Thoughts and feelings after misscarraige

[Justweeme13]

This is going to be a long one , I had a misscarraige on Monday of this week had mild cramping from Friday onwards got worse by Sunday night, bleeding started pretty soon after , followed by a large clot on Monday . I've had a misscarraige before last year but wasn't as far gone and wasnt in the best of places with OH , we've became a lot closer and although this pregnancy wasn't planned we were both happy and were excited to grow , we seen the midwife on Friday morning aswell and then this days later I can't get my head around it . OH was great first couple of days staying with me making sure I was OK but he has became very quiet and not really communicating , I know it's small things but I've told him I loved him twice now and he hasn't said anything back and if there was ever a time to hear it , now would be that time , I'm feeling like he doesn't want to be around me and in my head it's because I feel like I'm no use to him now and I know that's probably not the case and he's trying to deal with his emotions and what's happening in his own way , I guess I need to rant , wondering if anyone else has been through this and managed to pull through with partner?

I haven't had the same experience but didn't want to read and run - I'm so sorry for your loss and the worries you're now experiencing about your relationship on top of it. It may be that he's just trying to process his experience and feelings - is he generally good at discussing how he feels about things? If not, then maybe it's a bit "big" for him to be able to explain how he feels and he just needs a bit of time.

In case it's useful, there is good information to support partners during miscarriage on the Miscarriage Association website - you know your partner best so you'll know whether he might want to look at some of this stuff, but here's the link if it might help: https://www.miscarriageassociation.org.uk/your-feelings/partners/

Thank you for your reply , he's not great at expressing his feelings however even ending a call we would say I love you etc so for that to just disappear especially at a time when I need to hear it most it's breaking me , could just be my hormones and emotions to playing up . Thank you thought your message is appreciated

He has finished with me tonight said he can't do it anymore

I am really sorry to hear that, it must be a very hard thing to have to deal with on top of your miscarriage. There isn't a lot of wisdom I can offer here, other than to say I hope you are looking after yourself, and that you have the opportunity when the pain is less raw to take stock of things - but look after yourself first and foremost. 💐 I hope you have friends or family who can support you if your partner can't.

So sorry for your loss and that your OH chose not to be at your side now. Do you have relatives or friends that can support you know? Miscarriage is one of the saddest things that can happen to a couple. It is also n horrible test. It is not easy for any but I believe it is hardest for the mother/you. You carried that child. Please focus on your health, I hope you find the support you need. I wish you every courage 🍀