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Miscarriage/pregnancy loss

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Thank you to those who just say “I’m sorry”

2 replies

kindnesswinsx · 23/11/2023 21:17

When you have been through awful times you come to appreciate people’s kindness.

I just wanted to say thank you, to the people who say the right things when people have had a miscarriage.

I appreciate it’s hard to know what to say (and that’s a good thing to say tbh!)

I got talking to my aesthetician today that I have polycystic ovaries and she said do you have kids? I said no I’ve had a few mc. (Always easier somehow to open up to strangers)! She said with genuine empathy “I’m sorry.”

It really struck me.

Due to my personal circumstances (mental health and gyno issues which I found out after all my mc) I can’t and won’t be trying again. And I am not meaning this in a bitter way at all but when people say “one day a miracle might happen” or “it might happen when you’re not trying” although not intended that really hurts because actually no, it will not happen and comments like that remind me of that.

So a big thank you to those people who just say I’m sorry, or I don’t know what to say or similar. You’re the best.

And no hate at all to people who have said m things that have intentionally upset because before mc I had no clue and probably would have done the same.

And also for those who are having a hard time with it, love to you all and feel free to share. Christmas is a hard time of year for these things.

💐

OP posts:
Daisies12 · 24/11/2023 06:48

Thank you for this, it’s so accurate. When I lost my first pregnancy this year there’s people close to me) who have said nothing at all. I’ve found it so upsetting. I know it’s likely they worry about saying the wrong thing but I just wish they’d just say “I’m sorry”. I hate those platitudes like ‘it’ll happen when it’s right”, just acknowledge that having a MC is shit.
i am really sorry for your situation, I hope you can start to find some peace with it ❤️

kindnesswinsx · 24/11/2023 18:17

Daisies12 · 24/11/2023 06:48

Thank you for this, it’s so accurate. When I lost my first pregnancy this year there’s people close to me) who have said nothing at all. I’ve found it so upsetting. I know it’s likely they worry about saying the wrong thing but I just wish they’d just say “I’m sorry”. I hate those platitudes like ‘it’ll happen when it’s right”, just acknowledge that having a MC is shit.
i am really sorry for your situation, I hope you can start to find some peace with it ❤️

I’m sorry for your loss firstly. 💐

I completely understand about the saying nothing - it happened to me with a couple of people which I was quite taken about by as they’re nice loving people.

I was hurt as I took it as my pregnancy meant nothing but I have since got to know them better and I actually it was the fear of saying the wrong thing, upsetting me etc. So no resentment now but at the time it was tough.

“it’ll happen when it’s right” just stop! My womb is riddled by endometriosis making it incompatible with life I’ve since found out so no it won’t! 😂

disclaimer - I can laugh at myself (or I would cry) but obviously would never make a joke of someone else’s repro issues.

Hang in there @Daisies12 lots of love

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