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Miscarriage/pregnancy loss

Find support and share your experiences on our Miscarriage forum. See also legal rights and support after baby loss.

Not ttc after miscarriage

2 replies

OoohWhatchaSay · 07/08/2023 23:03

I'm feeling very alone in my situation and wondering if anyone can relate at all 😓

Last year I had a miscarriage at 10 weeks, absolutely heartbroken after trying for over 2 years. We've just passed what would have been the due date so I know this hasn't helped my emotional state.

All of the support threads I read often talk about trying again and rainbow babies, but what if you never get that silver lining?

We have decided not to try for another baby any more, due to many reasons including health issues and also the son we do have has significant disabilities which are becoming increasingly harder to manage. It just wouldn't be fair on him or any future children. I know this is the right decision, but how do I ever accept that we'll never have the family we wanted? Our son is our world but it has been a long process of accepting how different our lives have turned out (I hope this doesn't sound bad, I think any parent with a disabled child can hopefully relate). And then I'm grieving the second child we will never get to have either 😔

How can this ever get easier? I just can't stop crying

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SiouxsieSiouxStiletto · 10/08/2023 13:45

I'm so sorry @OoohWhatchaSay. I haven't experienced what you have but do have two DC who are ND and have had two terminations for medical reasons.

I think it's pretty normal to be grieving the life that you thought you'd have with your DS and the baby that you wanted but I do totally understand and agree with your decision.

Just wondering if you've been offered any support at all by your GP? Flowers

OoohWhatchaSay · 10/08/2023 15:02

Thank you for replying @SiouxsieSiouxStiletto I'm sorry for what you've been through too 💞

I had some therapy and temporarily went on medication but to be honest neither really help me. I don't think there's much else they can do. Nothing changes our situation and that's what is so sad. Hopefully in time I will learn to accept how things have turned out, and of course I'm grateful as I know I'm very fortunate in so many ways. I guess that's just life isn't it, it never goes how we plan!

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