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Miscarriage/pregnancy loss

Find support and share your experiences on our Miscarriage forum. See also legal rights and support after baby loss.

16 week miscarriage- a man’s view

2 replies

Captain1 · 07/08/2023 23:50

Hello everyone, just posting this in case someone was interested.

my girlfriend found out she was expecting twins at around 10 weeks. It was a big shock for me as we were newly together and it was unplanned.
we spent the next four weeks making plans informing family and generally getting pretty stressed out. It was a pretty stressful time.

The twelve week scan showed no issues and due to the multiple pregnancy we have a 13 week scan when we met the consultant. She was a little concerned with a fluid buildup around twin 1.
we were referred to St George’s in london for further tests and went the next day. They advised waiting a week to monitor but it didn’t look great for twin 1 but we might be able to save twin 2. 😞
a week later to returned and were prepared that we may have to make some difficult decisions.
As it turned out Mother Nature made the decision for us and both babies hearts had stopped.
Obviously this was a shock for both of us and options were discussed. We decided to opt for a medical procedure as this would give the best option for autopsy.
We went in on a Tuesday for my partner to take the initial medication and returned to two days later.
I was surprised that we were admitted into the maternity ward. And the whole experience was not dissimilar to when my previous children were born many years before.
We were treated so well by the staff and the midwife assigned to us clearly had a lot of experience.
My partner was given several doses of medication and having been admitted at 11am she “gave birth” around 7pm. She was 16 weeks at the point.
we were offered the chance to see the babies, I was very wary but my partner was insisting she did and I’m glad we did. We spent a couple of hours with them and although a bit surreal I think it gave my partner the closure she needed. Something she would not have gotten had she opted for surgical intervention.
They have now left us for the post-mortem and we are arranging for burial (something else I wasn’t aware of).
It was/is a difficult time but the support we were given by the hospital made a huge difference.

anyone hope this might help someone.

OP posts:
Imnotmadaboutit · 08/08/2023 07:02

I’m sorry for you loss.
I’m glad you were well supported during the birth, ongoing support is available and there are trained midwives trained in bereavement counselling at Tommy’s should you or your partner need to speak to anyone.

https://www.tommys.org/baby-loss-support/miscarriage-information-and-support

Miscarriage information and support

Miscarriage is the loss of a pregnancy during the first 24 weeks. Find out about the symptoms and causes of miscarriage, and what happens if you miscarry.

https://www.tommys.org/baby-loss-support/miscarriage-information-and-support

faithnack · 03/09/2023 21:33

I just wanted to say thank you, I read this shortly after we found out our twins had passed at a similar gestation and found it really helpful in terms of knowing what to expect. For anyone else reading our experience was very similar to the above.

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