Miscarriage at 46

[EmilyBelle3]

Hi, I’m 46 years old and discovered I was pregnant on Christmas Eve. Was unplanned but I was overjoyed and excited. Last Wednesday I started bleeding and having stomach cramps. Rang the early pregnancy clinic and they said not to worry. But obviously I did. They booked me in for scan Friday morning as they were busy on the Thursday. I rested in bed. They asked me to do another pregnancy test and it was positive. The bleeding and cramping continued but no clots or tissue.
At the scan they confirmed the pregnancy at 5.6mm with fetal pole but devastating no heartbeat. They sent me home after booking me back in a weeks time for a rescan. Saying the fetus may be too small for heartbeat but as low down in cervix they said would very lightly pass within a day or two later. Which did late that night.
Wish I could have the answers why this happened.
Was it mainly my age?
I went on a long dog walk two days prior to the bleeding. Did I over do it?
My husband of sixteen years didn’t want another baby. He even mentioned the A word, which I couldn’t bring myself to even talk about without crying. I know I am blessed having two boys age thirteen and nine. But really can’t help think what a little miracle to have even got pregnant. I often used to dream of another addiction to our family but said no… I’m too old.
I am so teary and still have a lot of tummy cramps and blood loss.
Can’t help to think did the little heartbeat start.

I’m so sorry.

It won’t be anything to do with the dog walk. Sadly the chance is miscarriage does increase with age but there’s no way to know whether your age was a factor here. My heart goes out to you as I know how sad a miscarriage is.

Sending love to you. I felt I’d done something when I miscarried, as well (I’d lifted a bag), and it played on my mind. But, after a long time, I realised that it wasn’t my fault.

It’s very sad. It’s not your fault. “what if” is the hardest part…

Gosh, lovely, what a hard road you are on.
No, the dog walk wouldn’t have changed a thing.
It’s just natures way of letting go of a foetus that wouldn’t have survived. It feels just horrible but it’s the right thing.

Dont underestimate how brave and strong you are.

Speaking as someone in my forties who's just had a baby following two miscarriages, yes it is your age. Chances of a miscarriage increase greatly as we get older.

It's absolutely heartbreaking though all that hope and excitement gone in an instant. Be kind to yourself, no good comes from blaming yourself.

So sorry IP, but nothing you did or didn’t do caused that to happen, so don’t blame yourself. Seek some support in RL

Thank you all for your message. Some of you have obviously had it so much worse than me. I’m sorry too for your losses and heartache. Xx

V sorry. Yes, it is most likely to be due to age.

I am sorry for your loss. Don't torture yourself thinking it was something you did. The older you are the higher the risk of miscarriage and for over 45s it's over 50%.

I'm so sorry this has happened. It's horrible and it's cruel, but sadly after 45 the rates of miscarriage for any pregnancy goes up to something like 90-95%. I know that everyone knows a story about someone who had a baby at that age- my great granny had her last child at 47- but the sad truth is that most 46yr olds who get pregnant will miscarry.

And for what it's worth, my great grandmother who did have a viable pregnancy at 47 faced huge complications and died only ten years later- this was in the sixties- from a gynae related illness that doctors blamed on the late pregnancy. It's just not what we are meant to be doing with our bodies at this age.

Egg (and sperm) quality deteriorates with age. As a result most embryos are not viable as we get older. It was nothing you did.

Your chances of miscarriage are higher at 45 but miscarriages happen at every age.

Dog walk also had nothing to do with it.

Please don't blame yourself.