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Miscarriage/pregnancy loss

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Original poster

molar pregnancy

49 replies

MadFran · 06/02/2008 20:00

Hi. this is my very 1st time on mumsnet. I had an ERPC for a molar pregnancy 3 and a half weeks ago. I'm 42 and my partner is 47, and altho I have 3 beautiful boys from my previous relationship, this would be his first. He has lymphoma so every day is precious and he was told 9 years ago he was sterile. Imagine our joy at New Year to find out that I was pregnant, then 10 days later the pregnancy could not continue. I've been thru so many different emotions and mostly on my own as he's away alot. I feel very alone. I know he's sort of grieving too. Is it normal to have an extra heavy period after an ERPC? It's horrid

OP posts:
justjules · 06/02/2008 20:07

This reply has been deleted

Message withdrawn at poster's request.

frogs · 06/02/2008 20:09

Hi Fran

So sorry to hear you're having a bad time. I had a molar pregnancy back in 1999, and it was horrible, so I know what you're going through.

Having said that, it does get better in time, it really does -- it seems like a blip to me now, but was completely devastating at the time.

I think it probably is normal to have an extra-heavy period after ERPC -- I remember the bleeding going on for a while afterwards.

There have been quite a few threads on this -- if you put 'molar pregnancy' into the search messages function on MN you should find a good few. I know soapbox has had one, and there are other regular MNers with experience. But it is still quite a rare condition, so if you don't get much response keep bumping.

Do feel free to CAT me if you'd like to chat off-board.

expatinscotland · 06/02/2008 20:10

i had an ERPC in december after missed miscarriage and my first period after it occured, although it wasn't until about 7 weeks later, was normal.

the bleeding after the ERPC itself was light.

bumping in case someone with more knowledge is along.

i'm sorry you are going through this.

Original poster
MadFran · 06/02/2008 20:57

Thanks for all the replies. It's such a boost to read ur kind words. I know that sounds soppy but it's true!
I did read a thread on molar preg from 2005 but that just made me think that I was the only one trying to cope with such a thing right now!
I've always been such a together sort of a person, I hardly recognise the tearful emotional wreck I've been recently. I realise that all the crazy hormones have a lot to answer for so I'll just blame them.

OP posts:
Fandango · 06/02/2008 22:16

Never been through your experience and I am genuinely so sorry for you. Things will get better though - you must believe that. I had a miscarriage a couple of weeks ago and I'm starting to feel human again now. Hormones really do strange things to a woman. Its truely horrible.
Take care and I wish you much luck for the future.

xxx

soapbox · 06/02/2008 22:30

Oh sweetheart

It is horrible - I think any pregnancy loss is difficult, but even more so when your health is compromised too.

do you know yet whether it was a complete or partial mole?

I think the bleeding is fairly normal - they have to be meticulous about getting every last bit of the mole out and so tend to scrape out much more ferociously than a typical ERPC. So a bit more bleeding is probably to be expected.

It was horrendously lonely at the time, no one had a clue what it was really, including many of the medical staff. I'm not sure what testing regime you are under, but I was with Charing Cross, the hotline contacts there were excellent, so do use them if you get confused about things.

The other thing to bear in mind is that with a molar pregnancy, your HCG levels are 100's of times higher than a normal pregnancy, and coming down from that level of hormone overload is potentially very traumatic. So cut yourself a LOT of slack, and your DP too. It is a difficult time, but you know, as Bran says, life does go on, although giving yourself permission to withdraw from 'normal service' is perfectly understandable

Original poster
MadFran · 07/02/2008 22:05

Thanks soapbox.

It's 4 weeks tomorrow since ERPC and still no histology results so I don't know if it's complete or partial. I'm going to be under Charing Cross when it all gets sorted. I've looked at the website and the set-up looks good.

Your comment about the bleeding makes sense. After waking up in a pool of blood last night and bleeding all morning, I became v lightheaded. I contacted my GP who has put me on something to help it stop altho they can't give me anything hormonal.Got to go into A&E tomorrow if no better.Great.

I agree it feels like 'coming down off of something'. I think my 3 ds keep me sane.

OP posts:
Teuch · 07/02/2008 22:08

Cuoldn't read and not post - just to say my thoughts are with you and yuor family.

I hope you get the support and attention you need.

Original poster
MadFran · 07/02/2008 22:11

Thanks Teuch

Waiting for the follow up treatment to start is a killer. I just want to try to heal and get on with my life.

OP posts:
frogs · 07/02/2008 22:13

Charing X are loverly.

Hope you feel better soon.

x

Original poster
MadFran · 07/02/2008 22:19

Did you just get a phone call from Charing Cross?

Not sure how contact will be made. I think I have to send samples to them as I live in East Kent.

Just wish I knew what was going on

OP posts:
LittleHarrysMum · 07/02/2008 22:19

Hi,

I had a complete mole in 2004 and now have a lovely ds. I can't remeber too much about the bleeding after the D & C but what I do remember was it was quite heavy.

I was also under Charing Cross and if you want to know anything about the follow-up that you will have to receive I'm more than happy to help.

It's a weird experience ( not great words I Know) Not many people that you'll speak to in RL will know what it is. I never knew mumsnet back then but did find a great website www.mymolarpregnancy.com which I found very helpful at the time.

thinking of you xxx

Original poster
MadFran · 07/02/2008 22:24

Thanks LHM. I'll look up that site.

