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Miscarriage/pregnancy loss

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Missed miscarriage found at 12 weeks

8 replies

midnights0 · 12/06/2023 20:50

Hello, today I had the worst news of my life. I went for a private scan due to slight brown spotting (midwife said it was most likely nothing but I had a gut feeling) to be told my babies heart stopped beating 4 weeks before that at 8 weeks and 3 days. I only had a scan 8 weeks exactly showing a healthy little bean with a heartbeat. Devastated isn’t the word. I was spotting brown Saturday, Sunday & today, and after my scan I’ve started bleeding red and having cramps (isn’t it weird how you start cramping and bleeding after being told the bad news?!) anyway, the hospital called today and I have an appointment tomorrow at 8.30 (on my birthday, yippee) to scan again, and I guess see where to go from there. I don’t know if Ive started passing things already, because of the bleeding and slight cramps. Im to scared to go under to have surgical (if that’s offered to me) so I wanted to hear other people’s experiences, I’ve read every thread on here and have read ranges of it was painful but manageable then absolutely horrific. To say I’m scared is an understatement, I’m terrified, I’m grateful I have my fiancé here with me. And I’m scared to see a little baby. Seeing all the blood in the toilet is grim. Thanks if you read this ♥️

OP posts:
RubaiyatOfAnyone · 12/06/2023 20:57

I’m so sorry. The same thing happened to me and i was (am still to some extent) devastated.
everyone is different. I had no cramps or bleeding at all, and opted for surgical management so i wasn’t left waiting. For me it was absolutely the best option - under for a general anaesthetic, then awake and all over. All the nurses were very kind, and i went home a few hours later.
Whatever you decide, Look after yourself and give yourself time and care. Grief is a powerful thing, but it does lessen. I went on to have a healthy pregnancy a few months later, there was no reason for the mmc, it just happens sometimes.

Picklewicklepickle · 12/06/2023 21:18

I’m so sorry OP, this happened to me and it was heartbreaking at the time. I had no bleeding or any indication of anything wrong until my 12 week scan when the sonographer turned the screen away, it was such a shock.

I managed to get a cancellation slot and had surgery under a general a few days later and honestly it was the best decision for me, I didn’t want to deal with passing the baby (sorry that sounds awful but the idea was too much for me). Everyone from the EPU, the ward and the surgical team were absolutely amazing and so so kind it was actually a really positive experience compared to the scan. I was at home by the evening with no pain and minimal bleeding afterwards. I took the next day off but that was all I needed physically to recover. It did take me 5 months to conceive again but that pregnancy went well.

Good luck whatever you decide x

Oxalis00 · 12/06/2023 23:17

Oh OP, I’m so sorry. It’s awful news, and then such a blow to have to decide how to handle the physical process. I was in your position 6 weeks ago. Still dealing with both the physical and emotional side but my experience seems to be more complicated than most. I went for medical management (pills at home) and it was bearable but ultimately incomplete, so I ended up having surgery 5 weeks later, which I was initially so scared of but was actually fine. There’s no ‘good’ option really, it’s an awful situation, but perhaps you can weigh up whether you want to be involved in/aware of the process or leave it to medics, how soon you could do either process (my hospital had quite a wait for surgery) and how that feels to you, and what fits in terms of other commitments too. Some hospitals do MVA under local anaesthetic which is a kind of middle ground I suppose. Happy to give further info on my experiences if that’s helpful but honestly everyone is different, there’s not really any predicting how it will be for you, you just have to make the decision that fits you and your situation as best you can. And I’m so sorry you have to make any such decision at all. Take care x

Alsobeyondshit · 12/06/2023 23:22

Hi op. I'm so sorry. I had a mmc 13 years ago, and it was horrid. I wanted the surgical option too as wanted it over and done with. I'm sure though that it completely changed my periods - made them shorter and lighter. Now struggling to get a decent womb thickness as part of my IVF treatment. Just saying that as I wish in hindsight I could've avoided it just in case. Ask lots of questions and see what they say. Very best of luck x

SnookyPook · 13/06/2023 10:57

@midnights0 so very very sorry for your loss. My story was very similar. Very mild spotting at 11wks, midwife not concerned but booked me for a scan as my official 12wk one wasn't meant to be until I was almost 14wks. Had the scan at 11+4 and unfortunately no heartbeat and baby had stopped developing at 7+5. Like you, immediately after that scan and hearing the worst, my bleeding started up.

My Sister and a good friend had both been through losses, and both recommended surgery to me. They had experienced medical management not working and felt that it was easier emotionally etc and took away the uncertainty. With that in mind, I opted for surgical management. My scan was on a Friday and the earliest surgical slot was the following Tuesday. I actually miscarried naturally over the weekend.

