Missed miscarriage / hope

[Holly0609]

Hi everyone
Just looking for people to talk to..
I’ve just turned 34, we were trying for a baby for 7 months and in September I couldn’t believe it when we had a positive test ❤️
I had a private 8 week scan on Monday, and baby stopped growing at 6 weeks 💔.
I’m heartbroken and I feel so empty.
I had medical management on Wednesday, I know this happens to so many people but you wouldn’t wish this on anybody would you 🥺.
How did you all get through it?
I’m desperate to start trying again when we can, and praying it happens quickly for us.
Looking for some positive stories to give me hope 🥺💕

I'm so sorry for your loss - as you say, miscarriage is common but that doesn't make it any less painful or distressing to experience. There is a general support thread on this forum full of people with lots of different stories and experiences which you might find it helpful to join - it's a very supportive space to just vent your feelings or ask questions. There are hundreds of posts on it, but don't worry about reading them all - just jump on if you want to.

I'm 3 weeks on today from surgical management of my MC, so just over a month since I found out my pregancy was no longer viable. Sometimes I feel good and normal almost as though nothing ever happened, and other times the grief hits me again like a train - I'm just trying to allow myself to feel however I need to at any given time and not put pressure on myself to feel like I did before. I keep reminding myself - and it's something you should tell yourself too - that there is no right or wrong way to feel or act. Be gentle with yourself as you navigate what you're going through.

@Holly0609 Sorry for your loss... You're not alone...

I had a miscarriage last month at 6 weeks... I know that heartbroken feeling...
Let yourself grieve, but more importantly, take rest. I know trying to be positive can be hard, but you need a healthy body and mind to get ready for the next pregnancy. So don't let yourself be too depressed for too long.

You're still young. Don't lose hope. I'm turning 38, and I got pregnant only with the help of IVF... At first I felt so lucky that I got pregnant with my 1st IVF, but then I lost it... But instead of feeling hopeless, I told myself to see it as a good start... that I can try again and do it better next time... I know it's hard... I'm like "back to normal" on the outside now, but I still cry at little every now and then... Just like what @CluelessInLondon is experiencing... We feel you, and we're all here for you...

Don't be so stressed about trying again. Now, you have to let your body recover. Eat healthy, do exercise, take supplements... and all the other things that would help you get pregnant easier. Like my doctor said, "you will scare the baby away if you're too stressful". So try to relax, and be positive, the baby will come!

I'm sorry for your loss OP.

I'd suggest reading the book 'It starts with an egg'. I bought a 2nd hand copy from ebay. It has tips for some lifestyle changes which 'might' help with conceiving and next pregnancy etc.

There is also the MC association who had lots of advice and a helpline if you want to speak to someone.
The Miscarriage Association:Pregnancy Loss Information & Support

Vast majority will have a health pregnancy after MC. We were just unlikely unfortunately. 13yrs TTC, 3 losses, rounds of IVF and no cause for sub-fertility found. I have a very happy, fulfilling life though, but its just a different life to the one I'd assumed I'd always have.

Remember that this isn't your fault and you aren't alone. x

Hi there, so sorry you’re going through this. It’s a horrible shock. I had a missed mc at the end of January, at 34. It’ll stay with me forever. I was worried it was down to my age and assumed I’d struggle to become pregnant again, but lo and behold on June 1st I got a positive test. I was convinced the same would happen but I’m still pregnant, 22 weeks and so far everything has been ok apart from the constant anxiety and paranoia it’ll come to a horrible end. Best of luck. I was told a mmc is fairly common unfortunately but that id be very unlucky for it to happen twice in a row. Hugs 🤗

@Holly0609 I'm still very much going through this as well, you are definitely not alone. I also had MMC at just over 8 weeks and was showing as 6 weeks. I had MVA last week to remove RPOC (2.5 weeks after the natural miscarriage).
Absolutely heartbreaking and you never think you'll be on that side of the statistic. Everything I read made me feel like the chances are that it would work out.

Sometimes I feel a bit more normal, but then it hits me in a huge wave again. I feel like the only way I can recover is to be pregnant again which of course I can't control. I'm early thirties and have only just felt ready to start a family so I'm trying not to blame myself for this.

The thing keeping me going is that there's still time and I'm sure our time will come. There will be better days ahead.

I had a MMC at 13 weeks in May (baby stopped growing at 10 weeks). I felt so low for weeks after and I needed to start trying for a baby again to feel better. It’s not that we wanted to replace what was lost, but we needed something else to focus on. We didn’t put any pressure on it but conceived 3 months after. Now 12 weeks pregnant and the anxiety has been awful throughout. I’m always just expecting it to happen again. I think when we get around to the due date of our first pregnancy, it will be tough again. Like another poster said, I will never forget the pain of the experience. I think it will always stay with me.