It's true that not many people know what it is and it's rather painful having to explain to eg. GP receptionists when they're asking the usual awkward probing questions in front of a waiting room full of strangers!!

OP posts:
frogs · 07/02/2008 22:25

iirc you will be referred to them automatically by the hospital, and they will be in touch with an information sheet and sample boxes. Which will involve peeing in impossibly tiny test tubes and putting it in the post. Lucky postman.

And intermittently you have to organise blood samples too, which also get sent through the post. Of course the protocol may have changed, the last sample I did was post-dd2 in 2004.

Charing cross have a website here and they have a lovely person who answers the phone if you have any queries. So you could always give them a call and find out how the system works now.

Original poster
MadFran · 07/02/2008 22:36

Thanks frogs - useful info. I'll practice peeing with accuracy!

OP posts:
LittleHarrysMum · 07/02/2008 22:36

It's a good site, mostly american experiences but a few that have been with Charing X. It sometimes helps to read what you're going through in the words of others IYSWIM.

The last follow up I did was after DS was July 2006 and it was pretty much the same. Pee into the tiny tube (all over your hands!) and then down the hospital for the blood test which they will send off for you (pee & blood) Beware the fact that when you take in your note from Charing re blood test there will be 10 minutes of discussion between nurses about what it's all about, which colour blood tube they need to use etc. Don't blame them just remember which colour tube they use to save yourself time.

xx

TheMadHouse · 08/02/2008 08:25

Hi Fran

I am so sorry for your loss.

I experianced a twin molar pregnancy 10 years ago and was under charing cross. I had to have two years worth of testing. Monthly bloods and weekly urnine for 6 months and then down to monthly.

I have gone on to have two wonderful boys, although I did find my Molar a really hard experiance and if was difficult explaining to people, so in the end I just told them I had a miscarriage.

I hope that you receive some councelling and take some time to get over things.

Original poster
MadFran · 08/02/2008 09:26

Hi TheMadHouse.

My dp suggested counselling. I think I'll wait til I come down off the hcg a bit til I decide. I'm lucky that he's being v v supportive and patient.

Thanks for the tip re: tubes, LHM. x

OP posts:
babyinarms · 09/02/2008 15:24

Hi Fran, so sorry for your loss.
I had molar pregnancy (partial) 18 months ago. It is horrific experience but it does get easier I promise, I know that is hard to believe now.
They followed me up for 6 months, and i did get pregnant straight after (not suppose to, mind you) and thankfully have wonderful DD now aged 5 months.
I remember the bleeding being heavy but not overly so...do get it checked tomorrow if it doesnt settle.
I also remember being an emotional wreck for quite a while afterwards so be nice to yourself and allow yourself time to grieve too. [[[[[[[hugs]]]]]]]

lovelylou · 10/02/2008 14:39

Hi Fran, just felt i should drop in to offer some support. I had a complete molar pregnancy in march last year so i know how you are feeling. Keep pestering them for your results cos it took three months to get mine and i was in a right state by the time i got them.
All i can say is that it does get easier with time. I am now 18 weeks pregnant and although i am very nervous everything seems fine so far. I am so sorry for your loss and i hope your follow up goes well

Original poster
MadFran · 12/02/2008 21:30

Congrats lovelylou. I really hope it all goes fantastic for you.

4 and a half weeks and still no results. They don't seem bothered but it's constantly at the back of my mind.It is wierd feeling such loss for a baby that never was. Maybe it's harder cos it's so confusing.

Dr gave me something to help clots form so the bleeding is slowly easing.

OP posts:
xpaisx · 15/02/2008 21:24

im realy sorry to hear about your loss my name is paisley and on the 11/02/08 i found out that my baby didnt have a heart beat.i was supposed to be four months gone but wasnt putting any weight on and was told that the baby had died at 9 weeks and 1 day. its called a missed miscarriage but there was also a possibilty that it could be a partial molar pregnancy. i had the surgery on the 13/02/08 and am waiting for the test results. i cant stop thinking about it and how happy me and my partner were but now it feels like my whole world is crashing down before me.my partner has just clammed up and gone back to normal already i no hes gutted so i just want to be able to speak to him but he doesnt want to i dont no what to do i feel so alone i just need him but hes not there right now.i just dont no how he can move on so quick.xx

babyinarms · 15/02/2008 21:36

I know that feeling Fran. you still have to grieve for the baby you thought you were going to have.it's still a major loss so be easy on yourself. hope bleeding has settled down.

mummytobea · 21/02/2008 15:14

I had an ERPC to remove molar pregnancy on Monday. It's such a strange situation isn't it? I hope you don't mind me asking but was your stomach quite swollen after the procedure? I had got a bit of a belly (apparently one of the signs of a molar?) and kind of expected it to go to that post natal jelly consistency afterwards, however it still seems quite swollen - did you have anything like this?
I hope that your results have now come through - they have told me two weeks, but I won't be holding my breath!

xpaisx · 26/02/2008 19:24

hi mummytobea im sorry to hear about your situation yeah it is a realy strange experience a horrible one it just adds to your problems doesnt it? yes my stomach was quite swollen and still is abit but i had a bit of a bump anyway. its just swelling of the uterus but if you are worried go and see your gp. im afraid my results have still not come back its been two weeks tommorrow since the op i just hate the waiting. i hope all is well with your results well as well as they could be. i hope this has helped a little speak to you soon xx