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Miscarriage/pregnancy loss

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Original poster

How can I ever get over TFMR / still birth?

3 replies

volbe674 · 07/08/2023 06:52

Finally heading home soon after weeks in hospital with severe preeclampsia. We ended up losing our baby at 24 weeks and I had to go through a still birth.

I'm feeling traumatised from the whole thing, especially the physical birth itself, and am so stressed this might mean we can't try again as the preeclampsia was so early and so bad. I don't know how I'd go through this again, but all I want is for us to have a baby. At least if I had that hope it would be okay, but I'm so worried the situation will repeat itself.

The midwives have given me some resources to look into, but does anyone have any experience or words of r advice? I want to look forward but just feel this dread and fear. And at the end of the day can't believe we're leaving here without our baby.

OP posts:
DeadButDelicious · 07/08/2023 07:48

Hello, firstly may I say how terribly sorry I am for your loss, if you feel like you would like to tell us about your baby, I know I for one would be honored to hear about them. Flowers

Not the same as preeclampsia but I do know how that uncertainty feels. We lost our eldest daughter at 20 weeks, she had a partial chromosome deletion and we had to undergo genetic testing to find out if it was an issue with one or both of us. It's a terrible feeling, not knowing if it was just 'one of those things' (a phrase I now hate) or something that would happen again. There were some dark, dark moments in that wait where we had to face up to the possibility that this may not happen for us, that something entirely out of our control could snatch away our hopes and dreams and that is an awful feeling. And I'm sorry you are feeling it now.

I am sure someone with experience of preeclampsia will be along soon and be able to offer better advice. I do know that in our situation, my next pregnancy was very closely monitored and I had support from a bereavement midwife who was with us every step of the way. I also found great support from SANDS and a local babyloss group.

All the love. Flowers

Original poster
volbe674 · 07/08/2023 11:18

DeadButDelicious · 07/08/2023 07:48

Hello, firstly may I say how terribly sorry I am for your loss, if you feel like you would like to tell us about your baby, I know I for one would be honored to hear about them. Flowers

Not the same as preeclampsia but I do know how that uncertainty feels. We lost our eldest daughter at 20 weeks, she had a partial chromosome deletion and we had to undergo genetic testing to find out if it was an issue with one or both of us. It's a terrible feeling, not knowing if it was just 'one of those things' (a phrase I now hate) or something that would happen again. There were some dark, dark moments in that wait where we had to face up to the possibility that this may not happen for us, that something entirely out of our control could snatch away our hopes and dreams and that is an awful feeling. And I'm sorry you are feeling it now.

I am sure someone with experience of preeclampsia will be along soon and be able to offer better advice. I do know that in our situation, my next pregnancy was very closely monitored and I had support from a bereavement midwife who was with us every step of the way. I also found great support from SANDS and a local babyloss group.

All the love. Flowers

Thank you for replying, and sorry for your loss as well. I'm hoping some more people might advice as well, but I did read recently that this thread seems quite quiet...

OP posts:
DeadButDelicious · 07/08/2023 20:28

I really hope someone with more knowledge comes along soon. Flowers

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