First Miscarriage

[heartbrokenmama23]

Hi

I found out in september i was pregnant with my first child. On saturday i was having small bleeding and cramps so I was booked in for a scan that day and found out that there was no heartbeats - i was having twins. They stopped growing at 10 weeks
Fortunatly my midwife is my best friend from uni so she was the one who broke the news to me and was great. She explained my options how it was unlikely that i would pass naturally due to my body still holding on for 2 weeks. I am currently allowing it a week to pass naturally before taking the pill to inititate everything.
My fiance is amazing and has been there and saying all the right things but I just feel numb. I get tearful talking about it but I havent had that breakdown yet that i feel i need to start process things.
I feel like its because im still holding onto them that i cant process it yet
Do these feelings get better

Hey @heartbrokenmama23 so sorry you're going through this. I found my baby had no heartbeat at the 12 week scan on Monday, they passed just before 10 weeks. I was booked in for surgery yesterday but ended up miscarrying naturally on Tuesday afternoon. I didn't really start to process it mentally until after everything had passed - be mindful that your hormones will be haywire, particularly 2/3 days after the passing so be kind to yourself. Here to talk if you would find it helpful x

@heartbrokenmama23 I'm so sorry for your loss. I found out last month at 9 weeks that my baby had no heartbeat and today is 4 weeks since my surgery - I promise you, you will gradually feel better. You don't forget - sometimes grief hits me like a train and I just have to have a good cry - but you start to have happier moments, and over time those happier moments will be more frequent than the sad ones. But I know that right now it feels like the worst thing in the world and like it will never end. Take care of yourself, get lots of rest, feel whatever you need to feel in any moment, and I hope that the physical process at least goes as quickly as it can.

There is lots of useful information on the Miscarriage Association website if you want to read anything about what happens next, and they also have a telephone helpline if talking to someone would be useful for you (Tommy's also offer something similar). And there is a general support thread on this forum for people who have experienced miscarriage where there are lots of us who have had similar experiences, which is a really good place to share how you feel and seek advice/support or just vent if that's what you want to do.

Sending you love and support right now. ❤

So sorry for your loss. My first pregnancy ended in a MMC which we found out about at the 13 week scan (baby stopped developing at 10 weeks). Like another poster said, I didn’t really process it fully until I had passed the pregnancy - I ended up having medical management to do this. After that, the grief really hit me and I felt empty inside. I couldn’t have gotten through it without the support of my husband - we made sure to talk about our grief together regularly. We also felt it was best for us to start TTC quickly again, though we knew we were not trying to replace what had been lost. For some people this wouldn’t make them feel better but for us it was the right thing. Wishing you all the best with your recovery.

@heartbrokenmama23 so sorry that you are experiencing this. It is so so cruel. I had a MMC with my first pregnancy at 9 weeks (hadn't grown from 6 weeks) and it's been the hardest thing I've ever had to deal with. It happened 5 weeks ago and still feels very raw and I'm still devastated, but I promise you that it gets more manageable as time goes on. Something that resonated with me was that it can't be fixed, only carried. It won't go away but it will get easier.

As others have mentioned, I also had a huge hormone crash after the miscarriage which made me very emotional and I was in a dark place mentally. I think my body was so focused on getting through the miscarriage that once it had happened it hit me quite hard.

I would recommended reaching out to support and taking about it as that helped me to process it. I am also having counselling. Try and take things one day at a time. It's ok to grieve and cry.

So sorry for your loss.

There is still time to pass naturally. I found out at 14+5 there was no longer a heartbeat and baby stopped growing at 12+2, and I ended up passing naturally at 15 weeks