I was one of the 'lucky' ones, whose experience of the natural miscarriage was very bearable with a bit of paracetamol and a hot water bottle. I was very anxious about what to expect etc but just had to get on with it. It was actually fine, and in a way I think passing the loss that way helped me to process it more. I felt weird about the pregnancy going down the toilet but made peace with that after deciding I really didn't want to try to catch it and have to deal with it somehow. I did at one point sort of want to 'honour' the baby and did look at one of the clots but in all honesty, there was nothing recognisable, even though I braced myself. It looked liked a heavy period. There may have been other bits that would have looked more like something but I won't know.

I still had the pre-op slot booked for the Monday so went along to that, told them I had bled a lot and they rescanned and confirmed that I had passed everything naturally. So in the end, the surgery wasn't needed.

I've just reread your post and seen that you will have had your second scan by now and probably made your decision. Just know that whatever you have picked, you will make work for you. Also, you are stronger than you know, and you will come through this.

In the immediate aftermath of my loss it was all-consuming for a couple of weeks and I wept and grieved and just got by. My MMC was discovered mid-April. I am astounded at how far I have come emotionally since then. There are tough moments still but the world is brighter again and I have some hope. This week is a hard one as my period is here and it's sort of re-emphasising the loss. However, I am feeling hopeful and I am TTC again and hoping for our rainbow baby. I'm just letting you know this as I honestly couldn't have imagined feeling ready for that two months ago. Also to say, your path may well be different, and that's ok too. There is no right or wrong way to deal with this. Just feel the feels as they hit, give yourself space and time to grieve your loss, and know that you have a community of women here who sadly understand and don't mind you ranting, raving, raging, weeping.. whatever you need. We're here. And it does help to share with others who get it.

Sending lots of love your way 💕

midnights0 · 13/06/2023 18:32

Hello, thank you to all that replied - im sorry I didn’t reply individually. It’s been a long couple of days.

last night about 9am I started getting cramps, I took 2 paracemtol at 12 and woke at 1am in agony. I went to the toilet and tbh there wasn’t that much blood - over the course of 6 hours. Not in the sense of fillings pads every hour, I did sit on the toilet a while. The pain was what I could only describe as contractions? I’ve never had a baby so I don’t know, but it was horrendous. I was screaming, crying, vomiting, begging for the pain to stop. I remembered I had some codeine and took 2 about 5.30, my god did that take the edge off. Was lying on the bathroom floor around 6 zonked and my partner walks in with a little birthday cake and candles (I’m 27 today) god bless him, I blew out my candles. He didn’t leave my side the entire time. Think he felt useless but him being there holding me was enough.

I went to my hospital appointment at 8.30, and I can’t fault any of the staff. They was all so lovely - the sonographers, midwife and blood taker. So understanding and gentle. They scanned me and said that they couldn’t see a baby, that it had already started breaking down - asked if I had been in a lot of pain - yes last night!!!! Must have been me passing some of baby?? I asked would I say anything whole. They said most likely not as it’s breaking away. Really sad :( but I felt almost relieved. I’ve been taken codeine on the dot now to manage, and have a hot water bottle, we’ve just ordered pizza for my birthday meal as we was suppose to go out. The midwife said some women pass things whole and others don’t, i said I haven’t even noticed huge clots and she said some don’t you’re just probably lucky it’s broken down so much - really grateful for this! The pain hasn’t gotten as bad as it was last night yet, I don’t know if it’s the meds or cos I’ve passed the worst. But praying it doesn’t get like that again… it’s more a heavy period with horrific cramps now.

thank you to everyone for their support. And I’m so sorry to anyone who has to go through this. X

OP posts:
SnookyPook · 13/06/2023 18:44

@midnights0 well done lovely it's such a horrible thing to go through - you are doing so well ❤️ Having had both a labour and a MC I can confirm that the MC loss was like labour cramps so you've done really well coping with that when you've never been through a birth. I'm so sorry you're having to go through this and on your birthday as well. Your partner sounds like a sweetheart and I'm glad he's looking after you so well. Hold each other, feel the sadness, and know that you will come out the other side but this little one will always hold a place in your heart. I hope the physical side of things doesn't go on too much longer for you. Then you can start properly grieving and recovering. Lots of love and hugs. ❤️

Louise349 · 14/06/2023 01:29

I'm going through the same thing . I found out last week at my 12 week scan (there was no baby just a sac) I am due to have a D&C 😢 I'm afraid a D&C will make me infertile

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