5th miscarriage

6 replies

jiji · 29/02/2008 10:04

I am so sad about losing this baby. I was having doubts about the pregnancy, as it was unplanned, and I really didnt want another baby (I have two).

I am so very sad though. I feel like I let this baby down, and as though as it knew I was scared abouthaving it.

I keep on saying sorry to noone in particular, as if it can hear me.

Now, having argued myself blue that I was anti a third baby I am utterly lost and so want another one.

I really am soryr, I did want this baby so much really. I was just scared and stressed and angry with dh. I should have taken better care.

OP posts:

cazzybabs · 29/02/2008 10:06

Look - it was nothign you did. People who really don't want babies go on to give birth. You did nothing wrong - it is just something went wrong with the making of the baby...nothing you could do about it.

I have 2 mc and it is crap horrible, but I have gone on to have dd3 - you will have another baby (if that is what you want)

hugs...take care

Tickle · 29/02/2008 10:07

Oh Jiji - please don't blame yourself. No one knows why most miscarriages occur, and it is very unlikely that could have stopped this one from happening.

Please try to take care of yourself, and post on here about how you feel - I know dhs are often not the best at understanding how miscarriages make us feel.

Thinking of you. x

Original poster

jiji · 29/02/2008 10:14

I suspect it was the trauma from when I got knocked over by the bike.

I spent so much time whinging about the pregnancy and now Im sad I dont feel I have the right to be.

I really didnt want another baby, now stupidly, thats is all I really do want.

OP posts:

Original poster

jiji · 29/02/2008 10:16

Ive had two, then dd, then another two, then ds, then this one...

I know if I persevere I will prob have a third in time, but I so want THAT baby back. Sorry, I know I sound stupid, but I feel I have to say this to someone...sorry...

OP posts:

cazzybabs · 29/02/2008 10:21

You know - I feel like that...I look at dd3 and feel sad for the one I lost in Dec 06. But then I wouldn't have her...

I don't know if you are religious at all but my friend said that god just wanted your baby early and that he knws its name.

Original poster

jiji · 29/02/2008 10:29

Well, I hope whereever my baby is now that she knows Im truely sorry for everything I said about not wanting her. I was just scared and uspet, and I did want her very much indeed. Im so sorry, I just so wanted to hold her. Ive never lost one so late before. im crying so much. I feel like Ive been taught a lesson.

I am so so sorry. I should have told people I needed to rest, and I shouldnt have carried the heavy pushchair home, or had to fight off that intruder, or damn well got knocked flying by a bike.

I am so so sorry.... I want my baby back

OP posts:

Flip