41 today ... due date of 1st msc looming ..... feeling sad

[minmooch]

Never posted a message on here but need to express my sadness. I have 2 ds from my first marriage (ages 12 and 10) but have just suffered 2 msc with my dh no 2 (1st at 8.5 weeks and 2nd at 12 weeks). Due date of first msc looming in 4 days. Am ttc but nothing happening the last 4 months. 41 today and feeling like my chances are slipping away. My dh does not have any children and desperately wants one. Dh not that good at talking about my feelings, for him each msc was over as soon as I came out of hospital. Just feeling

Hi, I'm sorry for your mc's and that you are feeling sad. I think many men react in this way, you know one week after and it's kind of all over for them . It doesn't mean he doesn't care either about your babies or about you. Perhaps you could try to talk to him about it, in some ways I think it is difficult for many men as they feel less connected to early pregnancy.

Anyway, try to be kind to yourself especially as these important dates come up.

Hey, I'm not surprised you are feeling sad. The due date is a very hard milestone to get past, as well as the date when it actually happened. With TTC too you've got a lot on your plate. I've had 4 mcs in total, so I have a bit of an idea of how you're feeling.

I hope you manage to have a bit of peace and quiet on your due date to light a candle or say a prayer. Sometimes the anticipation of these dates is actually worse than the day itself, I hope this is the case for you.x

On a practical level, is there any chance you could push your gp to get some tests done? I think they usually wait until 3 mcs, but it is always worth a try.

I concieved very easily with my first 2 ds and concieved quickly with both mcs so concerned that it is now taking some time. Feel that I should be grateful for the 2 that I have (obviously I am) but really, really want another with my dh. I know that if you worry/think about it all too much people say it delays things but how can you not worry/think about it?

Perhaps I do need to talk to my gp if only to feel that I am doing something positive. At the moment I feel like I am counting the days for the right time to conceive and then counting the days down to discover if I am pregnant!

Arrgh, I know that 'counting the days' thing, it's a nightmare! And almost impossible to relax as people advise.

COuld you do something like have a massage, even acupuncture or reiki? I had an indian head massage and reiki a couple of times, not particularly to resolve my mc issues but to chill me out a bit and it was lovely to have a bit of peace and quiet for an hour, it really helped to recharge the batteries etc.

Oh, and happy birthday

Thank you

Fortunately my dh bought me a voucher for an aromatherapy massage - will allow myself the time to enjoy it and as you say peace and quiet.

I'm so sorry for your losses. Take some time to feel close to your little ones, You have every right to morn them. I too find my DH doesn't feel it the same.

I'd like to tell you not to worry about conceiving but I know you will anyway. I fell within a few months months of trying with first 2 pregnancies. Lost my first at 20 weeks and have DS 5yrs. I then took 2 yrs to conceive my DS2. I became so obsessed with getting pregnant every month that I realised it was having a bad effect on the rest of the family. I decided to look into studying to try and occupy my mind, applied on a course and the next month I was pregnant! Just conceived again last month after trying 5 months but sadly early miscarriage.

Hang in there. I hope it happens for you soon. x

sorry for your loss....i know you must feel like it's a harder experience because of your age, but i must tell you that i am only 22 years old and it took me 11 months to concieve ds after my last miscarriage, it may probably be your hormones telling you to de stress, and i am not trying to thrust my age at you, just to let you know that i had some problems x hope this re assures you x

Many thanks everyone. I have been reading various threads for the last few months and gained comfort. Seem unable to express myself to friends who have not experienced mc.