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Miscarriage/pregnancy loss

Find support and share your experiences on our Miscarriage forum. See also legal rights and support after baby loss.

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Original poster

Can mc be down to the sex of the baby?

24 replies

choolie · 07/02/2008 21:38

My friend had had 7mc, then had DD and has now had another mc. She thinks it is because she can't carry boys and that all the mcs have been boy babies. Can this happen? They are now googling for tips on how to conceive a girl. anybody have any experience of this? Apart from lots of hugs, I don't know what to say on the trying to conceive another girl, incase this isn't it at all.

OP posts:

sleepycat · 07/02/2008 21:39

This reply has been deleted

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whomovedmychocolate · 07/02/2008 21:41

I don't think that's right. The sex is determined by the sperm. What stage is she miscarrying at? Has it been investigated? I know there is a thing where your body starts attacking embryos because of an autoimmune response but don't know much about it I'm afraid. Statistically it'd be unlikely all those mcs were boys though wouldn't it?

MrsEi25 · 07/02/2008 21:44

sorry to hear about your friend
i dont think that there has been any reliable research done into this as the cause of MC but i do know that a family friend has had about 5 MCs and they were interspaced between her 3 DCs she has had a DD, DS and another DD so obv in her case the sex wasnt the issue. she had tests on her eggs when considering IVF for DD2 and they said that she produced 4 eggs and only 1 was considered viable for fertilisation.(she ended up conceiving naturally with DD2) it may be a genetic thing or just down to plain old rotten luck sorry for not being much help but just thought i would post xx
xx ei xx

sweetkitty · 07/02/2008 21:45

Your poor friend that must be so tough 7mcs, has she had an investigation done to try and find out why she is mc-ing? I believe you can have one done once you have had 3 mcs.

I have 2 DDs then a mc and some nice "friend" said maybe it's because I can't carry boys, I do think it's an old wives tale that you can't carry one sex or the other, don't know that much about it sorry.

CalifrauQuoteoftheWeek · 07/02/2008 21:57

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Message withdrawn at poster's request.

Original poster

choolie · 07/02/2008 22:02

thanks all. yes she's had all the tests and they've all come back saying nothing wrong. they've been quite an ordeal as the hospital lost a load of results after 5th, made her go through all tests again, attitude of dr very unsympathetic etc. so I think they've given up hope in medical profession and are just trying whatever they can.

Yes, I did feel it would be unlikely that 8 out of 9 pgs were boys, but I'm wary of saying anything that sounds unsupportive now that they seem to have hope in this, but don't want to be a bad friend by not saying anything if there isn't a lot in this.

OP posts:

BigBadMouse · 07/02/2008 22:10

I have read in a few places that more boys are conceived than girls (I think it was 65% / 35% split) but boys are more likely to be MC'd and so the end result is 51% live boys 49% girls. I have no idea how this was figured out but I remember the source seemed quite a reliable one (sorry don't remember where I read it).

Shettles is the best way to try to determine the sex of yur baby - it is easier to try for a girl than it is a boy using the method so I guess that is helpful for your friends.

I hope your friends get another healthy baby without too much more

Original poster

choolie · 07/02/2008 22:17

thanks BBM.

OP posts:

mymama · 07/02/2008 22:20

Don't know anything scientifically.

I have two step-brothers.

Oldest sb's wife had one dd then 2 mcs then another dd. Both mcs were boys.

Youngest sb's wife had one dd then 5 mcs then another dd. All mcs were boys.

Has to say something genetic doesn't it?

Original poster

choolie · 07/02/2008 22:24

thanks mymama, that's interesting, but that sounds hideous over something so sad IYKWIM. I don't know very much about this, so excuse me if this is a stupid question, but how do they know what sex the baby of the mc was? as far as I know, my friends haven't been offered a test.

OP posts:

MrsEi25 · 07/02/2008 23:44

it all depends on at what point the MC happened. if it is before 12 weeks im not sure whether anything would be visible by way of sex determination. if the MCs are later than 12 weeks i think the sex is much more apparant. i think you are able to get genetic screening on the MC'd embryo if it is available (ie not broken down or flushed away down toilet etc ) if before 12 weeks as a tissue sample or similar test would be feasible. i had a feeling what sex my MC baby was but i didnt see anything and wasnt offered any tests myself and i was told my baby had stopped growing at around 11 weeks and i MC at 14 weeks therefore no way of sex being determined. perhaps your friend always thought/felt her babies were boys. i felt my baby was a boy throughout my preg with my DD and i was wrong in my feelings so it isnt exactly an accurate way of sex determination iyswim
your friend might be just trying to find another reason for her MCs and has picked upon this. xx
xx ei xx

shabster · 08/02/2008 00:03

wish my grandma was still here!! - we had been trying for a baby for about 3 years - i missed a period and was due to 'start again' I miscarried at about 7 weeks. I went on to have 4 DS and my gran always used to say 'you cant carry a girl' that quote always sticks in my mind. Dont have any medical backing for that at all - i used to think it was an old wives tale - but maybe???

