Twin stopped growing - Heartbroken

[Happyface82]

Title says it all really. I was pregnant with twins after undergoing IVF. We were over the moon as it was the only blastocysts we had. Don't know if we'll be able to fall again.

Saw both heartbeats at 7 weeks, thought chances were on our side. Went in today at 10+4 and one of the twins stopped growing at 8 weeks. Seeing it on the screen was devastating. I'm feeling so guilty as we are not celebrating the other one but instead I'm grieving. Not sure how to feel.

Measured 11+4 today so was told to go back next week for the 12 week scan and a CVS to check the other baby. Really worried about the procedure and the outcome.

Feeling a bit lost. Thank you for reading.

That must be heart breaking. Fertility journeys can be very cruel. Do you have people in real life to support? Cry on?

I'm so sorry, life is so unfair sometimes. Sometimes there's no reason and sometimes the baby is just poorly. Neither really make sence and that's OK too. Its unfair either way and terribly sad

I'm so sorry for your loss. It must be so hard.

Thank you both. Hubby is being wonderful and have some good friends. I'm lucky. Just feeling really lost right now. And super worried about the other one. If all is ok with the CVS I guess I'll relax a little bit.

I am so sorry to hear about the loss of your twin @Happyface82 . I had twins and lost my eldest daughter very shortly after birth. So different circumstances but I understand the sense of guilt you mention about not celebrating one due to grieving. Be kind to youself as much as you can. You will know what the right thing to do is. for you and your family Sending a big hug to you and wishing you well.

@Happyface82 how are you now? I’ve just had my 12 week scan to find out that one of the twins has a severe brain abnormality but other is fine. Have to go to see a specialist about our options but so terrified and life seems so unfair. We’ve also had 2 miscarriages and over 5 years of TTC, these were IVF so it all seems very cruel right now x

Oh @Lucy5yearsttc I'm so sorry to read this. ☹️ You must be terrified of it all. For us it was heartbreaking but least we didn't have to worry about the next steps. I'm feeling better - though in my head I always think of this as a twin pregnancy. Still makes me sad but definitely feeling better than the first couple of weeks.

When do you see the specialist? Hope it's soon so you can get a plan. Do keep me updated. Sending big hugs 🤗

@Happyface82 thank you 😊 scan is on Thursday. Very nervous but can’t keep thinking about it until we know the facts.
how far along are you now? Glad you’re feeling better, I’m sure the feeling of loss never goes away. X

@Lucy5yearsttc will be thinking of you!

I'll be 14 weeks on Thursday. Had CVS done and all is good so feeling a little more relaxed about it all. Also found out we are having a little girl 😍 (my son wasn't very impressed haha)

What an insensitive thing to say to a person who has lost a much longed for potential child.

@LysHastighed I missed that 😕

@Happyface82 aw a girl! Congratulations! He’ll have to get used to it 😆
thank you, will update x

I’m glad you didn’t have to read it, please don’t waste time thinking about it, people are weird and stupid

@Lucy5yearsttc good luck today!! Will be thinking of you.

@Lucy5yearsttc Hope you are ok

Hey, hope you don't mind me joining in. I found out last week (after an early scan due to brown spotting) that I have a twin pregnancy (after 5 years of trying, though no fertility treatment) - both in the same sack so identical. Unfortunately while one was measuring 8 weeks, the other was so small they didn't measure it- though there was a heartbeat. The sonographer said it was very unlikely to make it. I have to go back next week and see what's going on.
So many mixed emotions. Like I feel it's not a miscarriage because there's still one, but there's still a little heartbeat inside me that likely won't be there next time and I'm so worried about the 'remaining' one, Googling far too many horror stories, and feeling guilty for not being happy?

@Elttek I'm so sorry you are going through this. Congrats on the pregnancy though. It's such a rollercoaster of emotions. Please don't feel guilty. Just take the feelings as they come. Soon everything will calm down. For me it was time that helped. Nothing else.

I'm so sorry. You must allow yourself to grieve. The surviving baby has nothing to do with your feelings about your loss. Give yourself space.