Recurrent miscarriage clinic

[Unicorn2023]

I have got my appointment in the morning and as it stands I am so angry just now with everything! I have waited 10 weeks since my operation and only with me phoning to chase them up be told they didn’t get enough tissue from the D&C to do a genetic test. I lost the plot at this point and demanded an appointment at the clinic which they said they would refer me to when I was in hospital ten weeks ago and didn’t and my doctor had to do put a referral in for me but had I not phoned I would still be waiting because the junior doctor hadn’t picked it up 😡 anyway I’m scared I can’t hold it together tomorrow because this is my 5th miscarriage and feel helpless now! I completely understand this happens to loads of women per day but I think I have been fobbed off enough now!

sorry for the Rant

Hi,
Im sorry you’re going through this. It’s so unfair and your situation with the referral sounds so unhelpful at a time that’s already so stressful!

I’m on my 3rd mmc and it’s entirely exhausting and totally cruel.

which appointment have you got tomorrow? Is it at the recurrent clinic? Hopefully they understand your pain and can offer next steps

I’m sorry again- this situation is so horrible x

@Kappi Hi,

I’m so sorry this has happened to you 😢 sending you lots of love and hugs 🤗
I thought today was the clinic but it wasn’t just a scan to check everything was ok so everything ruled out so far as to why this keeps happening it’s honestly taken it’s toll this time 😢 I’m really thinking about giving up x

@Unicorn2023 I know what you mean - it’s relentless and so upsetting each time.

if it’s any ‘help’ - I had a scan too to see if anything was a miss. Came back normal. The uncertainty really upset me because I felt if we identified a problem we could fix it.

The thing Im struggling with - is the testing process seems to be about ruling things out so when things come back normal it’s hard to see that As progress.

I can understand that feeling of considering giving up. Have you had your bloods looked into? If not, There’s so many tests that can be done and perhaps when you get to the recurrent clinic appointment they can start with those?

Some days are easier than others xx

@Kappi Yes I’ve had all the tests everything is normal 😢 been trying for 6 years with 5 pregnancies IVF and natural and it always ends in miscarriage 😢 I thought I had some hope because they were testing the tissue but the doctor said there wasn’t enough retrieved to test which has really upset me all over again because I had a D&C I thought surely they would have got something to test! At this point I don’t even know what else the recurrent clinic can do for me I just feel like it’s a lost cause for me now.

it’s been ten weeks since my D&C and that appointment yesterday really set me back just not sure how much more I can take xx

I see - I’m sorry, it turns out you know all about the process for testing 💐

You have incredible strength to have continued - it’s okay to rest a while and consider where you and your partner are at.

Im booked for D&C next week if nothing happens before - we’re also hoping this pregnancy can be tested - like your situation it depends what they can retrieve I guess.

I can understand that feeling of waiting for weeks for letters and appointments. It’s so draining and people don’t know how to respond after multiple miscarriages. Were you waiting for the appointment at a Tommy’s clinic or your local hospital? Hopefully it comes soon after the scan appointment wasn’t what you were expecting.

whatever you and your partner decide is your next step- people on here can offer a sounding board or virtual hugs. It’s shit and totally unfair. Xx

@Kappi Thank you so much for the kind heartfelt response really appreciate it ♥️ especially when you are going through such a tough time yourself. I really hope they can get enough tissue for you to get tested. I have everything crossed for you 🤞🏻🤞🏻 The MMC was by far the worst for me (although every miscarriage is heartbreaking) I honestly stupidly thought this was our time it was going to be ok why my body hung onto it this time broke me 😢 I can only imagine how you feel with it being your 3rd 💔
The appointment is coming through the hospital the doctor said yesterday i will hopefully get a letter in 1/2 weeks but I’m not holding my breath 😩
sending you and your partner all the love in the world because you sound like myself and my partner just dust yourself off and get on with it and that takes courage to do ♥️

if there is any advice I can give you it’s don’t take no for an answer with anything I waited far to long because of hospitals and doctors shunning me and 6 years down the line I’m now 39 and now being told by the doctor yesterday it’s my age which is shit ( and I told him that) because I started at 33 i should have maybe pushed a bit more to get stuff done xx

Its just so crappy isn’t it.. you’re right, the missed ones are especially brutal because you’re lulled into hope right up until the moment you learn it’s all over.

we sound incredibly similar! My husband and I have battled on and on- because we don’t know any other way really.

I totally take your advice about speaking up for things early - I can imagine that must be so challenging hearing that age is playing a factor now. Good for you telling the doctor that that’s shit, because it absolutely is!

you clearly have courage and strength of character - we’re all behind you 💛

(just wish there weren't so many baby related adverts during day time TV! They need to do one!)

@Kappi I’m here for you too if you need to chat or vent to anyone ♥️

oh that part I get and everyone I see is pregnant too and it wasn’t planned and it’s making me so angry just now everything is! It can all F**k off 😢

I keep thinking surely we can’t keep getting all this bad luck when we are good people and would give a child a great home 💔 it just hurts 🤗 my fiancé since we met has said I’m always glass half empty with everything (which I must admit I can be mainly because everything just goes wrong no matter what it is 🤣) but even he has started to admit this is just absolute shit show now! If it wasn’t for him telling me to be strong and we can do this I probably would have gave up or had a nervous breakdown by now I’m very lucky to have him Xx

Everything you're saying makes perfect sense to me - I feel the same way! How is it we are this unlucky?

My husband is very strong too - very pragmatic and also entirely supportive during my very regular meltdowns or obsessive researching! It's crazy what it does to you!

Just hoping for a relaxing summer oncr this miscarriage starts (hopefully before I need to take the tablets!) And hopefully it's over as smoothly as possible.

I did well today, went out and it seemed every baby in the world was out too! I didn't crumble I just managed. Small steps! Xx

@Kappi Yes! I felt every single word of that! The meltdowns and the obsessive googling what did I do wrong are so bad at times but your body is going through so much and I think he’s used to it now sadly 😢

I am so proud of you for getting out it’s so difficult to see everyone else loving life and tiny babies so you done amazing ♥️ I sat in the house for three weeks when this happened to me only making it from bed to the couch everyday until my partner said right that’s enough please get ready and go out a walk but my biggest fear was seeing someone I knew and I didn’t know if I would be ok. To be honest him saying that really did help though because I started getting ready everyday after that and went out a drive or a walk. Your hormones just take over it’s just so hard ♥️

I actually seen something today on another forum that it was natural killer cells that was causing their miscarriages so I’m going to ask at the clinic when I get my appointment if this could be the cause for me too since nothing else is flagging up xx