Miscarriage remains

[Enfys1]

I had surgical management of a MMC on Tuesday. I thought I was 14 weeks but miscarried at 9+5.

I have got myself in a terrible state and am really stressing about what to do with the remains when I get them back, it’s all I can think about. I feel like the baby needs to stay with me but I know that is impossible and ridiculous.

I can’t bury them in the garden as we have a little terrace. I thought about a plant pot but I know nothing about gardening and am worried about what would happen if the plant died. I also don’t like the thought of it being outside in the cold. I did think about putting them in the sea as we live by the beach, but I think this is illegal and I wouldn’t want anything washing up and traumatising anyone else.

I was wondering if anyone who has been through similar has any advice or managed to do something which helped bring them comfort or closure.

For our 4th loss. The only one I got far enough with. Our nursery would've been Peter Rabbit themed. The remains of our Baby is inside a Peter Rabbit soft toy and sits on my dressing table.

Could you get the remains cremated and get the ashes made into something, scatter the ashes somewhere or just keep them?

Someone that I know choose not to have the remains but named the baby and got their name put on the baby memorial wall at the local cemetery.

I had a MMC at 11 weeks but it all happened naturally so I had no remains (there was nothing that looked like a baby in what came out of me). I bought an item of jewellery to remember by angel by.

Sorry for your loss. I never got anything back after mine. I prefer to think her earthly remains arent as significant as she is, as she with me always in spirit. Even after decades.

Ask at your local miscarriage support group what people have done in your area?

Perhaps ask at the crematorium if there is somewhere or somehow you could do something? If you could cremate then ashes could be scattered by a memorial tree. You might have to buy a plot if you wish a burial though.

I’m so sorry for your losses ❤️.

That is such a beautiful idea. Did you use a company? I’ve googled but can’t find anything.

I was told that before the surgical management ours would be sent to the local crematorium and they held a monthly service for parents. Somebody would call me about it. Nobody did and I didn’t quite have the courage to ask why it never happened so I just bought myself a necklace, something to remember that baby by and keep close.