3 Miscarriages - bad luck?

[Hopeful1987]

A few days ago I went for a 10 week scan and was told that the baby had no heartbeat and that it was the size of a 9.5 week baby. I know that it is a missed miscarriage as I have had no cramps, bleeding nor symptom loss at all. I am now waiting for it to pass naturally, but if by tomorrow nothing happens then I will need to take the pills to help move it along. My husband and I are absolutely shattered. I had lost another pregnancy at 6 weeks in February 2023 and another one at 6 weeks in November 2021. We did various tests and my husband has a sperm morphology of 1%, but we still managed to fall pregnant naturally with all pregnancies. I should mention that I had a healthy baby girl in August 2020. We fell pregnant within 3 months of trying and and it was a good pregnancy. My Daughter is now 3. I have been told that the miscarriages are probably "bad luck" and bad chromosomes. I should also mention that I recently turned 36 and my husband is 41. I feel so helpless and don't know what to do going forward. Do we keep trying and risk having more miscarriages or do we give up? It is becoming very depressing. I cannot and will not enjoy pregnacny now. I have ready that statistically very few women have 3 or more miscarriages. Are there people out there that have experienced the same and have answers or had a successful pregnancy later on? I feel so despondent and too scared too hope for a miracle.

I didn’t want to read and run…. It’s hard to say if it is bad luck or something else. But I had 3 miscarriages, no known reasons and now have 2 healthy girls, so there can be positive outcomes. It’s so hard when you’re going through it, absolutely soul destroying.

Sorry for your losses. Tbh it could be bad luck or it could be something. I had a healthy easy pregnancy in 2020 and since then have had 4 consecutive losses. After the 3rd I had testing done and a few things came up mainly thyroid. My gynae put me on progesterone, blood thinners and steroids for my next pregnancy as well as thyroid meds which is a lifelong thing. We did lose the next one even with all the medication. There is about a 6 month wait on testing atm so it will be a while before we find out if the baby was normal or not. I have known someone that had 3 losses and all came back as abnormal at testing so even though seems unlikely it can happen. I wouldn't be taking a drs word that it's bad luck def get some tests done

Today I had a D&C and a kind nurse told me that Nature decides for you, often for the best. We all know that, yet it seems unfair. But Nature knows best. She told me that she experienced surgery on a new born, right after he was born, in the same room as his mother. This is heartbreaking and shows how fragile it is to give life.
Giving life is a formidable gift, you can only try to be the best to yourself and let the Nature help/do its bit. You can conceive, you have it in you, you are only 36, it is OK. I wish you every strength 🍀

If you’ve had three consecutive losses you can ask to be referred to the recurrent miscarriage clinic on the NHS. We also self referred to Prof Quenby at Coventry and she discovered the problem (high uNK cells). Having a diagnosis and a potential treatment gave us confidence to try again and my daughter was born after the next pregnancy. Take a break, recuperate emotionally, see if you can find answers and then decide whether to try again. The recurrent miscarriage (pred thread) on here was a great source of support. Good luck!

Sorry for your losses. Like others said they will do tests after three consecutive ones. We had three in a row and had tests at our local hospital which showed one of my husband’s chromosomes was upside down in one pair, they said if that one paired up the most likely outcome would be a miscarriage so basically 50/50 odds.

we went on to have a further three, so six in a row. This time we were referred to St Mary’s in London and the upshot was I had to take aspirin as soon as I had a positive pregnancy test until 36 weeks. As a result we had our daughter. We are so glad that we insisted on being referred that second time.