Jealousy - do I want another baby? DC1 stillborn, DC2 nearly 2

[Bunnichick]

I wasn't sure where to post this as I'm not sure what the root of the issue is.

I am late 30s.

DC1 was stillborn at 40 weeks.

DC2 is nearly 2.

I always wanted 2 children. I have had 2 but only one of them is here. I don't feel like I want another at the moment but part of me feels my family is incomplete. I'm aware that it may always feel incomplete as one of my children died. DH doesn't want another but has an older child from a previous relationship so has 2 living children. If I were younger then I might not worry about it and see how I feel in a few years but time isn't on my side in that sense.

While I can't see myself pregnant any time soon (I can't imagine TTC right now - we hated DTD at all) I find I feel a bit jealous when others announce second pregnancies. It is partly just the fact that one of my children died and I'm still said about this. I should have 2 children here with me. I'll always feel this a little maybe. Do I also want another? I may still feel that something is missing as I would still be missing one.

I'm trying to make sense of these feelings that come up when I hear of others' pregnancies while also not dwelling on it as I have so much to be thankful for and I know that. I wonder whether anyone has felt the same.

I just want to say how sorry I am for your loss, I can't imagine what you've gone through. I'm sorry I came to this forum after a miscarriage this weekend, I have no advice but I'm thinking of you x

Thank you @Letterbox22 I am sorry for your loss as well. How are you doing?

I am so sorry OP. It must be really hard to be grieving your baby yet having to focus on the decision about getting pregnant again because of timing.
I suppose you need to think how you want to feel moving into the future, whether you want your child to have another sibling , whether you want to be a mother to another child.
I have had an early miscarriage but a stillbirth at forty weeks is completely different, I have never been in your position. I do have a sibling who lost an older child though, so I have some sense of the grief and I am so sorry that you lost your baby.

I'm doing well thank you so much for asking! I hope you are okay. Take care and best wishes x