13 plus week abortion/medical termination

[MumOf1boyx]

Hello everyone,

i'm due to have a medical termination in the coming weeks due to the baby being diagnosed with trisomy 21 ( downsyndrome ). Im only 22 and i already have a 10 month old i wont be able to cope. I will be 13 plus weeks when i have the termination. I really want to know what happens to the baby when i have it, what do they do with them ?? do i get to keep them?? i dont know… my head is all over the place and the guilt is eating me alive. Can someone help me please and let me no how there process went. Thank you xx

@MumOf1boyx I'm so sorry that no one has replied to you just yet.

We had to have a TFMR on the 2nd December last year for a brain abnormality. I was further along at just over 25 weeks. Due to the gestation I had no other option that to give birth to our beautiful daughter, which I am so glad I did as it felt like the one thing I could do for her as her mummy. Once she was born we were allowed to stay as long as we wanted with her and we had photos, hand and footprints taken, read her a book and other things. What happened was completely led by us.

Also because of her gestation we legally had to have a funeral, but either way we would have had one. It was obviously very sad but lovely too. We had her cremated and have her at home with us now.

I'm trying to think of anything else that may help you but there is so much to consider at such a traumatic time. Please let me know if you have any specific questions.

Our daughter was my first pregnancy so I can't imagine what it is like with another little one, but they will help you through it x

I'm.very sorry that you find yourself in this position. I had TFMR for T21 at 24 weeks in November 2021. I had to be induced to give birth to my little boy but because of his gestation we had to have the procedure to have his heart stopped. Take things a day at a time. If baby is under 24 weeks you are able to take them home and do as you wish as far as I am aware. Like @whippeywhippet says over 24 weeks they legally are stillborn and have to be registered and properly buried/cremated. We got to spend time with him, have photos and hugs. I am so glad for that time we had. I am in Northern Ireland, don't know about you but I had a bereavement midwife attached to my health care Trust and she was amazing. She was always on the end of the phone every step.of the way and when we were in hospital she called in to ensure we were OK. What you will go through will not be easy, but be kind to yourself and allow yourself to work through your feelings.
Look after yourself and sending hugs x