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Miscarriage/pregnancy loss

Find support and share your experiences on our Miscarriage forum. See also legal rights and support after baby loss.

Partner not coping after miscarriage.

1 reply

indieray · 21/07/2023 23:17

Had our 4th loss 3 months ago. I am
Still off work. We were both utterly devastated as this was meant to be a pregnancy that we were hoping with meds would work out.
I have been having counselling through work. It's helping me even though I struggle daily. My partner was so supportive the first month but since then most weekends when he returns from working away, he's been irritable moody n snapping at me.
After me not putting up with it & arguing with him over his attitude. He finally told me it wasn't because he was just being mean in general but he's been struggling with his feelings and grief.
So for the last week I've been very upset as to why all
This time, he hasn't chosen to tell me this. He said he saw me going through so much emotionally he didn't wanna put anymore on me. I think this is not fair but as I see us as a team. I said last week he needs to think about getting some help counselling or talking to me or someone close instead of taking it out on me. I said maybe exercise or something he just doesn't want too. He's said he wants to have time to process it all. He's not willing to get counselling yet etc. I said whilst I'm waiting for you to deal with this and your still snapping at me am I still meant to put up with it ?!
Our plans were to TTC again in 6 months but now I feel like this is ruining us as I love him but can't help he's pushing me away.
I don't know what to do.

OP posts:
PernickityKitty · 21/07/2023 23:28

I’m sorry for your losses Flowers
If he doesn’t want to seek counselling do you think reaching out to other men on a forum who have been through the same may help?
https://www.tommys.org/baby-loss-support/dads-and-partners

Baby loss support - for dads and partners

After losing a baby, sometimes the partner and their feelings are overlooked. But you have also experienced a loss and may need support too.

https://www.tommys.org/baby-loss-support/dads-and-partners

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