No heartbeat at 12 week scan

[LauraIsobel21]

Hello,

I am just looking for some people with similar experiences who may be able to offer me some advice.

I attended my 12 week scan on Wednesday and was told my baby had stopped growing at 11 weeks and there was no heartbeat. This was a particular shock as I'd had an early scan at 9 weeks with strong heartbeat and all looking good.

This is my first pregnancy and I'm 39- I'm petrified this means I'm not able to have children.

The hospital have sent me home for a week to see if the miscarriage happens naturally but I had been seeing a lady privately who does fertility acupuncture and is also a midwife- she thinks a d&c would be best option for me but they don't seem to be offering me that on NHS. I'm really scared about it happening at home. I have light brown spotting and the odd cramp at the moment but it comes and goes. Does anyone have any experience of how long it takes for the spotting to develop into heavier bleeding/miscarriage??

Should I try and find a private hospital where I can have a surgical procedure? Any help much appreciated thank you! I am completely devastated.

Hi there I'm so sorry for your loss .

I had a similar experience in 2019 after seeing a heartbeat. I had surgical management and it was the best decision I could have made. I never miscarried naturally even after waiting 3 weeks. You are absolutely entitled to it on the NHS if this is the route you choose.

To give you the other side, I then fell pregnant 8 months later and have a now almost 3 year old and I had another successful pregnancy last year and have an almost 6 month old.

I'm so sorry for your loss - I would push for medical it can take weeks, and I feel it's kinder on you to have this done.

Mine presented with no heartbeat at 10 wks (had early scan because of bleeding)was able to let it pass naturally which happened at 13 wks….was just like having a heavy period but with a more solid part. I conceived 2 months later (age 39)and went to term with my second baby. As you are already bleeding hopefully it will happen spontaneously.

@prayforthecottransfer thank you so much for your kind words and for sharing your experience.
I am definitely going to phone the last at the EPU on Monday morning and ask about surgical options. I am so afraid that because this has happened this time that it means I cannot carry a baby till term so it's so so encouraging to hear you went on to have healthy pregnancies.

@dreamonlucid thanks for the advice. I have an appointment for medical management on Wednesday if things don't happen naturally before then. I was just as afraid of the medical option as waiting for it to happen naturally to be honest but perhaps it won't be as distressing as I imagine. At the end of the day there's no nice way to deal with this.

@holaholiday thank you so much for sharing your experience- nice to read someone's experience of it happening naturally that isn't a horror story. I am just very nervous about coping with blood loss etc at home but perhaps it won't be as bad as I imagine. Also, really nice to hear you went on to have a healthy pregnancy at same age as me- at the moment I'm just feeling doomed so this is so encouraging to hear, thank you

So sorry. It's absolutely shit. I had 2 MC last year and would 100% go for D&C having experienced both options. I am now 35 weeks pregnant, so although it may not seem like it right now, there is hope x

@Mama2be23 you're right, it is absolutely shit! There is no nice way out of this situation but thank you for sharing your experience that the surgical option was best for you. Also, lovely to hear your positive story about your current pregnancy❤️

@LauraIsobel21 Check out the worst girl gang ever on Instagram, they have a good podcast too. Found they offered good advice/support x

I’m so sorry for your loss. It truly is awful. I went for an early scan Monday, my 12 week scan was due on the Friday. But I was spotting brown. Only to be told my baby stopped growing at 8+3, I’d had a scan at 8 week exactly and seen the heartbeat. Heartbreaking. I started to miscarry that night - the Monday just gone. It started with cramps, around 9pm, then by 1am I was having full blown contractions, vomiting and diarrhoea, the pain was horrendous for me. I was really scared. It lasted about 5 hours then I took some codeine and it calmed down. Went to the hospital that morning and they said they couldn’t see a baby anymore as it had started to break down and come away. I didn’t see anything, it was just blood. Just had bad cramps and normal bleeding since (2 days later) I wasn’t offered d&c or tablet as mine started naturally. I’m feeling really numb, but I know I’ll get through it with my fiancé, and you will too x

@midnights0 I'm so sorry for your loss. Like you, I'm finding it so hard to accept after having heard the heartbeat at 9 weeks. I wanted this baby so badly and I'm worried that it will be difficult to get pregnant again or that I will miscarry again especially as I am 39. I wish you a speedy recovery and here's hoping there are better times ahead x

@LauraIsobel21 I'm so sorry to hear about your loss. It truly is awful. I'm 27 but convinced I can't carry children after having 2 miscarriages, my fiancé is 40 this year so I understand about running out of time. 2 months of thinking we was going to be parents to have it ripped away after seeing the heartbeat is beyond cruel. Wouldn't wish it on anyone