Long story short, I started feeling a little unwell last year a week before Christmas. Nothing major. But it started to slowly get progressively worse until I collapsed overnight the night before NYE at about 1 am. I was trying hard to call out to hubby but was so weak I couldn't raise him. He found me the next morning at about 6 am.
Pain was getting unbearable now so I called my mum (ex nurse). She said to rule out pregnancy despite it being highly unlikely as hubby has had a few months' ago had a vasectomy but I was also still (absolutely perfectly) taking the pill to be 100% safe.
Took test. Very dark positive. Total shock.
Ended up in A&E NYE and within hours was rushed into theatre for emergency surgery as ectopic pregnancy and bleeding internally. I was very poorly and lost a fallopian tube.
The thing is because we're coming up to the time of year this all happened, I keep having flashbacks about everything.
I don't feel I can talk to my husband about it because he doesn't really "get" it. Also I never grieved for the baby really as it felt almost wrong for me to be doing so?