No heartbeat at 12 week scan

[RiotC]

Had my 12 week scan today. No heartbeat. Going in for surgical management on Thursday. Just think maybe I want other people's experiences. I had no symptoms, they said he stopped growing at 11 weeks 2 days which is exactly a week ago. I've had no bleeding. Apparently I have a lot of amniotic fluid. Sorry rambling. Not sure what I want. Not sure whether to go to work on Monday or what to do.

Thank you everyone for sharing your experiences, good/bad/whatever- it just helps me feel less alone.

So very sorry. I had the same ten years ago, when my DS was the same age as yours (and over Christmas, just to put the tin lid on it). It was incredibly difficult to process. I miscarried naturally a few days later, but I wish I'd been given the option of surgical management. Be very very kind and gentle to yourself and take all the time off work that you can. Thinking of you.

Wow there are so many of us- I too had this happen to me two weeks ago.
I am so sorry for each and every one of you for your pain and your loss.
I was given tablets to take when they discovered no heartbeat at 11+5. The clinic was closed over the weekend so I thought I would wait until Monday when they were open before taking the tablets (in case anything went wrong and they weren’t open). In the meantime, I started bleeding heavily on my own. I was filling a maxi pad in the space of five minutes, multiple maxi pads in an hour and huge clots nearly as wide as the pad. I ended up going to emergency but weirdly it all slowed down after I was at the hospital (so later worked out it’s likely to be because I have had a traumatic experience with a hospital when I had my daughter four years ago, and I think my body kind of shut down. When I got home after the doctor told me I had probably passed everything, it all started again. I had been told when they found no heartbeat and the baby had died, that I wouldn’t recognise a baby in the tissue I passed, but that was also wrong. I’m sorry if this is too gory but I wish I had known- I could see the baby inside the sac and the placenta as well, which was attached. Nobody tells you about this and you can’t really find pictures of it so I feel like women have to go through the shock and trauma of all of this unprepared. It’s up to you if you choose medical management or expectant management- in my experience I didn’t need the medication and have finally stopped bleeding and feel like my uterus has gone back into place, and my tummy has gone down. You should do what feels right for you. But take time out to rest and recuperate and make sure you have some good support around you. It’s really hard and it’s sad and I’m so sorry for every woman who has to go through this. Stay strong xx

Yeah so much this @Lemonvalley
I had an abortion 20 years ago, and had exactly the experience you are describing with the medical management. They actually accidentally showed me the foetus as I passed it. This is why I have chosen surgical as I know I can't go through that again.

Really appreciate people posting. It's such a comfort to me. My friend came round and we put all my maternity clothes in the attic (and drank some wine) which feels good.

I am so sorry

Bless you. I was also a secondary school teacher when it happened to me. I had a month off. Yr 9 require a lot emotional resilience and that I had zilch of at the time

How are you doing now @RiotC ?
I’m glad you could do that with your friend. Good support matters after miscarriage and makes such a difference.

Enormous sympathies OP. Hope you’re ok. Another one with the same experience.

Hey, doing ok. Was in for surgical management yesterday. Been signed off for another week, so just deciding whether I can do that or not. A little bit of pain, and absolutely shattered, but in a way looking forward to it all being over. I got pregnant so quickly when we decided to try, like literally a day after we decided to try. So I guess this is just a little bump. My original plan was to be pregnant by January, so hopefully that still might be a thing. It gives me the absolute fear to think about going through the first 12 weeks not knowing again, but I'm sure I will feel stronger soon.

@HVPRN hey, so lovely to hear you have your rainbow baby. I had a mmc I found out at my scan last Monday, I was 11 wks baby was 6. I passed it yesterday sadly. I’m 42, worried about trying again. How old are you if you don’t mind me asking and how long did it take you to conceive again. Thank you xx

Aww really sorry you're in the loss club and going through this. Any questions, happy to help.

There are so many supportive miscarriage accounts to follow on Instagram if you get chance, you may find it helpful

I'm 37. After all the research & reading I did regarding conceiving again after a miscarriage, the prime time is from the first period after your loss, and within three months. Then up to six months. Your body is primed so to speak. Fingers crossed you get your rainbow 🌈 xx