Multiple Losses- May Try Again

[AlienSuperstar]

Hi all,

I'm new to the forum and tbh I don't really know if I should be here or not!

I experienced around 3/4 pregnancy losses in 2019/2020, an Ectopic being the most traumatic. I stopped trying for years and during this time also split from my husband.

Fast forward to 2023 and I have been with my amazing new partner for a year and a half and we have spoken about trying. He has 2 boys from a previous relationship. I'm 37 and he is 38 , so, for me, I can feel my clock ticking. We are both trying to finalise our divorces etc before starting to try.

While I am excited to try again, I am also scared and anxious, my age being my main concern but also the thought of going through another loss.

I guess I'm just on here to read other people's stories and to feel like i'm not alone.

x

@AlienSuperstar I'm so sorry for your losses. I had a loss with my ex husband back in 2019 after ttc for 2.5 years, we split shortly after. I was trying with my current partner for 6 months (I'd say 3 were full on trying) but sadly that ended in MMC at 10 weeks too. It was awful, I'd definitely spent a lot of time thinking about what could happen in terms of loss etc, but decided that if we want a baby we have to work through the worry and the risk otherwise there's zero possibility. I don't think you can ever get rid of the worry once you've had a loss (or more than one).

Did you have any investigations into why you had recurrent miscarriages before? If not then it might be worth speaking to your GP. My GP has referred me to the miscarriage clinic and for a heap of bloods and scans after I just spoke to her today (she thinks I also had a chemical pregnancy which would make it the 3 losses 'required' and she didn't want me to have to wait any longer/suffer any more losses I didn't have to). x

Hey Moosey,

Thanks for the reply.

I'm sorry to hear of your losses and your situation sounds really similar to mine. Big hugs.

Yes I have been thoroughly investigated. Apart from the fact that I now only have one fallopian tube, I'm apparently "perfectly fine" and just had really bad luck.

Do you have an appointment through for the miscarriage clinic?

I'm glad to hear you are with a new partner and want to try again <3

@AlienSuperstar thank you.

It's hard when you've had investigations and they are all clear - you almost want to find something, only something fixable mind you! So you can work towards mending it and it gives some hope.

So I actually got a referral yesterday - my GP is the most amazing person and not only did the miscarriage clinic referral but suggested getting the ball rolling for a fertility clinic referral (due to total time spent trying). I cannot express my gratitude enough at how much her help means, you hear so much about people having to fight their GPs. She said she knows the wait can be long so wants to get ahead of it in case extra help is needed x

yes it sounds strange but I really wanted them to find something!

Sounds like you are getting great care, let us know when your appointment is :)

@AlienSuperstar so sorry for your losses!

Yes I have been thoroughly investigated. Apart from the fact that I now only have one fallopian tube, I'm apparently "perfectly fine" and just had really bad luck.

Was HE investigated, though? I know it sounds harsh, but when it comes to infertility I don't think it's fair you've been told it's "bad luck". It's probably something that was never investigated/was investigated poorly.

Wishing you best of luck!

sorry if i'm being stupid but what's HE? lol x