Where to start.
I feel like I need to write this down in order to help process what’s happened.
Yesterday I came into the EPU for my second early scan due to bleeding early on as they could not see anything in my uterus a week ago but said it may be too early, I was sent away with a pregnancy of unknown location.
My HCG levels rose as they would be expected with a normal pregnancy so I still had hope. Re scan yesterday and I knew there was something wrong, the lady was taking a long time and clicking away taking photos of the scan. She turned to us and said I’m really sorry but I can’t see anything in your uterus but I can see a pregnancy in your right fallopian tube. I needed surgery to remove the tube and pregnancy.
From there it happened so fast, doctors came consent forms handed to me and I was told I needed surgery that day. They then told me that the pregnancy was a ‘thriving live’ pregnancy with a heart beat and I just can’t get my head or my heart around this. I am so sad my heart is hurting. Our little baby that could have been was beating away inside me but just in the wrong place. I feel like my body has failed I have already had one normal pregnancy why did I fail this baby?
I am sore, and my emotions are all over the place.
I feel lucky that my instinct knew something wasn’t quite right and that we caught this early enough before a rupture apparently I was leaking blood inside and the tube was very tight.
I think I will find this forum and all of the information on it helpful for my recovery and grieving process I wasn’t prepared for all of these questions thoughts and emotions.
They said my other tube is healthy but I’m at risk of another ectopic again, I honestly can’t think about that right now and ag this moment I’m not sure I could put my body, my husband and my little boy through this again. But then I can’t bear the thought of not having another child.
Thank you for reading