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Miscarriage/pregnancy loss

Find support and share your experiences on our Miscarriage forum. See also legal rights and support after baby loss.

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Original poster

missed miscarriage last week..first scan date was today..v.sad

13 replies

lockets24 · 19/02/2008 08:23

i have spent a while reading the other posts here and it is such a comfort to know that people are so supportive and can truly understand.
Last tuesday having been really sick on mon (no blood nothing like that) i went to Dr who straight away sent me to EPU at hospital, EVENTUALLY saw the sonographer who did an internal scan (i was supposed to be 11 weeks exactly) and when i saw the sreen DH and i knew there was something wrong there was the tiniest little blob and we were told that the baby had died at 6 weeks 2 days we have never cried so much, i had an ERPC last wed, took the rest of the week off, but today was supposed to be our first scan and i feel terrible i feel cheated out of the 5 weeks i thought i was pregnant when really my baby was gone and we had begun to think we had got to 12 weeks with no problems.
I work with children and am dreading today, it was supposed to be so happy yet i could not feel more sad.
anyway i really have gone on too long so thank you to anyone who reads this..i just needed to tell someone how i was feeling.

lockets
xx

OP posts:

2littlemonkeys · 19/02/2008 10:32

So sorry to hear your news, i have never been through it myself but want to send ((((((((((((((big hugs)))))))))))))

berolina · 19/02/2008 10:41

I am so very sorry. I have had three mcs ad milestones of all kinds are hard.

mandy10 · 19/02/2008 12:40

So sorry sweetheart.
I too had a silent miscarriage in July. We went for routine scan. We thought I was 18 weeks but they said baby had died at 13 weeks. I know how you are feeling within a couple of months of my miscarrIage two of my sisters became pregnant.One due in may the other in june. I am dreading it I don't know how I am going to cope.

Sending you big hugs stay strong.

ktnixon · 19/02/2008 13:44

Hi, just wanted to say how sorry i am, i had a missed miscarriage 3 weeks ago and had to go for an ERPC. I would have been 9 weeks pregnant! I think i was still in shock, as it didnt really sink in properly until about 2 days after the operation!!I am now back at work and do feel better as it takes my mind off it slightly! but am sure it will be harder if you have to work with children.
The nurse told me that it was just one of them things and they couldnt tell me why it had happened or what had caused it. This didnt make me feel any better either!!

You will start to feel normal again (well as normal as you can be) Take Care xx

pinkdolly · 19/02/2008 14:24

Oh Lockets- I'm so sorry for you. I almost had the exact same experience last month. Like you I was 11 weeks pg. Found out that our little one died at 7 weeks.

For me it was the worst thing I have ever been through. I cried so hard for days. And the following weeks were very bad for me.

I found talking on here helped me so much. Even if you repeat yourself over and over again, it helps to let it all out. I also found some space alone helped me (but everyone is different on this).

I know the cliche that it will get better wont mean a lot to you at the moment when it hurts so much. But it really will, I have found this last week that I am back to my normal bubbly self. Not a day goes by though that I dont think of what i've lost and feel a bit sad.

I hope you have people around to support you, you really need strength and encouragement at the moment.

Sending you a big {{{{hug}}}}.

Pink

scotlass · 19/02/2008 20:41

Lockets, I'm so so sorry for your loss.
I too am in the same boat as you, mc in July 2007 at 7wks then elation led to devastation to be told in Jan at 11+wks baby had died at 9wks . 4 weeks on and back at work feels slightly surreal like it was a horrible dream and maybe it didn't happen but life keeps on and you will start feeling less pain. The sadness about your lost little one won't leave but the horrible gut wrenching pain will dull. Thinking of you at this saddest of times

Original poster

lockets24 · 19/02/2008 22:00

i feel overwhelmed at your support scotlass that is exactly how it feels gut wrenching pain it seems already people have moved on but i seem totally stuck its like my head stopped working last tuesday.
pinkdolly ktnixon mandy10 berolina thank you for sharing your stories i feel so much less alone and comforted that i should net be in this crazy rush to forget last week ever happened and pull myself together.

thank you so much

lockets
xx

OP posts:

scruffy1995 · 19/02/2008 22:07

I feel for you. I had a miscarriage at what I thought was 10 weeks, but baby had died at 6. It is a terrible feeling. I was mucked about by the hospital and so wasn't sure I had actually miscarried for a whole week which was horrible. It doesn't mean that every pregnancy will end this way though as I now have had a baby girl with no complications.
Big hug to you.
xx

colacubes · 19/02/2008 22:24

Lockets, I,m so sorry to hear you lost your precious little one, I lost a baby at 8 weeks, I know the heartache is overwhelming, but I wrote my little one a letter, telling him(?) I loved him, and was so sorry I could never have met him, but he had brought me so much joy in the few weeks he was with me. That was 17 years ago, and I still have that letter, and I still think of him.

My heart goes out to you, be brave, and scruffy is right, its not a reflection of how future pregnancies will go, I have 2 beautiful children whom I cherish. A big hug to you, x

Lar · 19/02/2008 23:33

I'm so sorry Lockets, it is such a horrible thing to go through.
I could have written your post myself, I had an ERPC two weeks ago following a missed miscarriage which was picked up on a scan.I was 11 weeks pregnant but the baby had died at 8.
It is the saddest feeling in the world isn't it?
I have decided to plant a rose bush in my garden to remember the little baby that nearly was.
Be kind to yourself. xxxx

Original poster

lockets24 · 20/02/2008 13:59

i have just finished writing my babys letter i had started writing 4 months before we got pregnant and was going to do it all the way through, so obviously its shorter but i feel much better having finished it..i will buy a nice box and pop it in there, writing it really really helped, now if the uncontrollable tears would go perhaps we could start to feel better..

thank you again for your support i am glad i decided to come back to mumsnet, Lar a rose bush is lovely, we have decided to name a star in memory.
hugs to you all

lockets
xx

OP posts:

ktnixon · 22/02/2008 11:32

I think that writing a letter is a lovely idea, & naming a star.

I suppose i am lucky in a way that i already have a 3 year old daughter who has really helped me feel better. If it wasnt for her i would have been far worse. Although it didnt make it any easier at the time as we really wanted another baby. It hasnt put me off trying again although we are going to wait now till we have been on holiday in July to maybe start trying again. Will see how we feel.

xxx

Gemzooks · 25/02/2008 22:34

lockets, sending you support, I had the same in January, no heartbeat at 12 week scan. All I can say is, give yourself plenty of time and just do some nice things for yourself. It is very hard. we're all here for you on mn!

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