How much time off work for late miscarriage (20 weeks)?

[blahblahblah1654]

I lost my baby at 20 weeks due to early onset preeclampsia at 19 weeks. I'm only just out of hospital after more than 2 weeks. Clearly not in a headspace to go back to work. For those who had similar losses, how much time off work did you take?

I see no one has replied. I'm so so sorry for your loss.

With regards to work I think everyone who goes through this needs to do what is right for them. Some people will need the routine to keep their mind off it, some will need time to process.

So if you're not ready, don't push it to go back.

I had a much earlier miscarriage but I had one week which went into the 2 week Christmas holiday so effectively 3 weeks in total.

Personally I would be looking at extended time off, you need to physically heal and more importantly emotionally heal, if you can afford to take say 8 weeks off I would be looking at that timeframe as a start and if you're ready to go back sooner great, equally if you neex to extend last 8 weeks that's also ok.

I'm so sorry, it must have been very traumatic for you x

Sorry for your loss.
There is no timetable for this. See how you feel week by week. And then try a phased return.

Everyone is different and ask about a phased return. Are you getting some specialist bereavement support?

I miscarried at 16 1/2 weeks after car accident and I was devastated. In hospital for 5 days due to other injury but I was off work for 2 weeks in total and when I went back I was fragile but I was teaching exam classes so felt I had to go back as they only had 2 month's before their exam. It was very difficult as pupils kept asking if I'm not pregnant anymore. It was my third baby so I was showing at 14 weeks and pupils could see I was pregnant previously. If I'd been.in an office job I'd have probably taken an extra week. The thing was I didn't think it would be healthy at home on my own just thinking about it all the time and my house was looking like a florist shop as so many people sent me flowers. At work it did take my mind off it.

Thanks everyone. I think I'm one of those who copes better when I'm back to normal things like work etc. Physically I'm still a bit of a mess so wouldn't go back right away. The doctors and midwives recommended 6 weeks so I will see if I can get a doctors note. The whole thing seems so unfair, I just want my life back and miss my little girl. I have 3 year old son at home so need to focus on getting better for him.

@caringcarer I'm so sorry for your loss x

@RandomMess I do have some contacts for counsellor and bereavement midwives but I think this is just going to take a lot of time for me to process.

Big hugs, make sure you are physically better before you try. Emotionally try it and see x

I lost a baby in April at 16 weeks 2 days and I was off work for four weeks, felt like the bereavement midwife pushed me to go back to work a little bit but I could have stayed off much longer but felt like it was time to throw myself back into a routine. Don’t put a time limit on things, we had to arrange a little memorial and then I had to have surgery due to retained products so it felt like it was straight forward. I hope you’re okay, it’s a pain you can’t even begin to describe 🤍

Hey
Sorry your going through this too i had my baby 2weeks ago (24th June) at 17weeks I was initially signed off for 4weeks but I think I'll take a further 2 we are having a funeral for our son on 6th July (he has had a postmortem as they have no idea why this happened I delivered him at home it went from absolutely nothing to oh I need the loo to baby born in 10minutes) I had massive blood loss and retained placenta so had a D&C and blood transfusion I'm still anaemic
I just find everyday tasks mentally exhausting right now so I'd be no use at work 🙃 😪 call me insensitive but we had a holiday booked (uk break) before this initially I wanted to cancel but bereavement midwife told us to go we have an 11yr old with additional needs who is excited for his holiday so we are going with my mum to help with childcare bless her the day after the funeral for 7days feel it might help to be away from it!
However work might give you that same restbite but please make sure its not to distract you from the grieving process I hope your getting support we have a wonderful bereavement midwife.
Inbox always open I'm in a similar place to you so can't tell you when/If it gets easier xx

14th not 24th auto correct

@Hampstead16 so sorry for your loss. It's such a shock isn't it. I hope you are recovering x

@Mumof1hopingfor2nd so sorry for your loss. I lost my baby on 8th, I was induced but she didn't arrive until 11th either. Due to the gestation and being high dependency I couldn't have a d&c. I also had to have the placenta removed under general as it was stuck! I was in hospital from 1st until 16th June due to severe early Preeclampsia. They have never seen it come on this early before. I'm also very wobbly and can't do a lot. I'm getting outside every day now which helps. I was on so many blood pressure tablets which were making me dizzy but I've been able to reduce them now. I think I'll need a couple of weeks still for sure, for my physical health at least. I keep going for my husband and 3yo ds. We are also having a post mortem but it's likely she passed due to the preeclampsia but it may be useful if we decide to try again. Sadly I may not as I'm terrified what could happen to me. I hope you are enjoying the weather and I hope you enjoy your holiday. I'm tempted to book something soon so I have something nice to focus on x

Hi @blahblahblah1654

I had a late miscarriage at 19 weeks in April :-( & I am going back to work 10th July.

Im having bereveament counselling and doing an online course of cognitive behavioural therapy. I should be in a better headspace when I go back to work.

It obviously depends on you as an individual and your work (mine have been really supportive)

Give yourself time to deal with it. If you need a chat msg me xx