Coping with grief - Trigger warning

[Usergrey]

Morning all. I lost a severely disabled baby at 20 weeks last year, had to give birth etc. Took nearly 5 years after being told we’d never have biological children, then surprisingly found out I was pregnant, sadly it wasn’t meant to be. I don’t think I want to try again as this has turned my world upside down. I’m completely grief stricken.. I know other people go through a lot worse, but I just can’t cope. Babies and pregnant women upset me to the point I have to leave shops, restaurants etc, and Ive had the most awful nightmares for over a year now about what happened (I can’t go into detail it’s too upsetting) where I wake up screaming, crying, struggling for breath and the bed is soaked in sweat. I was hoping they’d just go as time went on but they seem to be getting worse.. I’ve had counselling but Im unsure as to whether I need to back? Has anyone experienced anything like this? Thank you for reading x

Sorry for your loss x

It sounds like post traumatic stress. Have you had any support in real life?

Hi OP, I'm so sorry for your loss. I have experience the loss of a baby (40 weeks) and it was a few years ago now and I found it really hard to see other people pregnant, pregnancy announcements, newborns. I still do to some degree. I had counselling at the time and then went back a year or so ago. It sounds like you may benefit from it. Have you been in touch with Sands or ARC charities? I found Sands to be a huge support and I'm still friends with some of the people I met. It's really helpful to have a support group of friends who understand even if just to say something like "really could have done without the pregnancy announcement today" when other people might not get that.

One year is still early days and if you don't feel ready to have another child now (or ever) then that's understandable but I can also see how that might be painful too.

@FishChipsMushyPeas no I haven’t really. I had counselling at the time that was over the phone. I’ll look into seeing someone face to face, thank you x

@Bunnichick I’m so sorry for your loss. Thank you for sharing, I have dealt with ARC a lot, they were amazing. I haven’t contacted Sands but will look into it, thank you. It does sound nice having a support group where everyone knows exactly how you’re feeling. I struggle talking about what’s happened, I’m just trying to just move on and get on with things but these nightmares are just something else.