Lost my baby 3 weeks ago

[Looby1002]

Hi there
I'm new to this site.
I lost my baby at 14 weeks and its been nearly 3 weeks since we lost our little girl.
We do want to start trying again and feel ready. From what I've read you can start as & when you feel ready - it's only for dating scan purposes that you should wait a few months.....is this right?
I sometimes get a few niggles in my stomach area, like period pains or like the niggles I had when pregnant - is this normal, is everything just getting back to normal? Or should I go and see my Doctor incase there's an infection?
Thanks xx

[expatinscotland]

I'm sorry for your loss.

You are not alone.

You can start when you feel ready.

The niggles, yes, I had those for about 6 weeks after an ERPC for missed miscarriage.

Your body is still recovering.

Best of luck to you.

[nickytwotimes]

Hi Looby and welcome. Sorry about your loss. I'm afraid I don't know much on this topic, just wanted to say Hi and offer my condolences.

[Habbibu]

So sorry about your little girl, Looby. Your hormones will be all over the place still. Do you know why your little girl didn't make it? It is a good idea to take folic acid for 3 months before conception, if you can, but otherwise, yes, I'd say you can start when you feel ready. Do you have support? You're still in the early stages of grief and shock, and there will be ups and downs to come. Do post here and/or on the SANDS forum whenever you need to talk.

[Looby1002]

Thanks ladies for your prompt replies.
My little girl (Katie) had a chromosome abnormality and we did well to carry her until 16 weeks, she wouldn't have made it to full birth.
The last few weeks have been awful, especially when my boobs started to produce milk 2 days after I lost her - I was never told this would happen, obviously it was going to happen but it never crossed my mind.
I went back to work after a week, which has been hard (my Doctor had signed me off for 4 weeks), but I need to keep busy and focussed but when I come home I sometimes need a good cry and I do have my good days and bad...........life can be so unfair sometimes.
We are going to the hospital chapel on sunday to say our goodbyes, she'll always be in my heart and I think of her every day.

[Habbibu]

Oh, sweetheart. They should have told you about the milk - we were told about that, and it did help. Take work one day at a time. If it helps just now, fine, but if it gets too much, take the time off. I'm so sorry about Katie - it is such a hard thing to happen, but it does get better. My second daughter was born 16 months after we lost Pia, and arrived safe and sound and is a real joy. We never forget her big sister - we carry her in our hearts all the time.

[constancereader]

I am so sorry to hear about the loss of your daughter.

I would echo the advice about SANDS - I found it an invaluable supports when I too lost a baby due to a chromosme abnormality.

Be kind to yourself, it is still very early days. Your daughter will always be with you, as I know my son is with me. xx

[cece]

Yes come and have a look over on the SANDS forum. Everyone is very nice and it is a good support. It is still very early days for you.

I am sorry about your beautiful daughter. She sounds like she was a really fighter to have got as far as she did.

[Jacanne]

I'm so sorry that you lost your daughter.