Medical treatment due tomorrow but showing signs it is coming early.

[Silverfoxlady]

I found out on Saturday that I have a missed miscarriage at 12 weeks. It has been a shattering experience for both my partner and I, even with the knowledge that there is a higher chance of miscarriage with older mothers.

I decided on the medical route because the surgical choice would take too long due to the doctors being on strike. So I took the first pill yesterday, and the next pill to start the process is due tomorrow and I was due to stay in hospital with extra pain relief.

However, I am having contraction-like pains already since about 9am this morning and they are getting stronger…

Can anyone recommend anything to make this experience easier if I am forced to do this at home???

I have cocodamol from the pharmacy but I can’t take them until 3pm when the paracetamol wears off.

I know this is a difficult question but - ‘What do women use to keep the blood clots if we need to retain them and show the midwifes that we have lost enough?’ I am stumped and my partner just looked uncomfortable with the question (poor thing).

I am sitting in a chair with a hot water bottle and keeping my fingers crossed that this will be ok.

Sorry you are going through this.

You could use a tupperware pot or a measuring jug x

I'm so sorry for the loss of your precious baby and that you are going through this. Could you or your partner call the hospital and explain what is happening? Perhaps they would admit you early.

Sorry for your loss. It's shit, isn't it.

Definitely call the hospital to see if they could take your early or if not to understand what pain relief they can prescribe for you at home eg can you take ibuprofen now to dovetail with the cocodamol.

There are other threads from MNers talking about their experience of medical miscarriage. A consistent theme is that for those who had intense pain with contractions it tended to last hours, so although the bleeding and passing may take days/weeks you don't experience that level of pain for that long.

Other things that may help - hot water as you have tried, tens machine, peppermint (chew them, use a sniffer) lavender, moving around/on all 4s, deep (yogic) breathing, playing music or podcast to try to distract between contractions. Swearing!

I don't think you need to keep the clots - if it's easier you could measure in a jug and keep a tally rather than keeping it all.

Not sure if your hospital offers this but mine 1) said they could test the tissue for a molar pregnancy (not sure if that is an outstanding question for you given you're at 12 weeks) 2) if I chose to pay for private genetic testing of the remains they could do that. As it happened they weren't able to get a result sample (so I didn't have to pay). You may not be in the frame of mind to research this or arrange it or to try to identify the gestational sac itself but if you don't know you can't make the choice.

Good luck with it. You will be OK.

Thank you both for the messages Meem321 and sunshine423, I called the hospital and they said either ask for a toilet collection pot (from pharmacist) or to use a tupperware container. I am the only driver and the pharmacy is far so the tupperware pot will do.

They didn’t mention anything about coming early but just to come tomorrow if I hadn’t passed everything.

Useful to know that I am to wait for something shiny and white (the pregnancy sac I think) as well as large blood clots. They wanted to get a sample to send off for testing.

Has anyone else been through this? What will help the experience at home?

Yes, definitely not been the best week! As I said to my older teenager ‘This week can go f* itself’.

Thank you for the reply, some good suggestions. Will definitely try the deep breathing and swearing part. Maybe some light TV.

I didn’t think of sitting on all fours, it might help speed up the process.

If you feel up to it, walking around outside might help. Fresh air, nature, daylight and movement.

Ok, so that was quicker than I thought. Maybe a few hours of early labour contractions and then half and hour of intense pain. I wish I did this in hospital - it would have been easier, but I did a few yoga poses and breathing (which helped).

It felt like giving birth, but this time with the cat meowing for food and the occasional visit from the children asking about dinner. It was quite comical at times.

Once the gestational sac came the contractions stopped and now the pain is a strong period pain again.

Thank you all for being there. It was great help - I was so worried!

Well done! Sounds like you're over the worst of it.

I couldn't believe it when I read on here loads of women saying the intense pain had only lasted a few hours. In my first MC when i was crying out and didn't know where to put myself thought I was going to be like that for days, and felt like a massive wet lettuce not being able to cope.

*worst of it physically I mean. Give your hormones a chance to stabilise and for your heart to heal

I don’t know why the hospital leaflets say it feels like a ‘strong period pain’, that is totally rubbish. It was proper labour pain, especially the last half an hour - it felt like I was crowning and I needed to push. It was only quick for me because I have had children before.

I really wish hospitals wouldn’t minimise the pain women feel. Imagine someone going through this and only expecting ‘strong period pain’!

I know, it's bullshit.