Preparing for a missed misscarriage advice

[Jessicaemilie96]

hi I’m just looking for advice/experiences with missed miscarriage and the ways in which you chose to go. Background story I know for an absolute fact I am 7+1 due to knowing for sure when I ovulated. I had an early private reassurance scan last night which obviously didn’t reassure me atall and I am very certain a miscarriage is coming as not only was I measuring 2 weeks behind at 5+2 but they couldn’t find a heartbeat, of course they told me not to panic yet as I could be behind but I just know that’s not possible, I have a scan next Tuesday with epu and I am not holding onto hope of anything being different as I know what to expect due to the negative scan. I’m just wondering if I will be given options of what I want to do next, if I want to let it pass naturally which didn’t go well for me last year when I had a previous miscarriage and I had many heavy pv bleeds over 8 weeks one being at work and it just seemed to drag on for so long and that just made the whole process even worst. So if I’m offered a d&c I’m tempted to take it but also have heard It can cause damage which worries me a little. So I’m just looking for other peoples experiences and if anyone has any positive rainbow baby stories for future hope that would be lovely to hear too. Thank you. Also sorry if this is here there and everywhere I guess I’m also processing it as I’m typing it.

I’m sorry OP. It’s an awful limbo situation to be in. Don’t forget that while you might know ovulation, you don’t necessarily know implantation unless you had IVF, so it could still be viable potentially.

FWIW, I had surgical management and then conceived a month later. It’s not actually a D&C, it’s vacuum extraction which is essentially identical in terms of procedure to early termination - and the vast majority of women who want to conceive after termination are able to do so.

I'm so sorry you're going through this, it's very very hard. I'm a little bit further on than you are now - we had 3 weeks of scans where they could detect a heartbeat but the pregnancy was measuring behind by 2 weeks.

If and when your pregnancy does stop developing, all your options will be explained and you'll be given time to decide what you want to do. I decided to wait a week and see if it happened naturally - it hasn't and I'm now booked in for surgery tomorrow.

I think there is a small risk of scarring, which is known as Asherman's Syndrome. It can stop you from becoming pregnant in future and one of the symptoms is periods not returning. I've heard from various sources that the NHS isn't great at investigating this so I'm preparing to push hard or go privately if my periods don't return pronto. It can be treated very successfully with another procedure.

I really hope you're OK. The waiting around for news is so stressful. Take care of yourself ♥️

So sorry OP. I had similar. I knew exactly when I'd ovulated, knew when I got the positive pregnancy test, but was measuring behind, the Clear Blue indicator wasn't going up as expected in terms of number of weeks and when they did finally get a heartbeat for the embryo, it was far slower than it should have been, so I knew the pregnancy wasn't viable.

In the end I started to miscarry naturally, before my scan with the EPU, but ended up with some small amount of retained product so had a D&C. The D&C was absolutely fine, no issue at all, and the medical staff were lovely. I then conceived my DD two months later.

Thinking of you. It's such a horrible situation to be in.

@Tygertiger @DappledOliveGroves thank you so much for your responses and I’m so sorry that you can both relate to this but glad you went onto have successful pregnancies. It is horrendous and the waiting makes it so much worst. As much as I want to cling onto hope I know that it’s very unlikely to be good news and I have come to accept that as painful as it is but at least I can keep some hope that next time might be different.

@countrypunk thank you! Im so sorry you’re also going through similar. I hope tomorrow goes as well as it can, it is just such an awful thing to have to go through physically and mentally, sending so much love ♥️

Hi I'm so sorry you're going through this. I've had three missed miscarriages and had surgery every time with no regrets at all. It was by far the quickest and easiest option for me and allowed me to move on and in two cases conceive again a month or two later.

For clarity I had three m/c after DD1 - two missed and one just early. Then had DD2 and then one more early m/c and finally the last mmc. At which point I called it a day and stuck with two!

But as you can see I had no trouble conceiving after the ERPCs.

Hi OP, I’m so sorry you are experiencing this. I went through the same last January. I was 10 weeks and has the slightest drop of blood and went to get checked out as something felt off. I had the limbo wait of a week between scans but was measuring at 7 weeks with no HB. It was awful but the MVA (surgery via suction) was very successful and not too stressful as my body just didn’t want to let go of the pregnancy. Healing time was minimal, a few period type cramps for 24/48 hours after then period returned 28 days after that. Wishing you all the very best ❤️

Hi @Jessicaemilie96 , I am really sorry you are going through this - it is tough.

I had a missed miscarriage at 9ish weeks in January. When I went to the EPU I had a scan done to confirm (I’d had a private scan done already) and then was offered 3 options, to wait for it to happen naturally, medial management or surgical management.

I opted for medical management which they were able to do that day. My bloods and observations were done and then a suppository was inserted by the nurse. I had to stay an hour after this for monitoring. I was given heavy duty pain relief and anti sickness tablets to take home.

