely wake up…but my partner told me he needed help as he needed to get showered and ready for work. I looked after our baby as best as I could while he showered then he took him down for breakfast..and said he really needed a hand to get ready to leave as I do it everyday but he doesn’t. So I sat at the kitchen table feeding our baby breakfast but went very very dizzy and told him I couldn’t I need to lay down. I was still bleeding heavily.

Anyway he took our baby to my MIL so I could rest and he’s gone to work at a service station. He says he can’t work from home as he can’t concentrate. He is his own boss. Anyway I can barely move I’m completely exhausted I really want a drink and some food but it’s too much effort.

My partner called asked if I was ok and I said no and he said just get some rest.

Am I unreasonable to be upset that he’s just left me when I’m feeling so poorly still miscarrying? I know work is important but surely he could have worked from home today to make me a drink at least and keep an eye on me. I raised it with him and he said I hate him working and wish he didn’t have a career.

It's a tricky one. Emotions are high.

I'd focus on you for now. Take care.

Hello OP.

I had similar with my exhusband. 2 X eptopic pregnancies and 2 c-sections.

You should be able to call him and say ' hi can you come back? I need emotional and physical support. And he should be able to recognise that you need it - even if you have to point it out and come home.

People are not mind readers but they should listen when their partners are asking for help.

Other wise he just doesnt care.

My ex didnt care.

Ah thank you! He did end up coming back. There was alot of expectation I think on my part. As after my c section I became very unwell on day 3 and he told me I was being dramatic and Judy couldn’t handle the stress of a new baby. I had rigors and was extremely unwell..ended up being admitted to hospital with sepsis. It was only the midwife the recognised I was very unwell on the day 3 check. I was out and about doing everything with the baby despite c section and infection. So I held a lot of resentment about this. Luckily he came back and made me some toast and tea for me and he’s now gone to do a food shop and pick our other children up.

Otherwise he would now be my ex too think 🤣

What you're doing is finding excuses for him. I've done that

After him ignoring how unwell you were last time - he should have - if he genuinley cared about you - watched you like a hawk.

Its not 'a lot of expectation' for a partner to look after their wife when their wife is in pain. Its just something you do when you care about someone. Basic stuff.

I am glad he eventually came back and pulled his weight but remember he is not a hero for doing those tasks - they are just basic things he should be doing anyway.

Take care OP