Stillbirth and miscarriages

[Akan]

I am looking for some hope as going through worst phase of my life since last one year.

My first baby was stillborn last year at 40+4 week. I was shattered and struggled for months. Conceived again in march this year which sadly was mmc at 8 weeks. It was a traumatic experience with failed 3 rounds of medical management followed by surgical management. I conceived again in August. They could only see gestational sac growing since last couple of weeks. I am already 8+3 weeks. They have called me for one more scan next week though it's quite evident that pregnancy is not progressing as it should have.

I am feeling so numb and helpless. I am already 38 with low AMH. Is this not possible to have a baby now? I don't have courage to go through loss one more time and at the same time I desperately want a baby.

I'm so sorry you experienced stillbirth and miscarriages, this seems too much. It is a crazy emotional roller-coaster to ttc, get pregnant, wait, hope. And hormones in the middle. You have been strong though. Im not a medical expert but I believe you cannot do more than trying to focus on you and be gentle with yourself. You can get pregnant, you can get pregnant, leave it to your body and Nature to then take over. Hope you feel better soon🍀

You poor thing, what a terrible time you’ve had of it. I just wanted to let you know that you’re not alone, I feel the same. We had been trying for 18 months, had been referred for ivf but I had to lose 2 stone. We finally fell pregnant in July, I had a great first trimester, two positive private scans the at 12 weeks discovered baby had a very high NT. Two weeks later we had a tfmr.

I’m feeling very very scared we won’t get pregnant again, and terrified of something else going wrong. I felt so positive before and now I wonder how I will ever enjoy a pregnancy - if it even happens at all.

I honestly wonder how I am going to cope with the next rollercoaster of TTC. I’m 39 in a few weeks so I really do get you.

I’ve already found myself googling for evidence of being more fertile after baby loss, and looking at Co-Q10 to try to improve my egg quality. I just want a healthy baby, like we all do. I don’t want to let this define me, ruin me, lose myself in the despair - but it all feels a bit bleak right now.

I’m so very sorry reading this. I have never been through the trauma that you have but I have felt that uncertainty that I could ever carry a child. I had 5 early losses before dd1 and a loss at 12 weeks. I just remember thinking there must be something wrong with me. Some women’s road to motherhood is just really hard but it doesn’t mean you won’t get there in the end. However, you have to prioritise your mental and physical health above all.