Loneliness after MC

[SLJ92x]

I never knew loneliness until after I've had my MC. Not sure if anybody else feels it but it feels as though I can't speak to my husband about it as I don't think he wants to talk about things. Family and friends just don't understand, they think it's done with and we can try again soon. I just feel there is nobody I can literally truly tell how I feel and just cry with.

I am so sorry for your loss OP. I understand how you feel. I had a miscarriage at this time of year too, albeit 7 years ago. I found it hard to talk to anyone about it. Made worse by the fact that 2 close relatives were pregnant at the same time as me. I felt that nobody would understand the absolute depths of despair i was in. Give yourself some time, and be kind to yourself. And cry as much as you need to. It does get easier with time. ♥️

I'm so sorry for your loss and the fact that you are feeling as though you don't have anybody you can speak to about it. Would your consider seeking support via the Miscarriage Association or Tommy's? Both have telephone helplines and would be a good starting point to help you feel less alone.

I totally understand this too. It feels like everyone else's world just keeps spinning, people stop asking and you're just there in turmoil. I suppose we are our own worst enemies at times I tell everyone I'm fine and pretend that all day then just cry my eyes out all night when I'm on my own.

I'm so sorry you're experiencing this. It's easy to feel alone, but there are plenty of us struggling with it too.

I'm 5.5 weeks on from finding out about my MMC and have had to have 2 d&c's, and my husband is also shutting down communications-wise. I think it's hard for them to imagine how it feels because although it's devastating for them, they're not carrying a baby which has passed.

I hope you're okay. It gets better (slowly but surely).

I'm so sorry you're feeling like this, but I also know exactly what you are going through. Have you tried to get any counselling at all? My local NHS funding for this was cut, but I applied for it via PETALs which has been amazing and they were so quick to respond to me. My counsellor spoke about how there are two ways of dealing with grief. She said one was is getting back into that "normal" life and not thinking/speaking about it (which my husband did, he went almost straight back into work after we lost our daughter) and then there's sitting in the grief and feeling your emotions (which I have done for the last 8 weeks). She said men tend to experience that first way and women the second way, but ideally you need to oscillate between the two.

I too felt like my husband didn't want to talk about it, but I have come to realise it's more that he doesn't know how to communicate his feelings, he doesn't know what to say, and he doesn't want to upset me. And it's kind of the same with my family. If you feel like, try just asking him how he is feeling and he might suprise you and feel like talking. It is a hard, horrible situation to deal with, and unfortunately for us, it's almost a taboo topic. Hopefully in the future it becomes a more normalised thing to get to talk about! Please message me if you ever feel lonely, I'm always happy to chat xx

Hi I’m so sorry for your loss. I think it’s hard for people around to not understand the situation unless they are in the situation and expect you to naturally go back top normal life but it doesn’t always work that way.

When I experienced my miscarriage last month, I didn’t know what to think and it was so unexpected. My husband was devastated but he was able to go get back into his normal routine. I had managed to move on but it wasn’t until I went to the doctors and she asked me “how are you?” That I truly didn’t know how to respond. It was the first time someone had asked how I was including from my family excluding my husband that I just broke down. I am currently seeing a psychiatrist and a psychologist to help me process the grief and I feel as though I am slowly getting back to my old self. One thing I was told is, it’s okay to be happy, and it’s equally okay to be sad and to cry. There is no problem in being vulnerable, and you should acknowledge how you feel and not just push it aside.

Just to add some light to this, I have just found out today that I am pregnant with our rainbow baby… we are both happy but cautious at the same time. We are still both recovering from our loss so are taking this new journey one day at a time.

XX

I'm so sorry for your loss. I can so relate to the feelings you're describing. I had a MMC confirmed at an early scan three days ago and I'm currently hundreds of miles from home for Christmas with my partner and his family. My partner told his mum yesterday before we left home, and her reaction was that in her day they didn't have early scans and you wouldn't have ever even known you'd had a pregnancy or miscarriage at this stage. I feel like this delegitimises my experience as I felt so pregnant. I had morning sickness and sore boobs, I obviously missed my period, and I took a million positive pregnancy tests. It's taken us two years to get to this point, I'm 36 and have a thyroid condition and I'm worried we'll never conceive successfully. I'm still waiting for the bleeding and cramping to start and I'm scared. My partner is lovely and supportive, but of course it's just totally different for him and he is able to get on with things and put it out of his mind for a few hours if he needs to, whereas I'm bursting into tears every five minutes and can barely function. I wish everyone who's gone/going through this could get together in one place and hug and cry it out together, it's such a unique brand of sorrow that you really can't appreciate until you've experienced it. Sending you love and solidarity xxx