Pregnancy after MC

[virgo22]

Just looking for some words of wisdom from someone.
I already have a little boy who's nearly two. In 2022 I had two miscarriages. I feel empty, I feel like deep down I would love another baby, but also feel scared at the thought of getting pregnant.
I then think it would be better to wait to try and get over things more, but then I worry about if we decide to wait a year etc what if I miscarry again, then that time has been wasted.
I'm not sure what the point of this post is

I'm so sorry you went through that. I'm sad to say I know how hard it is having a MC. I was terrified even to have sex again.
When I did get pregnant afterwards I was happy but I also I felt a bit guilty about it and that made me feel sad and ungrateful at the same time as feeling happy it happened again.

I found writing a letter to our lost baby helped me. I read it with my husband and I keep it in a book with a scan photo. I still think on them but my personal experience was that I was very scared of loss again but consecutive miscarriages are very rare. I had a private scan at 8 weeks which really helped calm me although honestly it was always at the back of my mind a bit of fear it could happen. It didn't however ruin pregnancy or anything like that.

Not sure this will help but know you're not alone and any feelings you have - whatever they are - they're OK, valid and you shouldn't feel bad.

@scubalu thank you so much for your comment. I'm currently feeling the exact same, I am so scared to have sex!
I don't want to go on contraception as I don't want anything to get in the way should we decide sooner. But we actually fell pregnant after the pull out method last time so I'm just so scared as right now I know I'm petrified.
It's so easy to think you're alone so thank you so much for this x

@virgo22 Ive been exactly where you are, it’s so hard. I’m currently pregnant following a tfmr in Nov 2021 and a miscarriage in August 2022. I’m 14 weeks now and touch wood everything is looking like it’s progressing well.

I would agree with pp that doing something to commemorate the lost babies was helpful to me. As to trying again, I personally found that trying to get pregnant again felt quite separate to the grieving process. I could spend time thinking about the lost pregnancies and processing my feelings while still TTC. But, I’m not saying it was an easy process. Unsuccessful months were very hard and the weeks leading up to my 12 week scan this time were among the most stressful I’ve ever had. I don’t know if this would have been different had I waited a year.

I have regular (private) therapy which has been invaluable in sorting all these feelings out, if that’s accessible for you I’d really recommend it.

There isn’t a one size fits all answer here, there’s just a quest for peace and fulfilment that will take us all on different paths. I hope you can figure out what you need to work your way towards that peace.

@royalrecording I'm so sorry about what you've been through, it really is the hardest. Congratulations on your pregnancy too!
I get some free therapy sessions through work, so I am going to take some up for support and hope this helps slightly.
I think it's the mental battle in my head I'm not sure if I'm ready to be constantly overwhelmed with the TTC or if we do get pregnant, worrying every single day as it's so exhausting. But at the same time, if we want another - we will have to start somewhere!
Hopefully it gets better with time. Thank you for your reply