Choolie please pass on my thoughts to your friend - bereavement is always awful - especially when its a child - unborn or here. All your hopes, dreams etc gone in a moment. x

pucca · 08/02/2008 00:19

I think there may be something in this actually, my nan had 4 girls but had 2 mcs in between, she was convinced it was that she couldn't carry boys.

Also my SIL has a friend, who has 2 boys, but in between those pgs she had a stillborn (no reason found) the baby was a girl, she had a very problematic pg, but no probs what so ever with the boys.

mymama · 08/02/2008 00:50

choolie - they had tests.

I can't remember exactly but they were all around the 10-11 week mark.

Drs never said it was a boy/girl thing but very coincidental.

Oddly 16 years on my oldest sb and his wife had a baby boy last year.

scotlass · 08/02/2008 12:24

I've been wondering about this too. my MIL stated this to my DH after our second mc 2 weeks ago. I asked the consultant and she said that for some reason statistically more mc's are boys but there was no evidence to support the theory that people could only have one sex or another. I don't know what my babies were cos the first was a complete miscarraige at 7wks and the second was a missed one at 11 wks they wouldn't send for tests - said they will do with the next one if it happens again.

However anecdotal evidence does seem to show something in it doesn't it - however I think for me that trying for a baby is stressfull enough though and I don't think I could face even more stress of trying for a specific sex

choolie good luck to your friend she must be so strong - I'm scared to go through it a 3rd time and she's had this heartache 7 times

NatalieJane · 08/02/2008 12:35

My family have a theory:

My mum had 5 girls, for simpleness I will call them (in age order, starting with eldest) T, A, K, N (me), and S.

T has no children.
A had 1 MC, one boy child, 1 MC.
K has 1 boy child, 1 MC, 1 boy child, 3 MC's, 1 boy child.
N (me) has 2 boy children, 1 MC.
S has no children.

So from 5 girls (so far) we have produced 6 perfectly healthy boys, and had a total of 7 MC's, two of which are confirmed as being girls.

The theory goes that because we a large family of girls, we all carry too many girly hormones, that attack a female baby.

So sorry about your friends loses, it is devasting to go through the once, 7 times is unimaginable.

juuule · 08/02/2008 12:36

I thought that my dd was a fluke. I'd had 2 boys with a m/c in between and then my dd. She was followed by another boy. If I'd not had any more children I would have been convinced that the m/c was a girl and that it was only luck that we'd had dd.
However, after ds3 we then went on to have another 6 girls (and another 7 m/c) so that put an end to that theory for me.

goingfor3 · 08/02/2008 12:42

I mc'd two boys, have two girls and am 24 weeks pregnant with a thirsd girl. My mc's happened at different stages and though I feel it was conincidence I was very reilvied when i found out this baby is a girl.

AngharadGoldenhand · 08/02/2008 12:43

How sad for your friend.

I had 2 dd, then a mc (boy), then another dd.

hanaflower · 08/02/2008 12:46

This reply has been deleted

Message withdrawn at poster's request.

orangehead · 09/02/2008 19:42

Im so sorry for your friend. I had 3 mcs, all 3 I had strong feelings were girls. I then went on to have to healthy boys, which I had strong feelings from early on that they were boys. It had cross my mind if I cant carry girls. But I have never found any info on it

sophiewd · 09/02/2008 19:52

I ahve a freind whose MC's were all boys, she has 3 girls

Steffy2u · 15/02/2008 22:28

my mom has had 6miscarriages, and they were all boys, and yet she had four girls (inlcuding me) the drs told her she couldnt carry boys. she did tell me why, but i completely forgotten it all. i however have had one miscarriage. didnt want to know the sex, cudnt bring myself to make the call. and yet carried a healthy boy and girl.

Shhhh · 17/02/2008 21:08

after x2 mc a nurse suggested to me that due to needing a higher hormone level to carry boys it may be boys I had lost....(no tests done..)

When I got pregnant the 3rd time and had a healthy dd I put her theory down as being correct....

When I got pregnant for the 4th time I was shocked to find out I was carrying a ds..!!!! I was so sure I would grow old with a houseful of girls..!!!!! BUT the theory was wrong and tbh I am glad it was..!!!!

To answer your question, yes I do believe that some people can only carry boys/girls. All down to hormone levels....iir.

Good luck to them x

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