I think length of time for bleeding to start varies but for me it was about 6 hours after. I didn’t take the pain relief until it started and that was a mistake! The pain was the worst I’ve experienced (I’ve never given birth)…I bled really heavily for a few days and was in pain for a few days. The bleeding for lighter after that but lasted for over 2 weeks. Because of that I had to go back for another scan to check everything had passed.

I went for that option as I wanted to minimise risk of scarring and I think mentally I wanted to have some physical signs it had happened. I’d waited a few days for it to happen naturally and it didn’t so I didn’t want the uncertainty.

It was really painful so don’t underestimate that.

my period came back about 2 weeks after the bleeding stopped and I ovulated after that.

It is a really personal decision so take your time. Whatever you choose look after yourself, rest and do what you can to try and cheer yourself up.

Hi @Jessicaemilie96 really sorry you’re going through this. I had MMC end Feb like you baby was measuring 2 weeks behind and had a slower heartbeat, I was absolutely sure of my dates (I use the flo app and am religious with logging my period) so I knew it wouldn’t end positively for me.

The midwives/doctors were all so lovely and explained my options to me, I opted for d&c under GA as to be completely honest I just wanted it over quickly as possible and I wanted to be knocked out and not know what was happening. The procedure was fine it’s been 2 weeks still no sign of my period and I have a faint like on a pregnancy test so I need to call the hospital about this. I only had very light bleeding for a couple of days after and felt back to ‘myself’ within a few days (physically that is).

Just go with the option that feels right for you, and look after yourself it’s such a horrible thing to go through.

sending hugs 💕

I am so sorry you are going through this. The limbo land is awful…. I had a missed miscarriage at 12 weeks. I couldn’t decide what to do after having no heart beat detected by scan so went home. Then miscarried at home before the next
appointment. Unfortunately not all the ‘products’ as they put it -were removed naturally so I had to have them removed which was really difficult and upsetting. The only good thing is I did conceive 6 months later and have a gorgeous rainbow baby. Was nervous throughout that pregnancy but feel very grateful. I hope you do too x sending strength and support x

Hello @Jessicaemilie96 I thought I'd update because I had my surgery yesterday. I feel completely physically normal this morning and have had minimal bleeding so far.

I was on a small ward with about 5 other women having similar procedures. The nurses were all women too and absolutely lovely. I had to go in at 7:30am to get settled on the ward and go through some pre op stuff. You meet the nurses, the surgeon and the anaesthetist. Then you wait!

It was quite a long day and I didn't have my surgery till 3pm. That was only because of a backlog from the strikes and another woman who had quite a long operation.

I've never had a GA before and was quite nervous. I was also quite tearful and the doctors were amazing. Lots of hand and head stroking. I fell asleep, had a nice dream and woke up in recovery. I had some period pain and the nurse gave me strong painkillers right away. Little bit of bleeding. Then a cup of tea and a biscuit and my partner picked me up an hour later.

I felt quite woozy until I went to bed, and this morning I feel right as rain. I wouldn't hesitate to pick surgical management again. I think the best thing about it is that you're in a hospital surrounded by trained care givers and feel completely safe.

Take care and good luck whatever you decide. Lots of love.

I should say of course you don't have your operation on the ward - that happens in theatre!

Hi OP, hope you’re doing ok. I had exactly the same scenario as you - knew I was 7+1, scanned at 5+2. I couldn’t get an EPU scan, so you’re a step ahead of me. I miscarried naturally at 9 weeks, which based on my experience I wouldn’t recommend as I bled so heavily I ended up in hospital for a bit. I’d choose surgical management personally. I got pregnant again within six months, that all went perfectly and rainbow baby is a happily obnoxious toddler!

Thank you everyone so much for your responses. i am fairly sure now, after hearing all your experiences I’m going to go for the surgical procedure to get it over with and not drag it on longer than necessary!

@countrypunk thank you for updating at what must be a hard time, I am so glad it went okay for you, it’s definitely the best option for me too Hopefully now you can begin to recover mentally, well as much as you can from a situation so awful. I hope the future is more positive for you. Sending love xxxx

@Jessicaemilie96 Sending love to you too. It's dreadfully sad and I've cried a lot today. It all feels like part of the healing process though, and I feel positive about the future.

Take care of yourself xxx

I had a D&C 10 years ago and what I did to make sure my uterus was “clean” was I rubbed castor oil over my tummy, placed Saran Wrap over my tummy then a heating pad on top. This cleans you out extra and I think it helped me get pregnant 2 months later when I was cleared to start trying again.

10 years later I just had a mmc and I took pills this time and hoping I don’t need a D&C only because I want to start trying again soon. I don’t want to have the long wait that comes from surgery.

Update I went back for a scan last week with epu and they found a heartbeat and there had been growth, which really confused me as I was sure of my dates but thought maybe I was out a bit. Nope they brang me back today just to make sure and there is no more growth, no heartbeat and she said it’s moving down already. I have opted for the surgery as she thinks I can get it this week. My head is fried because I had accepted it then been given hope and told it was probably okay and I was right all along. I just hope i can get the surgery asap so it’s not dragged out any longer.