Not quite sure why I'm sharing this but I want to.
Firstly, I'm sad...but mainly angry. Pissed off actually as I had told myself and my husband that this was our last attempt.
I'm 42 and this is not my first miscarriage so over the last 11 weeks I have been quite guarded about the entire pregnancy, pessimistic I guess.
I'm very much a realist and I know it's age related.
Anyway,
After my previous miscarriage where I spent a lot of time passing blood and clots on the toilet, I decided that I didn't want that to be the case this time.
As detached as I am, it felt wrong to just flush my baby away.
And miraculously I caught it!
I held this little intact sac in my hands, filled with fluid and with a tiny baby floating inside.
It's brought me so much peace being able to see it.
I know this may sound morbid to some but I hope there are some out there that can understand where I am coming from.
I feel like it was a little miracle in horrible circumstances.