Two Consecutive Miscarriages Advice

[3xLL]

Hi all,

I (29F) am a lesbian, currently trying to have a child with my wife. I have been doing natural IUI cycles, and we have had success twice; however, both have resulted in MMC between 6-8 weeks.

After the last miscarriage, we saw our consultant, who suggested as I am 'young, fit and healthy', we should undertake miscarriage tests to try and work out why this is happening. However, it will take at least ten weeks for us to get results and cost over £1250 (the cost of an IUI round). I'd hoped to be able to try again asap, and we aren't allowed to have another IUI until the test results are back if we do choose to go ahead with the tests.

We had already decided after our last MMC to change donors and that we will try aspirin during the next one as we've read about much success on here using a low dosage without much risk.

We are undecided whether to go ahead with the testing at this stage or give the IUI another go as if it were to, unfortunately, happen again, we fall under the recurrent miscarriage badge anyway.

I would appreciate any advice or thoughts/ similar experiences on what we should do.

currently in your exact situation. Started googling for advice and came across your post. What did you guys decide on doing in the end ?
so so sorry for your losses 💕

I would give it one more go if you can cope with it emotionally. It could be that you have just had bad luck. If it happens a third time with a different doner then I would definitely get tge tests done.

Hi longbarn , thanks for the response.
it’s so hard isn’t it.
we have used a different donor since our first miscarriage then when it happened again you can imagine the shock. No signs no symptoms nothing until we went for scans. Heartbreaking.
have you gone through this yourself also? I’m so sorry if you have it’s the most awful journey

I can indeed imagine how shocked you must have been. Awful enough when it happens once but twice, well, no words to describe the pain of that I think!!
We have indeed suffered a similar situation very recently. Nice normal pregnancy, all symptoms in reasonable proportion and everything going well until the 12 week scan. At exactly 12 weeks embryo had no heartbeat and only measured 6 weeks so I do understand the shock and pain.
Through reading through these forums there are quite a lot of people who have had an MMC and there are others who have had more than one. I will be petrified when I conceive again to be honest and will be having very regular early scans.
All that said I still think, if you can emotionally cooe, that trying one more time might be a good idea. Since you have had this ghastly experience twice you will, sadly, be prepared for this to occur again. However, it may well not and that will be fantastic. If it does happen you will have a really good base for moving forward with investigations.
Do let us know how you get on and the very best of luck with whatever decision you make x

Get checked to see if you have MTHFR gene.

Don't take folic acid, take methylfolate- there are whole Facebook groups dedicated to MTHFR and pregnancy

I had two consecutive miscarriages, but went on to have our third time lucky. It will happen soon for you. Xx

I was third time lucky and know lots of people who were the same.
Good luck, it’s really tough I know x

Thank you for sharing , it is a shock isn’t it. I think it’s something you replay in your head every day. I am so sincerely sorry for everything that happened to you.
you’re right tho , no matter when that fear will be there.

I will update on our journey as it goes , thanks for your support and for sharing your experience. It feels less isolating and lonely knowing others are going through this with us. Although I’d never wish it on a single soul

I’m so sorry to hear that, but massive congratulations on your third attempt that’s wonderful and really a positive story I appreciate it very much.
if you don’t mind me asking, you don’t have to answer of course. Was there any difference with your third pregnancy ? Or anything you think made a change?

Thank you that’s so nice and congratulations! I’m hoping that’s going to be our outcome too. I feel we were so cautious and done everything right our first two times around , I feel I’m looking to do something different but maybe thats just what your head does to you and maybe there is nothing different to be done. Honestly I’ve never lost this much sleep before playing out different outcomes. I can see how people go mad from this.
im so sorry for your losses but inspired to hear you had a good outcome 🥰