I want to try again

[smilesattheweekend]

Hi

I want to try again to have a second baby. I had 2 m/c before having my son who is 4 now, it took us 6 years of trying before he was born. Last year I had a m/c at 8 weeks, I had been bleeding and had a scan and saw the heartbeat, that afternoon I went to the loo and everything came out (sorry tmi). We went the the m/c clinic who did some blood tests but they were quite dismissive and said to take 5mg of folic acid which they gave me a prescription for. I then got pg again but the week before my scan (at 7 weeks) I lost it. I don't feel the consultant at the MC clinic has done all the tests etc as I am sure there might be something to do with clotting and I understand that you should have two tests for this and even then it might go unmissed. I want to try again but should I speak to some medical person first - I am not keen on the consultant at the clinic but don't know what to do for the best. I don't want to keep trying and losing them. I know there are no clear answers and why the M/c happened and I don't expect someone to wave a magic wand and it be ok, so I am not sure what I need! Very confused at the moment.

I'm so sorry for your losses.I don't have advice unfortunately as I've only recently had my 2nd mc and haven't wanted to research too much yet - too raw. There was another thread on MN somewhere about a book which was very good about recurrent mc and I'm sure someone else will post about it. I have insisted that I won't be trying again without some sort of post mc and pre conception support from my local EPU and the two times I went for scan before ERPC 2wks ago they were really good. They did take bloods from both me and DH but to be honest all that sunk in was they were checking for chromosones and lupus antibody something - not very clear but I was in shock at the time!

What a shame the consultant isn't being very supportive, I do think they see mc as so common that they don't really want to do extensive testing till you've had 3 mc in a row. Certainly doesn't help your emotional well being though and is difficult to process in the early stages.

Thanks scotlass. I did read the book you are on about and it really helped (lesley reagan book). I just don't think I should be left to go through it all again. I saw the consultant after mc3 and informed them when I got pg again. I had to cancel the scan as I knew I had lost number 4 I thought I would have been given an appointment or something to go back for a checkup and a chat but have heard nothing. Maybe I should make an appointment. I just don't want to go and feel more disappointment when they don't do anything! Maybe a chat with my GP first might be better.

Your EPU sounds quite supportive.

X

Smiles

smilesathe weekend - i am 6 weeks pregnant and fear another m/c. i had 2 m/c before having my 11 month son. i spoke ot gp about it and if yuo have had a child in between m/c there is no tests as it proves yuoo can actually conceive and carry a child ot term. sometimes it is just bad luck. i have accepted this, and if i m/c i will no doubttry again soon after. all i can say is keep trying as it will happen. my go said there is no point having early scans as if you are going ot m/c there really is nothing you can do about it. i jsut hate the waiting as mylast m/c was a mm/c so did nto find out until scan as had not bled and i am sure this is what has happened already but i will have to wait another 6 weeks toconfirm it!

Hi bethoo

You are right. I was offered a scan as reassurance for the two mc last year. I had accepted that if something was going to go wrong I couldn't change it and have to change my mindset that if I can get to 12 weeks without probs then I would feel better (not totally though). However, if something is wrong I would rather know earlier so it is a catch 22 situation. I find it hard when I am pg to concentrate and invariably start to worry. Each day seems like an eternity and in that respect I dread it. It is such a hurdle to get past the first weeks, both physically and mentally. I think I need to find some way of chanelling my thoughts and try to be positive. When I had my son I bled on and off up to 16 weeks. I hope everything is ok with your pgcy.

smiles - that is exactly how i feel, i would rather have an early scan to make sure it has not been a mm/c! i also bled til week 16 wiht my ds, it was a heamorragh or something like that and i had really heavy bleeds like periods, every weekend i was having bad bleeds (everyday when i wiped there wasfresh blood) and every monday i was having a scan to be told it was hanging in there after i had written it off every weekeend!

Hi everyone, Sorry to hear about your miscarriages. I have had 4 - 2 then 3 children then another 2. I was lucky and was tested after the first 2 and everything came back negative. I am just really on to say that although your gp has said there's no point scanning as it makes no difference to the outcome it does obviously make a difference to how you are feeling. Our Early Pregnancy Unit offers you a scan at 8 1/2 weeks if you have had a previous miscarriage and i'm sure I have seen this as standard practise on the national website. If you have a EPU near you you can phone them direct. [sorry if you already know all this.}

Thanks Springflower. The EPU know me well! They are quite good when I am pg but it is dissappointing the lack of support beforehand and in the first weeks. I can ring them anytime and get a scan booked. I wish that I felt that they have done all the tests etc and I see posts from people that say they have had tests and have been given treatment, even when the tests have been negative. By treatment I mean aspririn and/or heparin. I know by now that the scanning makes no difference to the outcome. I had one miscarriage at 12 weeks, the baby did not make it past 8 weeks. The others were earlier on and I am glad I had the scans as all but one told me the outcome sooner (I didn't have the continual worry as to whether everything was ok or not), if you like, I was put out of my misery sooner. The hardest m/c was seeing the heartbeat after having some bleeding (at 7 weeks) and then going home for everything to be lost the same day. Scans are good as long as you know that you still have a way to go. If it is going wrong, you just know sooner (in most cases obviously). The problem I have is embarking on the journey all over again with limited medical support.

