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Miscarriage/pregnancy loss

Find support and share your experiences on our Miscarriage forum. See also legal rights and support after baby loss.

Support needed

3 replies

Feelinglost2023 · 27/09/2023 22:13

Hi all, I’m so sorry we have all had to find our way to this thread but I’m hoping that I might find a little support here as I’m struggling a bit at the moment and really just need a place to let out my sadness.

October was supposed to be my due month for an Ivf pregnancy I lost earlier in the year. A few months later we had our final round of ivf which unfortunately ended in a chemical pregnancy.

We have no embryos left, no money left to try again, a big loan to pay off which reminds me every month of something that should have been but wasn’t.

I’ve tried so hard these last few months to be grateful for what I have, to move on, to try and accept all that has happened and enjoy what’s in front of me, however it’s exhausting. I still think about it everyday - more so now because we are approaching my due date. I’ve had friends who went through ivf at a similar time and they now have their baby, friends that have miscarriages and now have their rainbow baby and I’m just feeling a bit sad for myself. Ive had therapy but have just begun to realise that maybe this silent grief I have is just something that I have to learn to live with.

It feels like I’m not supposed to feel like this, that no one understands how I feel - it all feels a bit lonely.

im sorry for the long jumbled post - it just all felt very heavy today and could really do with a little kindness

thanks for reading xxx

OP posts:
Mitsouko1919 · 27/09/2023 22:20

Hi @Feelinglost2023 👋🏻

I don't have any sage words of wisdom or shared experiences, though I'm sure those who do will be along soon. I did go through fertility treatment though & remember something of the anxiety & strain. I didn't want your post to go unanswered, so am sending you an unMumsnetty hug & all best wishes for the future 💐

CluelessInLondon · 27/09/2023 22:29

I also can't offer a lot of wisdom, but wanted to offer support and say how sorry I am for your losses. Grief is something I don't think we ever really "get over", it's something we take with us and grow with and around. It's a really brave thing to start confronting what the alternative reality might be from what you originally wanted/expected, so be gentle with yourself. 💐

KatieJ345 · 27/09/2023 23:06

I’m so sorry that I also don’t have any useful advice but I am truly sorry for your losses. I had a miscarriage this year and the baby would be due in November. One of my friends is due around the same time and though I’m happy for her, it really hurts. It is hard approaching the due date as I keep imagining what it could have been. It has been helpful speaking to other women who have also had miscarriages, it definitely makes it feel less lonely. Wishing you all the best.

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