Still struggling two weeks later

[Neve09]

It’s been two weeks since the day that we were told at our 12 week scan that I’d had a missed miscarriage. A week since my MVA. And in between, seven days miscarrying at home which was traumatic emotionally and physically.

Whilst I’m not bed bound, I still feel completely at sea with the whole experience, I had every pregnancy symptom in the book (at times worse than how I felt in my previous successful pregnancy). I had absolutely no symptoms that anything was wrong. I’ve gone through the first trimester tiredness and sickness, barely able to eat anything, for no reason.

I’m having headaches almost every day, aches, sweats and tiredness. I’m still getting positive pregnancy tests, they’re fading but completely still there, so I presume my hormones are still up in the air so may explain these symptoms. I just feel going back to ‘normal’ life soon completely overwhelming and scary, I can barely do a trip to the shops at the moment without collapsing on the sofa afterwards. Two weeks feels like a decent amount of time to recover but I just feel some days that I’m barely functioning.

Oh OP I'm so sorry. Please be kind to yourself, 2 weeks is no time at all and that's 2 weeks since the beginning of your miscarriage! It takes a while for the hormones to leave your system which undoubtedly makes you feel worse (my partner thought I was going totally insane with the random outbursts of crying). But it does and will get better, but give yourself time. It's a horrible and lonely experience but so many of us here have unfortunately had the same so please remember that you're not alone. I struggled leaving the house for a couple of weeks after surgical management the second time. The first time I was a complete mess and didn't get back to normal life for well over a month. Sending the biggest hugs x

I agree, 2 weeks is nothing. It’s not surprising you feel physically and emotionally awful. There’s so many aspects to this - the loss and circumstances around it, the hormonal chaos with all the physical and emotional symptoms that can bring. I don’t think two weeks is a decent amount of time to feel back to normal at all. Are you getting any support from anyone or are you under pressure or expected to be ‘over it’ now? I think you need to expect to feel better gradually. Everyone is different. Look after yourself and be as gentle with yourself as you can. You’ve been through a lot 💐

Thinking of you

I think it takes around a month for the hormones to leave your body, and as much as the world expects us to pick up and carry on like nothing happened, 2 weeks just isn't enough time to physically, mentally or emotionally expect yourself to be feeling "normal".

It never leaves you, but it does get easier.

I'm not sure how old your other little one is, but it's much harder to move past that tiredness when you're looking after someone else too! I had a MMC last year just before my DD turned 3, and getting up and showing up for her everyday helped me get by but was absolutely knackering whilst still waiting for the hormones to settle down. Also the emotional, grief process can make you feel ill and tired too.

Be kind to yourself, lean on family and get some naps in if you can, sending huge hugs xx