Miscarriage when underweight / Coping Mechanisms

[BexKate]

Hi,

I’m wondering if anyone has had a similar experience to me or has any helpful coping mechanisms they can share.

My first, longed for, pregnancy resulted in a missed miscarriage discovered on a 10 week scan in February. I think I’ve also just had a chemical pregnancy/ very early loss last week too.

When we conceived I’d be classed as an underweight BMI. I feel extremely guilty that this could have contributed to the miscarriage and chemical pregnancy. None of the medical professionals I’ve spoken to have said this was the cause, but everything I’ve read online lists being underweight as a risk factor for miscarriage.

Do you think we should wait until my weight is in the ‘healthy’ BMI category before we try again? I’m about 3kg less than the minimum BMI to be classed as ‘healthy’ for my height. I am so desperate to start a family, but also desperate to avoid another miscarriage.

How do any of you who have experienced miscarriages cope when feeling sad and emotional? And how do you stop comparing yourselves to friends/family/ colleagues who already have children or are pregnant?

Thanks if you’re reading this & sorry if you’ve had a lot pregnancy loss too.

I'm so sorry for your loss. I also had a miscarriage just over 3 weeks ago.
I think you should speak to your doctor about your bmi, it might be that it's not an issue at all and I couldn't possibly say.
That being said, my coping mechanism so far has been to focus on improving my nutrition and fitness for fertility. I've just read the book It Starts With The Egg and I'm making some changes based on the recommendations there. I don't want or need to lose or gain weight but it's a challenge trying to eat less carbs and more protein.
For me I think this gives me a sense of control. Maybe the goal of gaining 3 kilos could do the same for you, but I hope you can do it without too much additional guilt or stress.
I hope you can find ways to cope and that you have a healthy pregnancy soon.

I would say the same as honkthehonk. My first pregnancy i was underweight and actually lost weight due to sickness in the pregnancy and i have a healthy baby girl who was born at 40 weeks. My second pregnancy i was classed as perfect bmi and had a missed miscarriage. I think sometimes with miscarriage it's one of those things that it could be linked but could have nothing to do with that at all. I would try and eat healthier and exercise a bit more. Try and eat nutrient dense foods.

Thank you both for your messages.

@Hankthehonk I’ve just read a preview of that book you mentioned, It Starts With The Egg, it sounds really helpful, I like how scientific it is. The changes you’re making based on it sound like a really positive and healthy way to gain a sense of control back. I think your idea of setting a health related goal of gaining weight sounds like a good approach that I’m definitely going to try. I hope you have a healthy pregnancy soon too & I’m sorry for your loss.

@Zen8 that’s interesting to hear your experiences. I think you’re right and there must be lots of factors at play that determine whether or not you miscarry, not just BMI/weight. I guess it’s probably still beneficial not to be too underweight before a pregnancy starts as like you experienced, the sickness can cause you to lose weight. I’m sorry for your loss & hope you have a healthy pregnancy too if you’re still trying.

I was very underweight with my successful pregnancy. I'm now a bit heavier and am having a miscarriage.

It might be that you are searching for reasons why this happened and this is why you are turning on yourself - but please don't beat yourself up. Doctors have confirmed this isn't the issue

Hi I’m so sorry for your loss. I had a miscarriage this week at 10 weeks and the same thought crossed my mind as I was underweight when I conceived too. I lost a lot of weight after breastfeeding my first babies and never put it back on. I also have been googling and read that being underweight can be a risk factor. I am trying to reason with myself though that the risks probably relate more to people who are severely underweight. Also many people lose a lot of weight in the first trimester as they are so sick they can’t keep anything down and people do have successful pregnancies in all manner of situations, war/famines etc. One of my main pregnancy symptoms was feeling hungry as well and I put the lost weight back on very quickly so I think your body just makes up for what’s lost: if it needs more food/energy it tells you to eat more than you would usually to make up for it.

I’m sorry you’re going through this, I think it’s natural to blame ourselves in this situation. Be kind to yourself 💐

Sorry for your losses too @libertybonds and @Problematicpotato.

@Problematicpotato Thank you for being so understanding. I think you’re right about the stats being more related to severely underweight women, especially based on Drs/healthcare people’s responses to my concerns about it. And that’s true about pregnant women in war/famine situations. Hope you are doing ok and being kind to yourself too. And hope your first babies are helping you to get through this 💕.