X

Hi smiles. I never got any tests at the EPU either and was just lucky that I had already been attending the infertility clinic which is why they tested me after only 2 mc. I know what you mean about it being harder when you have seen the heartbeat as I had this twice (once there did also seem to be some problems but the other time everything seemed fine and I was totally shocked when I went back to find out it had died). It must have been terrible for you to have felt reassured that things were ok and then find that they werent. I have been lucky to have 3 healthy children and I hope that everything works out for you.

Hi smilesattheweekend

Have you asked your consultant/unit directly about aspirin treatment? - I had 2 mc b4 2nd child got here and I know it's just awful (so sorry for your losses), but we were really lucky with EPU consultant who put me on aspirin (25mg per day) because of personal medical circumstances - don't know if it did any good, but he was really positive even though nothing showed on any blood tests and said it wouldn't do any harm but might help. Could you chat to them/docs about this?

Thoughts are with you and hope everything works out.

Hi bb99

Thanks for that. I wonder, can you tell me a bit more about the aspirin. I had heard a lot about it and took it whilst I was trying to get pg last time. However, i thought I ought to stop taking it when I found out I was pg and I think this was wrong. I think the lack of support medically made me think what the hell - give it a try but then I got cold feet. Did you take it before you got pg and carried on? if so for how long? - I will discuss it with my GP before doing anything this time but a bit of info would be good.

Thanks again.

Smiles

I did this - WITH medical supervision, so PLEASE don't start self - medicating.

I waited 2 cycles before we started trying (again...) and my consultant put me on (sorry wrong in last post) 75mg of aspirin per day (1 small dissolving tablet), to take just as we started trying again. But I cheated and started the month before.

This is the same small amount my dad takes for his heart, it's a teeny dose.

Then I kept on taking it until I was about 35/36 weeks pg when I had my last scan to check growth. I was told to stop then (and did) as aspirin affects your blood clotting (that's the idea, right?) and so in delivery could affect how you bleed etc. I had lots of blood tests and tended to bruise more easily with these and in general when on the aspirin and it can add to early pg bleeding (I think) We certainly had 2 moments.

Consultant was clear that it might not help but wouldn't do any harm to a pg so was worth a shot. My immune system wrecked the placenta in 1 pg and that's why they thought it could help. Do press on with the aspirin concept if you want to - my consultant gave me the initial prescription as my GP was a bit skeptical and un-supportive...

Hope this is a help! Good Luck.

I can understand why you are upset with these miscarriages. It took me 8 years of TTC before I got my baby - and it was not an easy road - an ectopic and a failed IVF along the way. As it is very disappointing to have a miscarriage, why not get it investigated if it keeps happening?

It may be something simple such as a hormone imbalance or even a thyroid problem (I had an underactive thyroid and now take Iodine )- blood tests can be done. Chromosone tests can also be done. You might find your body fights pregnancies off as it sees the baby as a foreign object - tests for this can be done and then put right. It all sounds really scary, but it is not - just more upsetting if miscarriages are frequent, when it could be something that can be put right.

Good luck and we are all here and feel for you.

I am so sorry for your losses. Had three mcs, it is very devastating especially when you don't understand and nobody seems very interested in finding out why. In my first successful pg I took iron tabs before realising too much iron could be bad for the baby, then was recommended Floradex which is a herbal iron supplement. There are recommendations from other pg women who have used it (some rec'd by midwife) but also concern that it contains Angelica. Maybe worth asking your doctor about it or googling it? I'm convinced it help me have my first successful pg but would never recommend anything over and above doctor or midwife, especially a herbal thing, but maybe it's worth asking about.

Thanks for your messages. How do I know that all the right tests etc have been done. I have read about people who should start taking aspirin and heparin (who have had a diagnosis) as soon as they know they are pg. How do I know i should be doing something if it hasn't been looked into. I really don't know what to do, I feel like I should go back to the recurrent MC clinic, but I dont want to look like an fruitcake?