First loss at 39

[RememberZen]

I finally met someone I want a child with, I just turned 39 two months ago. I fear I might have left it too late. We started trying and only after six weeks I was pregnant, it was a shock for both of us, our little miracle. I had an early scan at 6 weeks, there was a good, steady heartbeat. We were overjoyed. I was 8+5 on valentine's day, spotting started, bleeding started, cramps started, first came what looked like the sac or placenta, then within an hour or two of unbearable pain, I loss the fetus. I feel so empty today, in every way. We were looking forward to telling everyone the news in three weeks, but we didn't get there. My partner is devastated, he's gone to work to keep busy. I'm still bleeding today, but the pain has eased off. I can't help thinking this might not happen for me now, are there any positive stories from women here of first time mums at 39 and beyond who've had healthy babies? I need a beacon of hope right now, I never knew how much I wanted to be a mom until now, love to all of you who have been through this loss 🙏

I think of the losses as paving the way for the children I had. Hopefully you will experience the same.

Hi

I'm so sorry to hear about your experience.

I had a late miscarriage at 20 weeks at age 24. I realised then that every single child is a such a miracle walking around in the literal sense!

Then I had a healthy pregnancy and have a 2 yo now.

What I'm trying to say that sometimes age has nothing to do with these awful situations. Miscarriages are so common but you must take the positive from all our posts, most with healthy children.

I pray for your little bundle of joy ❤️
Feel the grief of course, but be hopeful.

Another positive story...met my partner at 37 in July 2020, started trying December 2021, fell pregnant in February 22 at age of 39. Had a missed miscarriage 8 weeks later and was devastated, thought that would be my only chance. Pregnant again in June which resulted in our healthy son born in march 2023, I had just turned 40. We are now trying for our second, who knows if it'll happen but we'll see! I definitely lost my early symptoms around the time of the miscarriage but didn't really realise it at the time, this didn't happen with the healthy pregnancy.
Good luck, keep positive, it's definitely still possible!

I’m so sorry for your loss. Similar to you, I met my husband when I was 38, we started trying for a baby when I was 39, got pregnant at 40 and had a MMC. 5 months later I got pregnant again and gave birth age 41, baby is now 6 months. Straight forward pregnancy.

One piece of advice is to find out from your GP when you can get referred for fertility treatment. After I had been trying for 6 months as I was over 40 by then I was referred, and the waiting list was around 8 months. Don’t know if it will be 6 or 12 months trying for your age (may depend on location too), but worth getting on the list as soon as you can. I had my first IVF appt 1 week before I found out I was pregnant again.

Wishing you the best of luck x

I'm sorry for your losses too, that's beautiful, I hope I get to feel that way sometime soon 🙏 thank you

I'm sorry for your loss too, that must have been awful for you, I had already grown so attached to my nine week peanut. Thank you for your kind words, that means a lot. I will try my very best to keep hopeful that I will get to experience motherhood 🙏

Thanks, sounds similar to my situation, I hope second time I can make it happen like you. All the best for you on trying for a second, I hope it works out for you 🙏 maybe second time round I'll be more aware of symptoms and can be more prepared for things I guess, thanks for giving me hope!

Thanks, I'm sorry for your loss too. That's wonderful, congratulations! I hope I get to experience that someday soon. Yeah the doctors have been of little help throughout the whole thing unfortunately, I was just told to go away and keep trying for another six months, I can't explain how I just felt I didn't have that kind of time to be wasting, it's a horrible feeling, I'm sure you felt the same. I had just started talking to them about IVF referrals, but they again started telling me how selective they are and I may not be eligible, so don't get my hopes up, very crushing. Then I found out I was pregnant, so I may try and follow up with them this week, I just want to get the ball rolling. I was told my fsh levels were good, so I'm hopeful, I just want them to help me and give me any kind of advice, I've changed my diet for the last year, healthy everything, I'm afraid now that because I became pregnant naturally, they won't offer IVF to me. Thank you so much, greatly appreciated at a time like this 🙏