Struggling after miscarriage

[Figtree11]

Hi everyone,
I had a MMC 2 months ago, when I was 10 weeks pregnant.
The weeks after were just awful, and I do feel in a better place now than what I did. But a day doesn’t pass when I don’t think about it.

Some days I can think about it without getting upset, but other days, like today, I really struggle. I end up thinking how many weeks I would have been now if I hadn’t lost the baby. And just get stuck in this negative headspace.

Not really sure what I’m looking for, just to know I’m not alone I guess, and hope that things do get better/easier.

Thanks @Longbarn5 I’ve already had a text from my GP scheduling a phone consultation, so hoping I can get the ball rolling with starting a referral to Tommys. I’ve ordered some coq10, and omega 3 to start taking to feel like I’m doing something & hopefully help my egg quality.
I’m sorry you are struggling. It’s such an awful journey.

@ThelastRolo20 thanks for your message, I also remember you as well from previous threads. I had my surgery yesterday & im feeling pretty well really. It’s now the emotional side I’m struggling with, and know what a dark place I went to last time.
How are you doing?

I'm glad physically you're feeling okay, but you're right, the emotional side is to come. I'm three months on and I feel a lot more acceptance, random pregnancy announcements still hurt but it's a dull pain now as opposed to the much rawer version a few months ago. All my mum friends are currently pregnant with their seconds so that's been a tough thing to get my head around.

We actually chatted about whether to stop at one or not, but have decided to have another throw at the dice. But in the meantime I'm trying to focus on other areas of my life too.

I'm always here if you want to talk, I remember the dark days so well ❤️

Thanks @ThelastRolo20 I’m glad you are feeling a bit better. I seem to be surrounded by pregnancy announcements too.
I know I’ve got through the pain once before & I can do it again. But I only really felt better last time once I got pregnant again. And now I’m terrified that if i do get pregnant again, I’ll just have another miscarriage.

It’s a good idea to focus on other areas of life. I’m going to try focus on exercise, and maybe look at booking a holiday or something.

Thank you so much - I find it so helpful talking to others who understand

The anxiety around another pregnancy is so real, but focus on recovery for now ❤️ I hear Tommy's has really helped some women who have had our experiences so I'm hopeful for you. The odds are still in your favour!

I'm focusing on exercise too, going to my first park run tomorrow and have just come back from a week's trip to Lanzarote. Talking to people who understand has helped me more than anything, they can give you a type of support no one else can so do keep reaching out, especially on the darker days xx

Thank you @ThelastRolo20 im trying to cling onto the fact that hopefully there is some hope out there for me now that it looks like I could be seen by a clinic & potentially get some answers. It’s such a long process, each MC seems to put me back almost 6 months. It’s almost a year since I started trying.

I hope you had a lovely holiday. I think the sunshine always helps, so hopefully with us heading into the summer I will feel a little brighter than last time. I definitely agree, the support I have had on here has been amazing. I wasn’t a member until I had my first MC, and being able to talk to others has been invaluable x

I think the "lost time" is always really hard to cope with. I also started trying just under a year ago now and it's hard not to think "what if"!

Summer will help, having to do all this in the worst months is definitely harder x

@Figtree11 I don’t know if it’s any comfort or not but I’m in almost exactly the same position as you. A MMC in October (which took almost three months to resolve), then another one this week, diagnosed just before my 12 week scan as I had some spotting. I knew instantly it was happening again. I don’t know if I’ll be seen by anyone as to why, I suppose I’ll find out at my follow-up EPU appointment next week. But I suspect mine is related to my PCOS so not much to be done about it except hope. And take inositol! I’m struggling with the lost time too. I hope you get some answers from your referral.

@ThelastRolo20 hello again! Totally agree with you - some fantastic support on here. We will all get through this.

Hi lovely, nice to hear from you but I am so sorry it's under these circumstances. Life can be bloody shit sometimes. I hope the EPU can give you some answers - has baby been sent off for testing?

And you're right, you will get through this xx

So hard isn’t it to not think of what if. I work with a girl who is due her baby around the same week I was due my first one, this June. I was really struggling to be around her, but once I was pregnant again I was ok with it. So now I’m dreading being around her when back to work on Tuesday again.

I agree that the summer will hopefully make this a little bit easier. Going through the last one during winter was really depressing. I’m hoping being able to be out & about in the sun will help lift my mood

I’m really sorry you are experiencing the same. I wouldn’t wish this on anybody. I hope your EPU is able to offer some sort of help. Sending love to you, it’s such a dark place to be in. What’s happened is taking up my thoughts of every second of the day

Thanks @Figtree11. My EPU have been fantastic so far, hoping they can offer me some guidance on next steps on Monday. DH very sensibly suggested I speak to the consultant who diagnosed me in the first place rather than my original plan of obsessively searching the internet for things I need to do differently and buying supplements. He is a wise man! I fully understand the relentless thoughts, I think it’s just our minds trying to process what’s happened. Have you found anything which helps? I’m exhausted going over it all. I know I should probably get out and do stuff, it would probably help but I can’t summon the energy up.

@HerbaceousPerennial i am the worst at googling! I’ve consciously tried to take a step back from it today as i can find myself spiralling otherwise.
I’ve tried to keep busy today, which has helped. I didn’t want to go out, but we did & spent time in the sunshine with family & it has really lifted my spirits.
I think I am going to try & make myself do something each day & make the most of the nice weather & hope that it helps.
I hope your EPU appt goes as well as it can

I totally agree re the googling. I am really dreadful for it but, on the other hand, I have found and read some really useful research papers and medical journals so whatever my journey is I do feel I have as much good information as I can find.