6 losses (one recent TFMR)

[Ptlr9]

Hi all. I wonder if anyone can give me some helpful advice and hope or if anyone has been through a similar experience to me.

i have now had 6 losses, 5 of which were early miscarriages with heartbeats never seen (one as a partial molar pregnancy) and my most recent pregnancy we finally had a strong heartbeat and made it to 20 weeks. Thought we had finally got our rainbow baby until we found out at the 20 week scan that our baby girls heart hadn’t developed properly and she had a major heart defect. We wanted this baby more than anything in the world and was so attached to her, especially with our history of trying to conceive for three years with 5 losses but we had to make the most difficult and heartbreaking decision to end the pregnancy so she didn’t have to go through any suffering or pain.

im still trying to get my head around everything. I just don’t understand why I’ve had so much trouble. Can anyone explain why all of this may have happened? Do you think I’ve just been very unlucky or is there something wrong with me? I’m starting to wonder if I’ll ever have a baby :(

I am so sorry for your losses and what you are going through. I want to give you hope. We had 5 losses - 4 miscarriages and 1 tfmr. It was the darkest time in my life but something inside me said we had to keep trying and we had our son this summer. If you can keep trying then do. Having him has been amazing but it hasn’t lessened the feelings of what we went through to have him. Have you had all tests done? Mine were all normal but my husband had a test where he was boarder line so we had him take a lot of vitamins etc.
wishing you lots of luck

Thanks for your reply ❤️ that does give me hope. I had all the NHS tests which all came back normal and I’ve been told I’ve just been very unlucky. What test did your husband have? Xx

DNA fragmentation and he was also tested for any infections. I had had infections in the past and given antibiotics but he was never given any as they said it wasn’t necessary. When he was tested he did have an infection so we were both given antibiotics to clear it. Part of me thinks this helped as when I researched the infections could change the make up of the sperm but who knows! I have had the same thing happen now and they won’t give him antibiotics…! I thought it was a lottery for us and said this before we went for our scan at 6 weeks. They said I might be hyper fertile. The only thing I did differently that cycle was have spirulina each day not sure if it did anything! Have you been to any of the Tommys hospitals? Apparently if tests come back as normal then you have a better chance of having a baby.

Solidarity Op, I have been through similar (3 early losses and a TFMR at 16 weeks). I don't have my happy ending yet but thought I'd share a few things I've learned along the way.

Background: I'm 38 now (my pregnancies were at 36/37 - two as a result of IVF). I have low ovarian reserve and my husband has relatively poor sperm quality (low morphology and quite high DNA fragmentation).

I've been told my history is due to poor egg quality because of my age, and the fertility clinic have encouraged us to use donor eggs.

However, I do think "poor quality eggs" is a "catch-all" / slightly lazy diagnosis when they're not really sure what is going on so we've been exploring other avenues first.

I had blood tests done for recurrent miscarriages which showed my immune system may have been responsible for "attacking" the baby in my early losses.

My husband has also been taking proxeed daily and recently had an operation to repair a varicocele to improve sperm quality.

Our next step was to do IVF but do PGT-A testing so that we could determine whether our embryos were chromosomally normal before transferring them back.

However, I found out a few days ago that I'm pregnant (naturally) again. Clearly very early days and I have no idea what will happen - I'm taking progesterone, low dose steroids and aspirin under the care of the fertility clinic to reduce the risk of early miscarriage.

For you, a first step might be to get recurrent miscarriage blood tests done. You would be eligible for these on the nhs given your history. You could get them done privately - they cost c£1,500 but I got mine covered by my work health insurance.

Really hope you manage to get some answers and some better luck. It's pure torture living through this

Sorry just read your reply about your tests coming back normal. I would also suggest speaking to one of the Tommy's miscarriage clinics.

I forgot to add to my note above - I'm also taking additional vitamin D on top of my prenatals (low vitamin D has been linked to early miscarriage) and medication to increase my thyroid (it was within "normal" range but apparently not high enough for fertility reasons).

Hi, I just wondered if you got your happy ending? In a similar position and it's incredibly hard 😞 altho all of our tests have been fine and they tell us it's my eggs..