Hi all, I’m so sorry we have all had to find our way to this thread but I’m hoping that I might find a little support here as I’m struggling a bit at the moment and really just need a place to let out my sadness.
October was supposed to be my due month for an Ivf pregnancy I lost earlier in the year. A few months later we had our final round of ivf which unfortunately ended in a chemical pregnancy.
We have no embryos left, no money left to try again, a big loan to pay off which reminds me every month of something that should have been but wasn’t.
I’ve tried so hard these last few months to be grateful for what I have, to move on, to try and accept all that has happened and enjoy what’s in front of me, however it’s exhausting. I still think about it everyday - more so now because we are approaching my due date. I’ve had friends who went through ivf at a similar time and they now have their baby, friends that have miscarriages and now have their rainbow baby and I’m just feeling a bit sad for myself. Ive had therapy but have just begun to realise that maybe this silent grief I have is just something that I have to learn to live with.
It feels like I’m not supposed to feel like this, that no one understands how I feel - it all feels a bit lonely.
im sorry for the long jumbled post - it just all felt very heavy today and could really do with a little kindness
thanks for reading xxx